According to Funk Podcast & Blog

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00:00 - 0:00:15 [Music]
0:00:15 – 0:00:18 Hello and welcome to a new edition of...
0:00:18 – 0:00:21 No, the diversion.
0:00:21 – 0:00:27 Since I deviate quite a bit from the topic here and there.
0:00:27 – 0:00:37 Yes, as you can hear, I still have a bit of a cold and more or less report back from the hospital camp.
0:00:37 – 0:00:45 For the last two months, I've had a cold.
0:00:45 – 0:00:52 There was a short period where I was once healthier,
0:00:52 – 0:01:04 But somehow I wasn't really healthy either, because there was always this stupid cold in between.
0:01:04 – 0:01:08 Corrosive, absolutely corrosive.
0:01:08 – 0:01:15 Let's talk about death today.
0:01:15 – 0:01:26 My aunt passed away a week ago.
0:01:26 – 0:01:31 There wasn't such a great relationship with her now.
0:01:31 – 0:01:37 My aunt was always a little strange and difficult.
0:01:37 – 0:01:51 Had always had any, yes how can I say, such views that were far from what was normal for me.
0:01:51 – 0:01:56 Maybe it's because she didn't have children herself.
0:01:56 – 0:02:00 Her husband was also older.
0:02:00 – 0:02:09 I don't know how old my uncle was. 13, 14, 15, maybe 17 years older.
0:02:09 – 0:02:14 He was seriously ill and needed care.
0:02:14 – 0:02:17 It seems very familiar to me.
0:02:17 – 0:02:26 Little fun fact between me and my girlfriend or fiancé are just 13 years old.
0:02:26 – 0:02:36 My uncle is good.
0:02:36 – 0:02:41 How long has he been dead?
0:02:41 – 0:02:46 Maybe three or four weeks before my aunt died.
0:02:46 – 0:02:53 My uncle passed away and, as I said, he was also very ill.
0:02:53 – 0:02:58 And that's why it was foreseeable.
0:02:58 – 0:03:01 He also had his age.
0:03:01 – 0:03:08 At over 80 and as I said, the best relationship to it is not.
0:03:08 – 0:03:11 He had a son, but he was a little weird.
0:03:11 – 0:03:15 He never really told me what he was doing professionally.
0:03:15 – 0:03:23 I knew he was working in chemistry at the university in Bochum.
0:03:23 – 0:03:28 And that he was also involved in scientific publications there.
0:03:28 – 0:03:34 But he hadn't studied a doctor now, like some other families in the family.
0:03:34 – 0:03:41 They all have a doctorate in natural sciences, mainly chemistry.
0:03:41 – 0:03:55 And my aunt was a radio technical assistant, so in the RTA.
0:03:55 – 0:04:01 He worked in the hospital and then in radiology.
0:04:01 – 0:04:13 In other words, CT images or even sintigrams were taken with such a radioactive contrast agent.
0:04:13 – 0:04:24 I don't want to focus on the professional, but rather on the subject of death, because it has brought this forward again.
0:04:24 – 0:04:29 My father passed away in 2018, all of a sudden.
0:04:29 – 0:04:36 He had had a few heart problems before and had been in treatment for years.
0:04:36 – 0:04:47 And because we also know of a family MS, the suspicion had also been there, because the symptoms were so strange that it is also MS.
0:04:47 – 0:05:03 He had then made appointments with the neurologist, the cardiologist and died five weeks before the appointments with the cardiologist of a sudden cardiac death.
0:05:03 – 0:05:15 I've already mentioned this on my blog or here and there in a video or podcast that my father died.
0:05:15 – 0:05:23 That which was so bad, that had been, I had written with him and then from now on nothing more.
0:05:23 – 0:05:33 I then had an appointment the next day and then I already thought because he is so bad that he does not get in touch.
0:05:33 – 0:05:36 That's why I canceled the appointment.
0:05:36 – 0:05:43 Then after two or three days, I called the police, who said why don't you go there yourself.
0:05:43 – 0:05:55 Yes, I am severely disabled, need to move forward, currently in a wheelchair and I just can't manage to drive from where I live to the neighboring city.
0:05:55 – 0:06:03 Yeah, then we said my dad was dead, and that was quite a shock, of course.
0:06:03 – 0:06:19 But since I also had no contact with my sister and my mother at the time for various complicated reasons, I was then able to establish the connection again.
0:06:19 – 0:06:36 I mean, how good that you are not resentful and immediately there for each other, because I was so in need of help at the time that I would not have managed alone.
0:06:36 – 0:06:46 So many, many thanks for the help from my sister and my mother at the time.
0:06:46 – 0:06:57 The first time I came into contact with death, I must have been twelve.
0:06:57 – 0:07:03 My grandmother died and she was buried on my birthday.
0:07:03 – 0:07:06 That was the only grandma who was still there.
0:07:06 – 0:07:14 Another grandma died on the day of my birth, so at some point 77.
0:07:14 – 0:07:27 That's kind of interesting, if you find out a few hours before you came into the world yourself, someone else has left the family.
0:07:27 – 0:07:43 And then it was like that at 14, then it was my grandparents, on the paternal side, where first the grandpa died, no the grandma, the grandma died first.
0:07:43 – 0:07:51 She was full of cancer and then a few weeks later grandpa, full of loneliness.
0:07:51 – 0:08:03 I only met my grandfather as a nice, dear man, but when my father and his sister, Aunt Helga, told me so,
0:08:03 – 0:08:17 He must have been in Tehran, the angry to the point of no longer going, with me that was a nice, old, dear man, only grandpa, with whom I also did a lot.
0:08:17 – 0:08:31 That was maybe 20 minutes walk, where we lived apart, so between Datteln and Waltrop, near Dortmund or Recklinghausen, depending on how you see it.
0:08:31 – 0:08:47 And then an uncle died here, so a great uncle, where I had no connection, because I did not know and other people.
0:08:47 – 0:08:56 And then my grandmother, on my mother's side, I must have been in my early 30s, passed away after a long period of dementia.
0:08:56 – 0:09:07 It must be said that I worked in the same nursing home, as a nurse for the elderly, where my grandmother was, so I had often had the opportunity to visit my grandmother,
0:09:07 – 0:09:17 where I could talk to her at the beginning and then there was less and less until there was nothing left.
0:09:17 – 0:09:32 What made my grandma, a fantastic, strong woman, I also mean the other grandma, that was also a power woman, the Markmann women were all great.
0:09:32 – 0:09:42 So my grandma was also over 1.80 and Aunt Helga was also almost 1.90.
0:09:42 – 0:09:59 Other women from the family were so tall, I have here photos from the 1920s, where there are women on it, who are then about one head to one and a half heads larger than the others.
0:09:59 – 0:10:06 But all such strong, taffeta women, so really incredible.
0:10:06 – 0:10:23 My grandmother, you have to say, on her mother's side, she had five daughters and the man died early from pancreatic cancer, which is still a very deadly diagnosis today.
0:10:23 – 0:10:34 And yes, what can I say about this, this woman raised four daughters alone, my mother was so 16, I think, where this happened.
0:10:34 – 0:10:42 My mother is the oldest of the four.
0:10:42 – 0:10:52 How can I say that she has managed so far to have a condominium, a large condominium in which she has lived until the end.
0:10:52 – 0:10:57 Really bad, respect for it.
0:10:57 – 0:11:02 Yes, that's death, I mean, that's final.
0:11:02 – 0:11:07 Of course, all these people live on in my memory and in my heart.
0:11:07 – 0:11:14 And I have now become aware of the days again, how finally our time is here.
0:11:14 – 0:11:23 I mean, with the day of birth, it's clear that we're going to die someday, one sooner, the other later.
0:11:23 – 0:11:43 And even if now the average age is somehow 70 or so, some die very, very early, some have not lived at all and die because they died in their earliest childhood and others would be over 100.
0:11:43 – 0:11:46 It's just an average age.
0:11:46 – 0:11:58 I mean, at times when the average age was somehow less than 30, there were also people who are somehow used to 40, 50, 60, because the child mortality was so high.
0:11:58 – 0:12:05 I could tell now, who knows, what beautiful stories from my childhood or something.
0:12:05 – 0:12:10 Or even such peculiarities.
0:12:10 – 0:12:17 But I don't want to do that because my aunt and uncle have just died.
0:12:17 – 0:12:23 And there are two very special things that have remained in my mind.
0:12:23 – 0:12:36 They built a house and my earliest memory of the two is New Year's Eve 1984 and noe, 83.
0:12:36 – 0:12:38 That was 84.
0:12:38 – 0:12:42 This was the first New Year's Eve where I was allowed to stay awake a little longer.
0:12:42 – 0:12:50 And then we celebrated with them in the old house, what they had rented at that time.
0:12:50 – 0:13:05 And as it was then, you had a module stereo layer, i.e. cassette tape, record player, radio part and then the amplifier.
0:13:05 – 0:13:12 And that looked so great, there were needles that moved like that and lights that blinked.
0:13:12 – 0:13:15 And I wasn't allowed to touch it.
0:13:15 – 0:13:20 It was like I was standing in front of it and then, it was tingling in my fingers.
0:13:20 – 0:13:27 Put your fingers on your back, hands on your back and whistle.
0:13:27 – 0:13:36 Yes, by the way, that has become such a flawed word, against my monkeys, the little monkeys of my mother somehow.
0:13:36 – 0:13:41 So if they want to touch something somewhere, then so, hands on the back and whistle.
0:13:41 – 0:13:44 It's kind of funny, isn't it?
0:13:44 – 0:13:53 And then, there was in the apartment and also in the house later such a huge wooden chest.
0:13:53 – 0:14:01 But now not such a nice box or something, but a real chest, as one imagines from the knight films.
0:14:01 – 0:14:06 With thick wrought iron fittings.
0:14:06 – 0:14:09 I've never figured out what's in there.
0:14:09 – 0:14:17 All I know is that I've always stood in front of it and wondered what's in that treasure chest.
0:14:17 – 0:14:38 Because this is a treasure, as from these knight movies or from the movies with the pirates, where there is a lot of gold in it or diamonds and other jewels, jewels, zapphires, rubies.
0:14:38 – 0:14:43 It's funny what people remember so much.
0:14:43 – 0:14:55 With my grandpa, I always think only of the beautiful garden and the hat he had on and that he smoked cigar.
0:14:55 – 0:15:06 And when we came into the apartment after he was dead and then dissolved the apartment, there was still this cold cigar smell in the air for days.
0:15:06 – 0:15:09 Something I'll never forget.
0:15:09 – 0:15:20 It's remarkable somewhere when you think about what you remember so much about people.
0:15:20 – 0:15:26 With my grandma, on the other hand, I definitely combine cooking.
0:15:26 – 0:15:34 She was a cook by profession and cooked in dates at the children's clinic, since in the kitchen.
0:15:34 – 0:15:46 And firstly she was fast, secondly very modern in the kitchen and did totally so funny things.
0:15:46 – 0:15:57 Fennichel vegetables, most know fennichel only as tea and that was really delicious, because there was such a slightly tomatoy sauce.
0:15:57 – 0:16:12 And then fennichel with a bit of other vegetables and then poultry as meat or completely without meat and pizza with curry spice ketchup on top.
0:16:12 – 0:16:22 I've never tried this because I find the thought very bizarre and disgusting, but my grandma loved it.
0:16:22 – 0:16:27 And roll-overs, roll-overs of biscuits, splash-pastries and other biscuits.
0:16:27 – 0:16:37 They were sometimes still there until June, July or the beginning of August, so that you could eat them for a very long time.
0:16:37 – 0:16:46 What you can also see with me today, by the way, because I am not a child of sadness and am well fed.
0:16:46 – 0:16:53 With my other grandma, when I think about what she cooked, it was this really old, hearty home cooking.
0:16:53 – 0:17:04 When a stew was cold, it wasn't just two or three fat eyes and on it, it was a fat eye and that was thick.
0:17:04 – 0:17:08 It was possible to extract a lot of oil for the first time.
0:17:08 – 0:17:18 With sauces, when they were cold, there was sometimes up to one centimeter thick, the white fat on top.
0:17:18 – 0:17:23 My mother always did that, but it was delicious.
0:17:23 – 0:17:28 But totally different in the kitchen like my other grandma.
0:17:28 – 0:17:32 And buttercream cake.
0:17:32 – 0:17:38 Buttercream cake, that's what my grandma always did back then.
0:17:38 – 0:17:47 It's funny when you think about what you miss so much, what you took for granted.
0:17:47 – 0:17:57 And as a child or before you're really a teenager, you're not so aware that at some point it won't be.
0:17:57 – 0:18:08 Since my grandparents also had a garden, they also cooked a lot, so woke up and cooked rhubarb.
0:18:08 – 0:18:11 And I remember that strawberry rhubarb.
0:18:11 – 0:18:20 Since I can still remember well that I was with my Sankasten buddy, then because you were grandparents and in the garden and there we also played around a bit and so on.
0:18:20 – 0:18:25 And then my grandma got strawberry rhubarb and he didn't know that.
0:18:25 – 0:18:30 And then we ate that and that's what he meant, there's bacon in there.
0:18:30 – 0:18:44 And then it was such a totally boiled strawberry, which are then so extremely soft and glibberig in connection with these rhubarb fibers, which are so in there.
0:18:44 – 0:18:47 And that's all a bit thicker.
0:18:47 – 0:18:50 And then he said, it's weird that there's bacon in there.
0:18:50 – 0:18:54 And then my grandma just said, you're crazy, there's no bacon coming in.
0:18:54 – 0:18:56 Yes, that was so.
0:18:56 – 0:19:06 I don't know what it looks like, but my mother is also seriously ill.
0:19:06 – 0:19:12 She has COPD and asthma and these typical ailments and ailments.
0:19:12 – 0:19:17 I don't know if she's that old, but she turned 70 this year.
0:19:17 – 0:19:22 She also didn't celebrate because of illness, because then she had a cold again.
0:19:22 – 0:19:26 This has been ongoing since the coronavirus era.
0:19:26 – 0:19:32 Or that's the fact, because she also pays a lot of attention to the grandchildren, so on my nerves.
0:19:32 – 0:19:39 One is in elementary school and the other is in kindergarten.
0:19:39 – 0:19:47 Yes, then one is sick, then the other is sick, then the one takes something with him from school or from kindergarten.
0:19:47 – 0:19:50 And who can stop it?
0:19:50 – 0:19:53 The woman with the weakest immune system.
0:19:53 – 0:19:57 I mean, I take care of one of the nephews every now and then.
0:19:57 – 0:20:01 And I get a little gift like that every time.
0:20:01 – 0:20:12 Which you can hear right now, because I've had a cold for a month, two months and so on.
0:20:12 – 0:20:23 Yes, this is such a constant topic with us, somehow constantly catching a cold.
0:20:23 – 0:20:28 Another aunt of mine who had cancer now.
0:20:28 – 0:20:39 First esophageal cancer, small fun fact on the edge, the cancer that many alcoholics get,
0:20:39 – 0:20:49 because they have damaged their mucous membranes so much through alcohol consumption, then associated with smoking.
0:20:49 – 0:20:52 But my aunt has no problem.
0:20:52 – 0:20:58 He hasn't smoked in years and alcohol has never been an issue.
0:20:58 – 0:21:09 And now recently, that was just now, the chemo has been completed and that looked good,
0:21:09 – 0:21:13 But people in the hospital were wondering why the tumor markers didn't go down.
0:21:13 – 0:21:20 And then all of a sudden, she had symptoms of failure in her motor skills, in her arm, in her hand and in her leg.
0:21:20 – 0:21:26 And then it turned out that she still has a second primary tumor in the brain.
0:21:26 – 0:21:34 So not that the tumor has remetastized an esophagus, so it has formed a small daughter ulcer, no.
0:21:34 – 0:21:36 It was a second primary tumor.
0:21:36 – 0:21:39 You have to get it done first.
0:21:39 – 0:21:46 Two different types of tumors in two different areas, i.e. region of the body.
0:21:46 – 0:21:52 It's like a four in the lottery.
0:21:52 – 0:21:56 Just, I think she'd rather have the money, that's the shit.
0:21:56 – 0:22:03 She's having surgery now and she's fine, but chemo is coming soon and she's going to be tough, of course.
0:22:03 – 0:22:09 because of course this is then just high dosed and the irradiation on the head,
0:22:09 – 0:22:17 Or even face-to-face, that's terrible.
0:22:17 – 0:22:25 What with my other aunt, because my favorite aunt is, is just these typical old age things.
0:22:25 – 0:22:34 I mean, she retired early, too, not because she had to, but because she could.
0:22:34 – 0:22:41 Because she has earned her whole professional life so super and just thought,
0:22:41 – 0:22:45 Fuck the few euros, I'm just going to retire.
0:22:45 – 0:22:49 That's what your partner did too.
0:22:49 – 0:22:54 And now they're having a really nice day of life.
0:22:54 – 0:22:58 14 days in Holland, 14 days in Germany.
0:22:58 – 0:23:04 Now they're going on a river cruise.
0:23:04 – 0:23:10 Chapeau, Chapeau. Nice if you can do that.
0:23:10 – 0:23:18 But it is clear to me, one of them, neither my mother nor any of the other aunts,
0:23:18 – 0:23:24 They will die someday until everyone is gone.
0:23:24 – 0:23:30 And then only my sister and I are over and my cousin.
0:23:30 – 0:23:38 And then, I don't know, I mean, I don't have children now, I deliberately decided against a child.
0:23:38 – 0:23:45 Before that, of course, I also tried with partners, but that didn't work out.
0:23:45 – 0:23:50 With one I know that it is also difficult with her,
0:23:50 – 0:23:55 because they have already tried a lot with their new partners
0:23:55 – 0:24:00 It was also in medical treatment.
0:24:00 – 0:24:05 And it didn't work for my last partner, either.
0:24:05 – 0:24:13 But with the new partners, there are at least two children in the world.
0:24:13 – 0:24:22 I know how much she wanted children and even though the breakup wasn't so nice,
0:24:22 – 0:24:29 I'm glad she at least fulfilled her wish.
0:24:29 – 0:24:34 If you want kids like that, that's the way it is.
0:24:34 – 0:24:44 But there we have the arc from death to suffering to the desire to have children.
0:24:44 – 0:24:47 Children are the future.
0:24:47 – 0:24:53 They carry a lot of us with them and now not only in the genetic sense,
0:24:53 – 0:25:00 Because mom and dad unite and then the great miracle of life happens.
0:25:00 – 0:25:12 The Maiose and not Mithose, Maiose, where the cell nuclei merge and then stop the division happens.
0:25:12 – 0:25:17 But they also carry many of us with them, i.e. socio-cultural background,
0:25:17 – 0:25:25 Education, history, where to live, how to live, how to be educated.
0:25:25 – 0:25:32 And I can only knock on wood, even if it wasn't always easy.
0:25:32 – 0:25:36 My parents really did a good job there.
0:25:36 – 0:25:42 And I wrote back then, I'm in the blog post where my dad died,
0:25:42 – 0:25:45 A hero has died.
0:25:45 – 0:25:48 That was my hero, my childhood hero.
0:25:48 – 0:25:53 I feel the same way about my nephews now.
0:25:53 – 0:25:57 You can think about your father whatever you want.
0:25:57 – 0:26:02 For the boys, Dad is the hero.
0:26:02 – 0:26:05 And that was no different for me.
0:26:05 – 0:26:08 My father was a man with mistakes.
0:26:08 – 0:26:11 He couldn't handle money.
0:26:11 – 0:26:16 He wasn't the most neat, but he was my hero.
0:26:16 – 0:26:22 And so it is with my grandmothers.
0:26:22 – 0:26:26 Fantastic women.
0:26:26 – 0:26:34 And I also believe that this is what makes me who I am today.
0:26:34 – 0:26:37 All the people who were in my family,
0:26:37 – 0:26:42 or all the friends of my parents, with whom I had a lot to do,
0:26:42 – 0:26:50 have had an effect or effect on me, on my development.
0:26:50 – 0:26:56 And they almost have me with school and what I have experienced there,
0:26:56 – 0:26:59 Made for what I am today.
0:26:59 – 0:27:03 And that's the legacy we give to our children.
0:27:03 – 0:27:10 I always wanted to be an uncle like my favorite aunt was to me.
0:27:10 – 0:27:14 Or we had children. To my sister, to my cousin.
0:27:14 – 0:27:23 To the cousin's kids, where I know she's doing the same great stuff.
0:27:23 – 0:27:35 Or she has also given gifts or money for Christmas gifts for my nephews.
0:27:35 – 0:27:40 Where she did just as great things as she did with us.
0:27:40 – 0:27:45 I wanted to be such an uncle.
0:27:45 – 0:27:48 With my first nephew, the oldest, I could be
0:27:48 – 0:27:51 Because I was just fitter in terms of health.
0:27:51 – 0:27:55 I had enough money thanks to a job.
0:27:55 – 0:28:00 And thanks to exchange service and weekend shifts,
0:28:00 – 0:28:05 Also free in the week, that I could go then also in the holidays,
0:28:05 – 0:28:12 Just go to the observatory with my nephews and then experience exactly these great moments,
0:28:12 – 0:28:15 Just like I had with my aunt.
0:28:15 – 0:28:17 science.
0:28:17 – 0:28:21 I said yes, my favorite aunt studied chemistry,
0:28:21 – 0:28:24 Like many others in the family.
0:28:24 – 0:28:30 With her I was at the university in Dortmund and hung there also in the laboratories
0:28:30 – 0:28:34 or in one or the other course, lecture,
0:28:34 – 0:28:41 And then I noticed relatively quickly, boy, you want to experience something cool.
0:28:41 – 0:28:49 And I didn't study after my school education,
0:28:49 – 0:28:54 I didn't do that until later.
0:28:54 – 0:29:00 I had just learned a profession and then studied.
0:29:00 – 0:29:06 Then full run, super fast study.
0:29:06 – 0:29:11 And I graduated there, too.
0:29:11 – 0:29:18 I did an apprenticeship again and an apprenticeship again.
0:29:18 – 0:29:24 And then I studied again after the stroke out of sheer boredom.
0:29:24 – 0:29:28 It's also something I've been given.
0:29:28 – 0:29:31 This diversity of interests.
0:29:31 – 0:29:35 You have to imagine if we used to be birthday parties,
0:29:35 – 0:29:40 Then there were academics who all studied chemistry.
0:29:40 – 0:29:45 And then there are mostly people from the medical field,
0:29:45 – 0:29:51 medical assistants, nurses, technical assistants,
0:29:51 – 0:29:56 So x-ray technicians, medical technical assistants, they were all there.
0:29:56 – 0:30:01 And then the only exotic that was there, that was my father.
0:30:01 – 0:30:12 That was Heilunter Erziehungspfleger, truck driver, painter and painter
0:30:12 – 0:30:16 and decompression mechanic.
0:30:16 – 0:30:21 Later he worked as a social worker.
0:30:21 – 0:30:25 And one who studied chemistry with us in the family,
0:30:25 – 0:30:28 He worked as a chemist.
0:30:28 – 0:30:33 One of them worked as a programmer for an insurance company.
0:30:33 – 0:30:43 the other has worked with the garbage management as in the property management.
0:30:43 – 0:30:49 And this diversity of interests and also the job change,
0:30:49 – 0:30:54 It's also something I've been given.
0:30:54 – 0:30:59 The only downside is that I'm highly trained.
0:30:59 – 0:31:02 I'm totally overqualified for a lot of things.
0:31:02 – 0:31:06 I never really paid into the pension fund.
0:31:06 – 0:31:11 And if you get a stroke like that at 40,
0:31:11 – 0:31:15 Then things look really shitty.
0:31:15 – 0:31:24 I had my 40. Birthday and a week later, BAM, reset.
0:31:24 – 0:31:29 And that had been a point in my life,
0:31:29 – 0:31:34 I was 39, not 40.
0:31:34 – 0:31:41 who showed me how valuable and how important this is,
0:31:41 – 0:31:47 I enjoy every second on this earth, on this earth.
0:31:47 – 0:31:50 Because it's just finite.
0:31:50 – 0:31:54 And every time someone dies,
0:31:54 – 0:31:59 who is dear and important to me or who belongs to the family
0:31:59 – 0:32:02 Or is a good friend,
0:32:02 – 0:32:05 Then I remember it again,
0:32:05 – 0:32:12 How I Was Saved In The Hospital In The Emergency Room
0:32:12 – 0:32:16 and could do nothing more.
0:32:16 – 0:32:22 I could speak so badly that I couldn't be understood.
0:32:22 – 0:32:28 And then, like a little child, I had to relearn everything.
0:32:28 – 0:32:32 And I found out in hindsight,
0:32:32 – 0:32:38 How close this stroke was that I survived it.
0:32:38 – 0:32:43 Because he's such a broad brain and a really stupid region,
0:32:43 – 0:32:48 When so much matter dies.
0:32:48 – 0:32:52 That's why you can understand that I have serious problems today.
0:32:52 – 0:32:57 I mean, in combination with my overweight and too little exercise,
0:32:57 – 0:33:01 Because I can't move, too little muscle.
0:33:01 – 0:33:04 And that's a rat's tail.
0:33:04 – 0:33:12 But I'm so glad that I spent another five weeks in neurology,
0:33:12 – 0:33:18 had language training every day, speech therapy,
0:33:18 – 0:33:22 I can speak so clearly again today.
0:33:22 – 0:33:27 And that's real, it's hard work.
0:33:27 – 0:33:32 I also had exercise therapy every other day.
0:33:32 – 0:33:35 And that was so much work.
0:33:35 – 0:33:40 And that just showed how important life is
0:33:40 – 0:33:46 You have to enjoy life to the fullest.
0:33:46 – 0:33:51 Yeah, I think I've said enough here.
0:33:51 – 0:34:00 We've come from death to family stories to life.
0:34:00 – 0:34:05 And I think that's nice, because the Alpha and the Omega,
0:34:05 – 0:34:08 The beginning and the end.
0:34:08 – 0:34:14 And I am absolutely pro-life.
0:34:14 – 0:34:19 Even though there were many phases in my life when I was even depressed
0:34:19 – 0:34:25 If I didn't want to live anymore, I would love to live.
0:34:25 – 0:34:30 And there are so many great things to experience.
0:34:30 – 0:34:37 Even if I have a pinched sciatic nerve
0:34:37 – 0:34:44 Painful lying in bed, in embryonic position
0:34:44 – 0:34:48 I wish the pain was gone.
0:34:48 – 0:34:52 If it shows me clearly,
0:34:52 – 0:35:00 Yes, I live because I'm in such fucking pain.
0:35:00 – 0:35:05 Even then, it's nice to live.
0:35:05 – 0:35:08 Thank you for listening to me
0:35:08 – 0:35:11 Please excuse the laughter.
0:35:11 – 0:35:18 My girlfriend is playing Fortnite right now and it seems funny.
0:35:18 – 0:35:23 So thank you very much and until the next edition of the digression,
0:35:23 – 0:35:29 When it's time again to deviate from the topic occasionally, oh, almost always
0:35:29 – 0:35:34 Tell some stories from my past.
0:35:34 – 0:35:35 Bye bye.
0:35:35 – 0:35:51 [Music]

Description:

Reflections and memories of people and relatives who are no longer with us have a deep emotionality and connection. In thought, we travel to those who were once close to us and honor their memory as we feel their absence in our hearts. Such reflections embody not only the pain of loss, but also the warmth and love that persist long after people have taken their way from us.