Condition broken

Anyone who has been following me for a long time knows that my health is not always good and that in addition to the physical ailments there are also some things that harm my soul, unfortunately it is so that these two areas sometimes influence each other and that's what today is about.

In addition to all the physical limitations due to the massive overweight of the eating disorder the entire resulting health problems, I also have some construction sites that have to do with my psyche or my soul.

Now it's the case that I've been suffering from extreme psoriasis for a few years now, I'm amazed at how much skin my body can produce within a few hours, so it just trickles down on me like I've been partying a big cocaine party all night.

When I now get psychological stress, this effect intensifies and my mother noticed when we went to bed together the days that I am probably currently extremely losing my dandruff.

And then I thought about it, that she already said the days on the phone, that she would have noticed that I had more scales on a T-shirt and so on.

Since the disease of psoriasis also has a component that reacts to stress and then gets worse, I've been thinking about what might be causing me stress right now.

And yes, there are so many construction sites that I have in the near future again such a few appointments that I have to take notice of making so many phone calls and completions that now, even if I only think of it, I am already frightened and fluffy.

Yes really bad then, if I also have too much stress I get diarrhea and stomach pain on a regular basis, I can then sleep poorly and then I am not well rested.

So you can think that stress does not benefit me in any way, especially psychological stress, because it manifests itself physically and visibly with me.

I also had a conversation the days about others who are affected by Borderline and various other diseases and she also tells me that if they are in acute stressful situations gastrointestinal problems or it also comes to skin reaction.

It was good to learn in one way that others do the same, but it also affects me, because what the body can do to us is no longer normal.

People like me have it hard enough to reconcile or come into harmony with themselves and their body as well as these and then their own body makes their own psyche such a dash through the calculation that you can then concentrate much worse and less on the upcoming tasks.

I have to say that it is something that describes the disease Borderline very well, you are able to solve your problems, but your own body makes this solution a big problem and since it is a big problem, the psyche or physical suffering becomes even bigger and worse.

It is a self-reinforcing cycle that turns faster and faster and has bigger and bigger rashes to the left, to the right, to the top, to the bottom and the longer it runs, the more it beats out and breaks down the more.

Now, if I want to live a self-determined life, I can't see that I don't let such stress be easy at the moment, such appointments, tasks, assignments, errands or even the management of such tasks, these tasks must be done unless I would hand it all over to someone third.

Then I wouldn't have any stress and fewer symptoms but I wouldn't have a self-determined life anymore because I would have given my whole life and all the tasks like self-determination to someone else and that's far from what I want.

I want to decide for myself where I am, what I do and how I spend my money and not have to watch that I always back someone with something signed.

Just the thought of such a thing constricts my stomach and makes it become a lump because this would be absolutely no life I want to live.

So that remains the only option to make the most of the ability to see that I'm working and get the peace and serenity I need to perform these tasks.

This means completing necessary tasks as early as possible so that several tasks are not parallel to each other and so everything reinforces each other.

This is easier said than done but feasible.

How do you deal with such situations or have you had such experiences yourself? Write it in the comments.

Your Sasha

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