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00:00 - 0:00:07
The Monologue podcast.
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0:00:07 – 0:00:26
One word, one monologue.
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0:00:26 – 0:00:46
Hello and welcome to a new episode of the Monologue Podcast where I have a word
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0:00:46 – 0:00:51
I will explain and I say welcome.
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Today's word is People Peaser.
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0:00:56 – 0:00:58
What is a People Peaser?
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Basically, it is a person to whom it is a deep need, all right.
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to make.
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Nothing that people don't like to do.
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I also like to do other people a favor or I also like to do other people a favor.
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Liked, but it's more of an inner compulsion.
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And I came across this term after interacting with people around me.
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who are there for others and also do favors, even though they
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I don't want to do it.
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Simply out of the feeling that that's the only way they're liked.
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That's the real reason.
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Why I use this word today, it's actually two words, People and then Peaser.
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Why I just want to talk about the word today.
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Where does this people peasing come from?
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It often has something to do with education.
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So it is in the past, in childhood or adolescence and even mostly a
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A very authoritarian environment.
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Because when children or adolescents grow up in a home where they only pay attention
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get or be defined as good if they meet the expectations and thus get praise,
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Then they develop this tendency towards people peasing.
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But it can also be that it is simply the fear of not being liked.
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And out of fear of losing relationships, these people do more,
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How you want to do.
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So they put the desires of others above their desires.
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And because they then appear to be particularly attractive, because they are always there, they
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If you always do something, you will be liked in quotes.
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It may also be that there is perfectionism behind it.
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So always be perceived nicely, reliably or competently.
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And these people rarely say no, even though they didn't want to.
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Or not wanting to.
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However, a low self-esteem can also lead to this, because you never have any
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Received confirmation from outside.
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So you want to be particularly competent by being very helpful.
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But what also, and this is unfortunately very often the case, that there are just traumas in the past
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There is.
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And here we are again in education, in our civilization, and we are moving forward.
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A little bit in a circle.
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However, there may also be cultural and social influences.
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When you grow up in an environment where it's normal to be there for others and
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To serve the community can also lead to such behavior.
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The consequences of this are that they are not really stable relationships, because as long as
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If you're there for the other person, you're good.
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And if you can't afford it anymore, why ever, then you'll just fall
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Like a hot potato.
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Because always being there for other people and wanting to do it right for everyone and always
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Creating harmony can be very exhausting.
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And so it may be that you stop when you have worked well for a while and for
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others have acted self-sacrificingly, then has to withdraw for a while
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Recharge the batteries.
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Because many people simply forget to take breaks that are good.
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are for you.
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Prioritize yourself and put your needs first.
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I know something like that.
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I am also a person who is very in need of harmony and has often done some things
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Which I really didn't want to do.
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At the moment there is also such a decision within the family, although I honestly
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I don't feel like it, because there are just many, many bad hurtful incidents in the world.
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There was the past.
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And I now have this conflict in me that I don't want to go there, but also
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the conflict that I am then the one who has taken away the right to
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pull out of the situation and thus stand out again unpleasantly.
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Yes, we see it's a vicious circle and I also see the conflict that I have in me.
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I have and that doesn't do me any good.
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I'm really confused about how to act behind it.
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For on the one hand, I know that when I went there, I was so exhausted afterwards,
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I can go to bed and just sleep the rest of the day.
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Or I don't go there and have a bad conscience all the time.
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I don't know if you can understand this or if you already have similar situations.
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You have experienced it yourself.
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It is difficult and I also believe that these conflicts have left me in the past.
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have been so broken and sick so many times that I have actually taken a longer time off
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I needed it and it also led me to depression, one time or another.
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And I also realize that I am now acutely struggling with depression again and
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This is not least due to the problematic behavior within the family.
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But as you say so nicely, you can choose many things in life as yourself, only
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Not the family in which you were born.
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What can you do about people peacing?
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More often than not, stand up for yourself and just think about yourself.
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I know this is easier said than done, because you always have this bad
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conscience, because this own expectation, which I believe is the greatest hurdle, does not
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the expectation of oneself, but the expectation of oneself
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Ask, that's the problem.
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I would be glad if I could say, yes, this is the panacea, the panacea,
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But I don't have it.
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I would say we have a relatively fast number for this little one today.
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Word, for this New German word, because it is actually an English word or
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Wörther and we were able to deal with this relatively quickly.
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I find it interesting that it has been in the cultural or pop-cultural field in recent years.
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More and more years are opening up.
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As you can see, there are newspaper articles about what was not the case 10, 15 years ago.
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was, but so only in the last 2, maybe 1.5 years dive there again and again articles
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to explain this problem or to explain this problematic behavior to a
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itself.
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Yes, I think that was it and that should be enough for today.
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I thank you for listening, I would like to talk about a lively exchange
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In the comments, rejoice and say goodbye to the next time, your Sasha.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Bye bye.
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Description:
In this episode, we dive into the world of People Pleasing – a phenomenon that many people know but are often hard to break through. What is behind the deep-rooted need to please everyone? What impact does this behavior have on our relationships, mental health, and balance in our own lives? Without being instructive, the term is illuminated from a psychological, social and personal perspective – with illustrative examples, honest insights and an invitation to question one’s own boundaries. How do such patterns arise? What can be done to break them? This episode encourages reflection, raises awareness of the dynamics of adaptation and self-abandonment and perhaps gives one or the other impulse to say ‘no’ more often and to put oneself first. A topic that is not only exciting and relevant for those affected, but for everyone.
Topics Outline:
- Introduction and Welcome
- Presentation of the podcast and introduction to People Pleasing.
- Why this topic is relevant today.
- What is People Pleasing?
- Definition of the term.
- Differences between friendly behavior and compulsive pleasing.
- Causes of People Pleasing
- Influence of education: authoritarian environment and childhood experiences.
- Fear of rejection and perfectionism.
- Cultural and social influences.
- The impact on life
- Exhaustion and burnout due to constant adjustment.
- Unstable relationships due to unbalanced expectations.
- Personal experience
- Reflect on your own experiences and current conflicts.
- The inner dichotomy between adaptation and self-protection.
- Strategies against People Pleasing
- How to learn to prioritize your own needs.
- Practical tips for more self-care.
- Conclusion and conclusion
- Summary of key findings.
- Invitation to listeners to share their own experiences.
Links to the issue:
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Contributors to this episode
Sascha
Playing time: 0:12:28
Date of admission: 17.12.24
This episode is from Season 2, there are a total of 2 seasons.
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Podcast license:
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Author: Sascha Markmann
Sascha Markmann ist ein kreativer Kopf mit einer bewegten Biografie – und ein Mensch, der das Leben nach einem Schlaganfall noch einmal ganz neu für sich entdeckt hat. Nach Stationen als Rettungssanitäter und Altenpfleger fand Sascha seinen Weg in den kreativen Ausdruck. Als Blogger, Podcaster, Musiker und visueller Geschichtenerzähler bringt er heute Dinge zusammen, die nur auf den ersten Blick nicht passen: Er kombiniert seine handfeste Begeisterung für Technik – von selbst gehosteten Servern bis hin zur elektronischen Musikproduktion – mit emotionaler Tiefe und einem schrägen Sinn für Humor. Seine Beiträge entstehen irgendwo zwischen Borderline, Acid Basslines und Beistand – ehrlich, direkt und gerne auch mal mit einem Augenzwinkern. Leitmotiv: „Audiovisueller Stumpfsinn mit keinem Nutzwert – aber vielleicht genau deshalb so wertvoll.“ View all posts by Sascha Markmann
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