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Welcome to the Leisenstelle.
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A podcast about mental health.
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I'm Sascha Markmann and say hello! Today's topic, that's something that I myself
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This is borderline personality disorder. Yes, and that is today's topic.
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The perfidious thing about borderline disorder is that it occurs in many areas of life,
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Actually, in all areas of life, somehow affects. Starting with relationships or in
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Everyday life, shopping, alone the house
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Leaving and that leads to life.
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huge challenges. I have mine
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Diagnosis in the mid-20s,
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After a good friend of mine
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He pointed out that with me
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Something isn't quite right with me. So she had the feeling and I can say,
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She had experience with psychiatry herself and was there, I think, sensitized. Such as:
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Many people who have had experience in psychiatry. They're just for it
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Raise awareness. So what is Borderline anyway? Yeah, so we can just
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Open a book like this and then best of all the ICD-10 and then we read things like that.
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such as – it is an emotionally unstable personality of type Borderline. There is another,
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That would be the type of impulsive, but that's a different topic now in a different place. She will be there
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Divided under the F keys, something like 60, sort of 60.31, to be exact. And yes,
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If you read it that way, you somehow have the feeling that this also applies to me,
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because personality disorders are disorders or severe or less pronounced proportions
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in the personality. And since we all have a complex personality,
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here is a little more and with the others stop at the same place a little less,
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You have the feeling, yes, that's where I find myself again. It's just the question of how strong these are.
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Interpretations are trained. Beuterleinern are said to be very intense, very erratic.
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The feelings they experience are just as intense and volatile. It can be overwhelming,
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To experience these feelings. It's hard when I have such a feeling high or low,
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to regulate it. You're almost … you're … nee, you're not hanging, you're your feelings
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It's almost out of hand and that makes it very difficult. Another, more important feature is
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The black and white thinking. In technical jargon called splitting. People or situations are either
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Totally idealized or severely devalued. There is no healthy mean. I always say,
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There is no grey. There are a lot of shades of grey between black and white.
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A loved one can speak out within minutes, a fraction of a second
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experience. From super-great to the enemy and there must be fought and that by all means,
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Whether it's rational or irrational, it can be tough. I can only say one thing,
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If I have a discussion or conflict with my girlfriend, we're both borderliners,
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It's really bad and what a star they throw in their heads, it really does, it sits, it hurts.
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And unaffected people can be totally overwhelmed because that is so extreme.
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Yes, there are also attempts at manipulation, which I will go into more detail later,
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then statements like "You don't love me" or "I hate you", "You're the worst,
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What ever happened to me. Such an example is "Sarah loves her best friend above all else,
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But once she cancels a date, she immediately feels betrayed, rejected,
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unloved and breaks off contact. The next day she suffers from this situation and regrets
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She sits there and doesn't understand why she reacted so violently. And this
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It's something I've learned from my past.
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I know you, especially before I know you.
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I went to therapy and it was very
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I worked hard and hard on myself.
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There were also such conflicts. Now it was
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It wasn't so widespread at the time that
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you had a cell phone everywhere and then
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Someone could quickly block,
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There is no smartphone that can be used in
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social networks could go in and then block, but you could have a phone number
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block, but for social networks you had to go to the computer. Another whole
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an important construction site is a proximity and distance problem, a constant conflict, i.e. between "I let
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Someone approach me, I need someone and that's too much now, go away.
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And people with Bonne Borderline want deep, real bonds.
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At the same time, they are also panicked about it. As soon as someone is emotionally too close to you
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Come on, feel overwhelmed. The closeness is perceived as threatening,
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Because they learned early. Proximity means
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Injury often. So they pull
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back. But this withdrawal then resolves
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Give them what they like the most.
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fear, namely, the fear of the
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To be abandoned. There is a
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Good book. That's "I hate you,
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Don't leave me. And I'll link it to the shownotes. This was the first book,
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What I read on this subject matter, I immediately felt understood.
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The result is that you are constantly having some relationships that are super intense,
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but also super unstable and people who can not deal with it, they turn then at some point
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Let go of one, because this constant ups and downs and "I let you get close to me and then push
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I'll take you away," a healthy person won't last long. This is so, as an example one could say,
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Tom is with Lisa. Whenever Lisa shows them her love,
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He stops, distances himself. But as soon as she walks away,
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He calls her nonstop and cries, begging her not to leave him.
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And that just means that no one really knows what's going on now.
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Everyone feels misunderstood,
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Neither Tom nor Lisa,
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and
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They just don't move forward because
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You just can't handle it and
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Tom can't deal with himself and how is Lisa supposed to do that?
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Of course, there are also relationships with other people,
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family, friends,
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They are all very conflicted, because
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These relationships are also characterized by an intensity and aversion and idealization.
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I can only say from my own experience, when I meet new people and I find something great,
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Then I idealize this completely over and then I am offended at the first disappointment.
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Meanwhile, I can regulate all this and tell myself that I have exaggerated there and people are not perfect,
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But I still have this weird thinking, and I think I'll never get rid of it.
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It must be said that all these emotional fluctuations lead to situations,
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With which no one can really deal and it can lead to misunderstandings, outbursts of anger, seizures, deepest affection.
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And that's what's going on around this bag.
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This is typical, for example, of impulsivity.
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Decisions are made from the moment without thinking about the consequences.
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It's escalating really fast.
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Small things quickly turn into a big fight.
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And yes, I know that too. That's wow.
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Yes, I said before, idealization and devaluation, that's also a thing,
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Thing, you have to do it yourself first
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Get along and everyone else too. And there are
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even out of fear, leaving
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It is a jealousy and
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A control behavior.
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I can only do that now
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confirm a little bit, because the fear of
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Abandoned, yes, but I never
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put pressure on others and do not control them, because I do not want to do it myself,
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Someone is controlling me. Who wants that? When I think about it,
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I know a well-known couple, also a borderline affected, the other not,
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And then there are conflicts. Let's call it Paul and Jana. Paul and Jana lead a
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Totally normal relationship. Paul says he wants to spend the evening with joy. Jana feels
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This is interpreted as a sign that it means nothing to him. It
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This is followed by an hour-long argument, even though Paul would simply have needed some time for himself.
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I know you, too. Yes, I experienced it myself.
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In a different relationship. It's bad.
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Especially if you didn't think about it.
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I've never really made a big tooth because
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I, who could control everything well, even if the fear that someone might get lost always resonates with it.
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But you also have to know your own price, your own value somewhere.
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And I think before I did therapy, I was crasser.
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But let's talk about inner perception, inner waves.
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And I would say that's such a mixture of chaos and pain.
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On the outside, many borderliners seem very moody,
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Exaggeratedly sensitive, but inside there is often a deep, hardly tolerable emotional chaos.
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And this can even extend to a deep inner void, because if it becomes too much, then there are protective mechanisms that lead to the fact that everything is simply regulated away.
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And then you don't feel anything anymore, but then there is this deep emptiness.
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And this feeling can even go so far that you no longer know who you are.
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Even one's identity disappears.
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And this is also a core syndrome of borderline personality disorder,
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You have an identity disorder.
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I really didn't know for a long time,
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What is special about me,
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what strengths, what weaknesses I have,
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Which is why I could be liked at all.
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I found it really hard
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And that unsettles one.
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On the other hand, you are also incredibly adaptable.
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Yeah, like a little chameleon.
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If you throw me into a group, I adapt to the group.
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If you throw me into another group, I adapt to that group.
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If this feeling of inner emptiness simply becomes too great or other emotional states such as fear, anger, deep sadness, even joy, it can lead to self-harming behavior.
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Now, some experts say,
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Self-proclaimed experts, that's what you do.
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Just because of the need for attention,
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Extensiveness to attract attention
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generate. But the interesting thing is,
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The pain that comes with the
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The action isn't really there,
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In the end, however, this leads to a reduction in internal pressure. And as the blood flows,
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This too much emotion just flows out of you. And that's how it is
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Valve for feelings. Can this be better described? The stupid thing about it is,
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it works wonderfully and it is highly effective, just does not last long. How could I do this
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Take an example now? After a fight, Mia feels an emptiness in herself and this state,
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In order to interrupt this state, she scratches herself. The pain calms her for the moment,
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But then comes what many brothers and sisters feel, or even a lot of people feel.
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Suffering from self-injurious behavior. You're ashamed of what you did because you're so weak again.
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It was that you had to do it. For there are visible traces and these visible traces,
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This is constantly being addressed. Or there are stupid looks. Let's go to the
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Let's get to the point where we talk about whether you, as a borderliner, are able to relate to others.
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lead. And yes, that's possible if you do certain self-protection and pay attention to yourself.
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Because a big mistake is that people with borderline are incapable of loving or
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To have relationships. It's more likely that people with borderline tend to go too fast.
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Making any relationships, friendships too fast, any couple relationships too fast
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And that can then stop from, as already said, super intense to super critical,
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because then comes a self-harming behavior, or self-injury behavior,
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in which one engages in too intense sexual contacts and then does not consider oneself,
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but virtually relieves pressure on it or simply goes there and pushes its value.
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Or just to feel something or not to feel something, but to feel something else.
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Yes, there are so many different things.
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Yes, then there is also the thing that stops this non-relationship ability also
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because borderliners often have fears of not being enough, then fear
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to be abandoned, the fear of giving too much, giving too little and I can only
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I say that from my experience and also in the legitimate relationship I see it yes
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Again and again, make sure you don't take too much of yourself.
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Let's say with the natural chips, then you make sure that the other also something
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so that you don't take too much yourself to protect the other person from
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Gets too little. Many behaviors that are hurtful to outsiders are in
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It is also a kind of self-protection. They're supposed to prevent people from doing it again.
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Injure deeply. Just as events in childhood, even in the earliest childhood, can
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that you can't really have relationships because you have that primal trust,
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This trust in other people has never really been built. It can also be put in a
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totally chaotic relationship for outsiders and you can't really do it yourself
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Assess in which direction it is moving. As an outsider, as a partner, as a friend, as an acquaintance.
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I've seen people where I've thought for myself, ui, that's fierce. During therapy,
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behind special borderline therapy, where I thought so when you're on it,
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This is a house number. As someone who is affected by the borderline himself and with
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someone who suffers from borderline, I can only say that something that
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It's very important, and that's setting boundaries.
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I have already written an article on this in my blog that sets boundaries is important.
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Setting boundaries is not selfishness. This is another contribution. And we in our
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Relationships work really well with setting boundaries and accepting or adhering to boundaries.
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For relatives, it is really important to know that they can set limits without being heartless.
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Especially in relationships with Borderline, it is crucial that you do not have to do any self-abandonment in this fight.
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Because the other is sick and I have to take myself back.
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There is always a point somewhere where you say stop, so stop, until here still
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No further. It is important to communicate clearly,
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But also in a calm tone that has now reached a limit.
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Attacks should not always be taken personally, especially if there is a high
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Excitation state gives, can really fall malices and malices,
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The right place to sit, where you really have to swallow yourself as a person who can do this well.
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So I've already heard things from my girlfriend, I thought,
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Holla the Wallfehin, that's not from bad parents. I certainly have
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I said things to her in a fight where she thought it was. It is important that even if it
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There was a conflict, that one stays in contact and also to one's own needs. Because if I
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since self-abandonment works and accepts and accepts everything, then I do myself
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Nothing good, not at all. And there comes a point where the frustration and
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how can I say that, the frustration, the injuries and those negative moments
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just so prevalent that it then leads to the termination of the relationship, the friendship,
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that there is a discontinuation of contact, not on the part of the borderliner, but on the part of the human being,
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Which is perhaps the most important one. Which really, really helps relatives,
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Talking to friends and exchanging ideas. There are self-help groups
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for members of Borderliner. You can also spend a few hours with a therapist.
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Talk and get tips and tricks to deal with it better.
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Now I can almost only try to illustrate this again with an example.
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Lena lives in a partnership with a partner who has Borderline.
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She learned in a therapy that she did especially because the partnership was important to her,
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that in a dispute, in an escalation of the situation, she does not scream and jumps on the sinking ship,
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but first allow distance, calm down, calm down the situation and then direct the conversation to it again and without being blamed.
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This leads to the fact that simply the necessary calmness is there and the relationship offers security.
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So also the conversation then takes place in a safe setting and which ensures safety.
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That's important.
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Yeah, well, let's get to the end. What can I bring along? There is hope,
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Definitely. I saw it with therapy. Living with Borderliner is one of them.
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The challenge of living with Borderline itself is also a challenge. With someone,
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If you have a borderline, it's also a challenge. There are, of course, such,
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that you have a greater understanding of each other, if you have such special behaviors
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day, but as I said, if there's conflict, it's going to be evil. But by and large
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There are two ways in which this
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Life is better with Borderline. This
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One is, you get older, you get older
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Quiet, you learn to live with yourself. This
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The other is that you can do therapy.
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DBT is a recognized possibility. This
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This means dialectically B-H-viral therapy.
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I'm sure I cut it wrong.
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It was specially developed for some with Borderline and helps with strong emotions,
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To learn the necessary craft, to regulate it with various techniques.
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It takes a little practice. You also learn to deal better with each other in interpersonal relationships.
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And the interesting thing is, if you have done this therapy, then it is so that it really shows its full effect only after years.
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That's not the case now, I go to the hospital, do a few months of therapy, usually for twelve weeks.
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And when I get out of there, I'm a
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Better people and with me you can
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live better. No, that's not the case.
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Of course, relatives can also
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Learn to deal better with situations
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and maintain the relationship
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because it understands then
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for the fact that he is just so
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the way he behaves, out of an emergency situation, out of an overload.
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So if that really turns into chaos. And you really have to be open and honest
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Be in communication and also dealing with your feelings should be clear and open
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Communicate what is going on in you.
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And that speaks to both sides.
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I found out when I
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Say I'm feeling right now
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misunderstood because
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I feel like you're me
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If you're attacking, I can do better.
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Explain why this is so,
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Why do I feel misunderstood now, as if I'm immediately going up and yelling around?
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Yes, I'm sure I can still make some episodes to Borderline, because that was just now
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such a very small, rough different from what Borderline is, and I have tried to show,
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where difficulties arise and where difficulties lie.
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It's just really difficult to convey knowledge without it somehow being so "Hello,
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0:31:46 – 0:31:54
I'm a doctor" or "Hello, I'm a psychologist" sounds, but in a normal language,
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0:31:54 – 0:32:02
which is understandable to convey all this, because, as the name already says,
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0:32:02 – 0:32:12
Personalities are complex in structure. Each of us has such a personality. Without
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We would be soulless machines. Greetings to JetGBT. And these personalities are
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0:32:22 – 0:32:34
They are all differently shaped, educated. So, of course, there will be a few consequences.
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0:32:34 – 0:32:42
So if you could take something from this episode for yourself, please write it to me in the
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0:32:42 – 0:32:49
Comments. I'd be happy about that.
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0:32:49 – 0:32:54
And be sure you're not alone,
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Whether you are a family member or
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0:32:59 – 0:33:02
It was there, because it was there, and it
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0:33:02 – 0:33:05
There will be many people after you.
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0:33:05 – 0:33:09
This disease and they will all
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0:33:05 – 0:33:16
To learn more or less to live. I can only say from my observation,
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0:33:16 – 0:33:26
That it really gets better with age and that therapy really helps. So,
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0:33:26 – 0:33:35
Thanks for listening and we will hear each other at a next issue of the Leisensstille
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Or in one of the other podcast formats. Goodbye and thanks for listening. Your Sasha
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