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00:00 - 0:00:15
[Music]
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0:00:15 – 0:00:18
Hello and welcome to a new edition of the digression.
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0:00:18 – 0:00:22
Where I like to deviate from the topic.
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0:00:22 – 0:00:27
Pooh, I'm having two issues right now.
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0:00:27 – 0:00:33
For one thing, not to like someone because of their origin.
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0:00:33 – 0:00:41
And the other is when you're in the care of someone,
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0:00:41 – 0:00:45
which you have to put on compression stockings.
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Why do you break the stockings?
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Why? How do I get to that?
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Because I'm sitting here right now, picking this up and sewing my socks together.
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Because I only get a new pair every six months.
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0:01:07 – 0:01:18
And when you put on socks, there are two kinds, those are round and flat knitted socks,
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0:01:18 – 0:01:25
then the worst idea, especially with flat knitted socks, is to do it with strength.
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Because someday the seams will tear. And that happens to me regularly.
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The same goes for socks that I might have for a week.
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And I always wonder why?
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Round knitted socks are not as strong before compression.
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And you don't have to pull so hard.
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0:01:45 – 0:01:50
But you can compensate for that if you have less technology.
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Because that's a tech thing about how to put on the socks.
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0:01:55 – 0:02:00
If you put it on with strength.
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For flat knitted socks, the compression is so high that when two layers are on top of each other from the socks,
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0:02:07 – 0:02:11
If you put them on like this and then stop bit by bit,
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Then it happens that there are two or three layers on top of each other so that they do not loosen,
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0:02:16 – 0:02:22
but that then the own compression leads to the fact that the fabric presses against each other
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0:02:22 – 0:02:30
and that the frictional forces, because the material is relatively coarse, then rub so strongly against each other,
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That it doesn't go so smoothly anymore.
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By the way, this is different with the round knitted ones.
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That's wonderful. But you don't have to use that much force.
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0:02:39 – 0:02:44
And some men, these are especially the men who then think,
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I pull tight and press tight and then I do it.
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Yes, then you can hear the fabric cracking.
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0:02:52 – 0:03:00
And such a few socks sometimes like to cost 500 euros and that the health insurance does not like to prescribe so often
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Or approve, I understand.
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0:03:03 – 0:03:07
Yeah, it's just annoying.
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0:03:07 – 0:03:15
And no matter how many times I say that and I am a certified nurse myself,
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0:03:15 – 0:03:23
You are considered stupid because you yourself are in need of care and that is just annoying.
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But let's get back to the real issue,
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while I keep stuffing my socks together.
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Someone doesn't like it because of its origin.
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There is such an extended friend, no friend, no acquaintance.
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It is peripheral to an acquaintance and due to changed family conditions, former family.
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People who told my girlfriend I don't like you
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I don't like you because you're from Saarland.
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I have had a bad experience with someone from Saarland.
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That's good. That's good to know.
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I've had bad experiences with people in general.
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That's why I don't like people. I once fell a stone on my foot.
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That's why I don't like stones.
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I was once bitten by a dog. That's why I don't like dogs.
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Do you see what I'm trying to get at?
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This logic is so limited and so narrow-minded that I really wonder how intelligent this person actually is.
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Let's call her Miele.
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I don't want to say the names now, that's why I say Miele.
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Miele is a pharmaceutical-technical assistant.
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This is a job where you need a good middle-level education.
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0:05:28 – 0:05:33
Until a few years ago, you had to finance the training yourself.
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0:05:33 – 0:05:43
The training was not exactly cheap, but it can also be the only one to put a catheter in the man.
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I am a certified nurse in geriatric care and have placed catheters there.
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But in women, in men, this has always been done by a urologist.
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Even in a hospital, only specially trained nurses do this.
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In other words, those who are in intensive care or in trauma surgery because they need experience.
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The road is a little longer. Of course, there is also Hans Wurst.
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And then there is another peculiarity, this is the prostate, which is naturally enlarged in the elderly
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and then there is a greater resistance, but also with younger people,
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Having male genital organs is an obstacle.
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With little resistance, but still so.
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You just notice it when you push it in, even if you get it yourself,
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I already got a catheter that you have a resistance there.
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And this is not the only place that is uncomfortable, because there is a slight pressure,
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So no pain or anything, there's a slight pressure.
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I found it unpleasant, even as the lubricant was injected,
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It felt uncomfortable at this point. The rest is easy peasy.
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As long as you don't refer to what a large flushing catheter is called.
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0:07:21 – 0:07:27
But that's what specially trained staff or doctors do.
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0:07:27 – 0:07:32
But no, she can because she's a pharmaceutical technical assistant,
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She also worked in elderly care.
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0:07:35 – 0:07:49
So we are dealing with such a person who is difficult and likes to be more than he is.
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0:07:49 – 0:07:54
I found out that she has a special kicker on my girlfriend,
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0:07:54 – 0:08:04
because she comes from the Saarland and because of the changed family relationship
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I got information from someone I would call narcissistic.
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0:08:12 – 0:08:21
I know that next to Borderline or HDA, on ADHD, this is a very popular diagnosis,
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Diagnosis of suffering from people who are difficult.
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0:08:28 – 0:08:40
In any case, this is so that the person who has the changed family relations,
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has a big problem with my girlfriend because she also suffered from a narcissistic mother
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and, of course, has also recognized all these behaviors in them
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And then let them feel clearly that he is just a pretty asshole.
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I've always found this person a little difficult.
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0:09:12 – 0:09:16
I also got this run-bombing pretty much on the sack.
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If you weren't useful, you just became the opposite of run-bombing.
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0:09:23 – 0:09:27
And it was extremely badly talked about and you were badly done everywhere
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And that affects a lot of my family now, but especially my friends.
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And under this influence Miele made my girlfriend feel extremely,
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that he comes from the Saarland and simply does not like them because they have bad experiences with humans,
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I think that was an ex-partner who came from the Saarland.
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0:09:59 – 0:10:06
I mean, getting involved with a partner who has narcissistic traits and alcohol problems
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Surprisingly, you have a problematic relationship.
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It's somehow their own fault.
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I always think that people who have several children should have so much life experience,
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It's a certain age that you don't fall for something like that.
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0:10:30 – 0:10:37
But as I myself learned in my psychology studies,
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there is simply a group of people who are particularly susceptible to running bombing
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and for the manipulation techniques that someone has in the field of narcissism.
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That's really crass.
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0:11:00 – 0:11:03
I didn't think this was really such a problem.
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But this is actually so far that you pass by each other in silence.
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We all live here in such an enclave of Dortmund.
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This is a small district in itself, which is a bit further away from everything that makes Dortmund so special.
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In fact, it's more rural than big cities.
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There is a grocery store, a kiosk, a drinks market, one or two other shops, but not food.
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So you inevitably cross the path again and again and then you have the problem that you then also see each other.
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But no, that's just skillful, gone away, you just walk quietly, silently past each other.
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It is also the case that the children are even forbidden to talk to someone.
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You have to let it melt on your tongue.
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Until some time ago, I was still useful for her partner, who was a former family member,
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because I also have certain craftsmanship skills, at least knowledge,
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Because I can't do it anymore since my stroke, but just about the theoretical knowledge.
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And as a former electrician, I learned that once.
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That was only in theory, because I never really worked in this profession.
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I actually did more or less so industrial electronics work
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and never really worked as a normal electrician,
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But they are cheaper than industrial electronics and that's why they prefer them.
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Then I was of use, and now that I am no longer of use,
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I have almost no contact anymore.
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The only thing is just about the kids, so about my nephews, if there's anything there
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Or if something needs to be clarified or something like that.
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Because you go shopping and then you see yourself and there you have to talk a word.
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But only with me, so if my girlfriend, my partner is there, then she will be ignored,
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It's just talking to me.
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If you let it melt on your tongue,
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This is an interesting constellation and a dynamic within the family.
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or the extended environment, where I'm really happy that we don't have that anymore
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It's all about family celebrations when it comes to nephews.
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Long story short, I'm really glad that this is so,
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Because I always found this to be extremely exhausting due to these narcissistic traits that were there.
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And also this devaluation and the running bombing, when people, people were important,
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0:14:29 – 0:14:36
because you needed them or even if you didn't groom them as you would like.
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Or if you had said something because the plan you had once grasped, how to do something or what to do
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and this was changed 50 times and then you just had your snout full and did not participate anymore,
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The constant plan has been changed because there is a great new idea or you could do something better.
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Yes, I'm really glad that there is no more interaction, except for children's birthdays or Christmas.
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0:15:10 – 0:15:20
I mean, we're here with us now and I used to make videos on YouTube, where I also talked about something like that.
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Of course, this is not very well received in this special bubble.
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And even if I have often criticized behaviors and have called clear bananas, who it affects,
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There was little feedback, except that there was some malice to the side blows and so on again and again in normal conversation.
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People always forget that I am someone who is blessed with a fantastic memory.
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0:16:02 – 0:16:16
I have already mentioned why I always move my light under the radar.
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0:16:16 – 0:16:26
That I was not literally the situation until the birth of my sister, I had been two,
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I can remember, but I have the content.
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The older I get, the more it is from the emotional level and images to real situations with context and everything.
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0:16:52 – 0:17:10
And that I simply do not forget all this and can consciously retrieve the things or that it comes unintentionally by itself, quasi in desuative states.
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0:17:10 – 0:17:20
What is a desuative state? This is when you, as many people know, drift away from the present into your own fantasy world.
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0:17:20 – 0:17:27
This can be positive, but also negative. Most people like to do this, such a dream trip.
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In my case, this process has become so automated that when I get bored, my brain switches off and I then move somewhere else.
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By the way, if you're underwhelmed at school, it's a really shitty thing if you just can't follow the lessons,
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Because it's boring, because you've been able to do it all for several years.
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And if you are then addressed or something and you simply do not react, because you are completely different, where another situation or again thinks about the substance, which is really interested.
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0:18:10 – 0:18:30
What I wanted to come back to is, it's stupid if you just forget that the other person has these skills and you can almost remember every situation, every conversation from the first meeting until now.
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0:18:30 – 0:18:42
And all the trouble that came with it. When my father died, I was extremely dependent on help.
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0:18:42 – 0:19:00
And that person put so much stress on me that my sister pulled herself out of it and my mother and me almost alone from all the tasks that didn't have to do with death, from my father when it comes to funerals,
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0:19:00 – 0:19:20
But the things I had to do before the move and so on. And that was really shitty, because it was so manipulated that my sister said at some point, she doesn't have a buck on it anymore.
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0:19:20 – 0:19:30
And instead of solving the problem where the problem is, just let me sit in the shit with my mother.
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0:19:30 – 0:19:53
That's cool for me. And that's all that stuff, that's a bunch of injuries and a bunch of shit that happened. But these normal people or even people who have these narcissistic traits forget this and then mean that you then interact completely unbiased and normal with the people.
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0:19:53 – 0:20:08
But I experience all this crap and all this shit and the feelings and all this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over That's, brutally, that's.
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0:20:08 – 0:20:28
In any case, due to the manipulation of the former family member, the Miele, is so that she is at war with my girlfriend.
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0:20:28 – 0:20:48
The two of them never did anything. There was never a conflict situation, never a conflict situation. There were few encounters, all of which were cautious.
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0:20:48 – 0:21:14
My girlfriend, my fiancée, is very diplomatic about this, because she's a careful person, but she's groping. And she has and Miele has stopped, has moved very at a distance.
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0:21:14 – 0:21:21
The problem with this is that you just like to flex with things.
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0:21:21 – 0:21:34
As I said, we live here in such an enclave, which has cheap apartments. And where there are cheap apartments, the environment is not exactly the best now.
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0:21:34 – 0:21:51
And no, it's not Dortmund or Nordstadt, because I have it here in the city center. But it's already the case that as someone who comes from a small town that is well protected, I say, shit, that's fucking antisocial here.
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0:21:51 – 0:22:19
And yes, if I then flex around with my neighbors that I just have an anyway bed, which has cost several thousand euros or that the kitchenette is from the and the company and has also cost several thousand or the sofa comes from some special furniture store, which has also cost several thousand euros,
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0:22:19 – 0:22:46
Then people talk about it. And if you really know the reality behind it, then you just know that this is a ten-year-old kitchen, which is already the second hand, that everything is needed, like bed and sofa, so no new goods and everything already ten, 15 years on the hump.
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0:22:46 – 0:23:02
And accordingly is branded goods, which was once really expensive, but is still old. But you have to flex with it. It's like, "I'm something better, I'm something special."
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0:23:02 – 0:23:30
Honestly, I don't really know why you do this. I don't understand that either. I could also say now, oh, I have a Mercedes in front of the house and at the weekend I always drive with my Rolls Royce or with the Ferrari to the gas station and get the fresh rolls.
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0:23:30 – 0:23:43
Yeah, I could say. But I could also say that I grab my rollator or my wheelchair and go to the bakery around the corner and then get the things.
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0:23:43 – 0:24:02
Or I ask my girlfriend if she does. These are the three options I have. I'd rather go for option two and three. Other people have to flex a bit with things that aren't there.
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0:24:02 – 0:24:22
There have always been situations like this that are totally pointless and just like "I don't like you because you're from Saarland" is just "I have to have the fattest Internet connection, which is possible even though I'm little at home.
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0:24:22 – 0:24:34
I have to have the fattest mobile phone contract with a super flat rate, which is super fast, because I also download such huge amounts of data mobile.
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0:24:34 – 0:25:01
That's always all "I have to flex, flex, flex, but there's nothing behind it." And you just notice that I'm just incomprehensible for the fact that there is this need.
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0:25:01 – 0:25:29
But everything doesn't change the fact that the Miele can simply be manipulated and takes over the negative descriptions of the ex-family member one-on-one, without understanding why this is so and without knowing my girlfriend.
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0:25:29 – 0:25:51
I could give a talk now about why my girlfriend, or rather fiancé, is dangerous, because if she could convincingly demonstrate that the former family member is manipulative and a narcissist,
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0:25:51 – 0:26:10
It could be that you open your eyes to the Miele and then there are consequences. But I could also just say, yes meh, it's like it is.
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0:26:10 – 0:26:24
But that's not enough time now and I honestly don't want to talk about it anymore. I am frustrated with the fact that my socks are broken again and I can sew them again.
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0:26:24 – 0:26:49
I absolutely have to get a new appointment with the dermatologist first, so that I can then go to the special Weden clinic, so that they can give me a prescription for these socks and then in the great hope that the big gracious health insurance approves me that I just get a new pair of socks, because I have broken it again.
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0:26:49 – 0:27:16
Yes, yes. And I like to say, yes, meh, that's nice. These were now two topics that are currently burdening me and bringing me to Weisdut, because the socks are one, but this bubble of the former family member
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0:27:16 – 0:27:45
has such a blatant effect on the family peace with all the gayslighting and the victim blaming and the psycho-terror and the screaming and that come into the best light, even though one already puts unfortunate behaviors in the day,
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0:27:45 – 0:28:12
It is always an issue in our family. And I'm sitting there, watching this and that's like a traffic accident, but it's not a normal traffic accident, but like one at Blues Brothers, the movie where one police car after another gets into this crash accident and the cars are already stacking up, layering up like that.
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0:28:12 – 0:28:32
This is a kind of car accident. And I can only say one thing that this concentrated terror does is not only that my sister is really shitting with it, my mother is shitting with it and even here this is a constant topic.
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0:28:32 – 0:28:53
And yes, this actually has effects on me from the tip of the foot, so from the big toe to the most distant hair, that it really affects me.
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0:28:53 – 0:29:11
Well, now I've been talking strangely for 30 minutes. No one knows exactly what it's all about. You can think of it, but if one of the prokonists hears this, my God, it's bad blood again.
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0:29:11 – 0:29:37
But at some point this has to be said and if you have any ideas or something and you have to think, I have actually studied psychology and understand so many mechanisms behind it, but to experience it yourself is totally different and my God, puke it on you.
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0:29:37 – 0:29:52
Yes, I thank you for listening and look forward to seeing you next time. I hope the next time just something not so cryptic and again with clear statements.
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0:29:52 – 0:30:03
I have a nice list of topics, I am always expanding it and yes, say thank you for listening and until next time. Goodbye, Sasha.
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0:30:03 – 0:30:18
[Music]
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Description:
In this episode, Sascha talks about two topics that are particularly preoccupying and deeply touching him at the moment. On the one hand, it is about the problem of how prejudices based on origin can poison coexistence – be it in the circle of friends or within the family. Sascha sheds light on how narrow-minded views often lead to absurd and unnecessary conflicts. On the other hand, it provides insights into everyday care and the everyday frustrations caused by the handling of compression stockings – from torn stockings to the difficulties of getting a new pair approved. Both topics are linked in an entertaining and thoughtful way, complemented by personal anecdotes and critical reflections. In addition to serious thoughts, there is of course enough space for humorous digressions and the typical biting humor, which makes each episode a special listening experience. An exciting mix of everyday worries, social criticism and small stories that life writes like this.
Topic overview:
- Welcome and introduction
A short introduction to the episode, in which Sascha presents his thoughts and current concerns as usual. - The dilemma with compression stockings
- Why compression stockings break so often.
- Differences between round and flat knitted stockings.
- Everyday frustration in the use and the fight for new stockings.
- Prejudice and its absurdity
- A personal experience: Prejudice based on origin.
- How narrow-minded logic leads to unfair judgments.
- A deeper look at interpersonal conflicts.
- Family Conflicts and Manipulation
- Difficulties within the extended family.
- Manipulative dynamics and the impact on family peace.
- How Toxic Behaviors Lead to Persistent Tensions
- Digressions and reflections
- Humorous and thoughtful leaps of thought.
- Memories of past experiences and their meaning.
- Personal anecdotes that shape everyday life.
- Outlook and Final Word
A look at upcoming topics and the hope for a less cryptic next episode.
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Contributors to this episode
Sascha
Playing time: 0:30:18
Date of admission: 17.08.24
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.
One According to Funk Publication Cartel Production - Where stories are transmitted unmistakably.
Podcast license:
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License
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Author: Sascha Markmann
Sascha Markmann is a creative mind with a moving biography – and a person who has rediscovered life after a stroke. After working as a paramedic and elderly caregiver, Sascha found his way into creative expression. As a blogger, podcaster, musician and visual storyteller, he brings together things that just don't fit at first glance: He combines his keen enthusiasm for technology – from self-hosted servers to electronic music production – with emotional depth and an oblique sense of humor. His contributions are somewhere between borderline, acid basslines and assistance – honestly, directly and with a wink. Guiding principle: “Audio-visual dullness with no usefulness – but perhaps that's why it's so valuable.” View all posts by Sascha Markmann
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