Silent Silence 004 DARVO Communication Pattern

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00:00 - 0:00:24 [Music]
0:00:24 – 0:00:27 Hello and welcome to a new edition
0:00:24 – 0:00:32 The quiet silence. I'm Sascha Markmann and I say hello. This podcast format is
0:00:32 – 0:00:44 Yes, psychological issues. It is about behaviors, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, obsessive-compulsive disorders,
0:00:44 – 0:00:56 Borderline narcissists and everything else. Today we want a communication tactic,
0:00:56 – 0:01:09 which is often used in the narcissistic environment or in borderliners, in order to act as a perpetrator of
0:01:09 – 0:01:23 Yes, distract. This is the so-called "Dare for" technique, a communication mechanism.
0:01:23 – 0:01:36 It means denying "denial", attacking "attack" and "reverse" "victim offender".
0:01:36 – 0:01:43 These are the perpetrator-victim reversals.
0:01:43 – 0:01:59 It was created by psychologist Jennifer Floyd. It is almost the guide,
0:01:59 – 0:02:12 how to recognize such communication patterns. And it's a guide to how to recur
0:02:12 – 0:02:24 Patterns that people deal with accusations or criticism when they don't engage in their own behavior
0:02:24 – 0:02:35 You can or want to acknowledge. The first thing we would deny is D-Nay. The mechanism behind it is,
0:02:35 – 0:02:41 Criticism or accusations are categorically rejected. There is no content
0:02:41 – 0:02:50 Controversy instead, but a global "everything is lied to, none of it is true" – psychological
0:02:50 – 0:02:59 a defensive strategy based on the reduction of self-reflection. The technical term for this is
0:02:59 – 0:03:10 The mechanism of denial. The effect of this is as follows. The other person is unsettled,
0:03:10 – 0:03:16 The basis of the discussion is disputed. Outsiders can falter,
0:03:16 – 0:03:24 If she says so clearly, that's all wrong. Maybe there's really nothing wrong with it.
0:03:24 – 0:03:32 For example, this is all freely invented. I have nothing to do with all this stuff.
0:03:32 – 0:03:44 The second phase is attack, the attack, the mechanism behind it. After the deniers
0:03:44 – 0:03:51 Attention is actively directed outwards. Instead of defending themselves, the person
0:03:51 – 0:03:58 critics. Typical means are insult, insinuation, job-damaging claims.
0:03:58 – 0:04:05 Psychologically speaking, this is where projective mechanisms work.
0:04:05 – 0:04:14 Internal insecurities are shifted outwards and others are pushed back.
0:04:14 – 0:04:23 Technical terms such as "ad homine" – attack against the person, not against the thing, i.e. against the
0:04:23 – 0:04:35 utterance, projection or projective externalization. Feelings of guilt are shifted to the outside world.
0:04:35 – 0:04:45 The effect, the discussion shifts from the accusation to the defense of the critics.
0:04:45 – 0:04:58 Emotional escalation is attacked, often reacts with anger, apparently confirming the presentation.
0:04:58 – 0:05:07 An example, your podcast is junk, you're just bubbling and you're living
0:05:07 – 0:05:19 of social fraud. The third phase would be the reverse victim opener, the victim-offender reversal.
0:05:19 – 0:05:26 The mechanism behind this is, after denial and attack, the decisive turn follows.
0:05:26 – 0:05:35 The attacker frames himself or "framed", as they say today, himself as a victim. The
0:05:35 – 0:05:45 Critics as perpetrators. Psychologically, this is a form of cognitive dissonance reduction.
0:05:45 – 0:05:54 One's own aggressive behavior does not fit into one's self-image, so it is reinterpreted.
0:05:54 – 0:06:07 Technical terms in this area victim-offender reversal, English "victim-blaming-reversal", partly
0:06:07 – 0:06:17 Also described as "gaze-lighting-light" because the perception of third parties is distorted.
0:06:17 – 0:06:27 The effect. Outsiders are confused. Who is attacking whom here? They can be sympathetic
0:06:27 – 0:06:36 tilting. People tend to protect the victim. The actual conflict is obscured,
0:06:36 – 0:06:44 responsibility is blurred. An example. I'm the one who bullies here all the time
0:06:44 – 0:06:56 will. They are obsessed with me and report me everywhere. Why is it tactics,
0:06:56 – 0:07:05 Is the communication pattern so effective? Firstly, it is the speed. The sequence often comes
0:07:05 – 0:07:13 Within a few seconds or hours if it's an internet post. Observe
0:07:13 – 0:07:22 - Consumers are surprised - emotional dynamics, denial, anger, victim role
0:07:22 – 0:07:26 create a roller coaster that triggers strong reactions
0:07:26 – 0:07:33 - Narrative control - Whoever uses this communication pattern has
0:07:33 – 0:07:39 short-term meaninglessness, because he plays attacker and victim at the same time
0:07:39 – 0:07:49 Audience effect. Especially on social media, the Davor technique amplifies its effect,
0:07:49 – 0:07:55 Because outsiders often only see fragments and the victim role is stuck at the end.
0:07:55 – 0:08:07 I would definitely like to thank you for your listening and your keen interest in this format. me
0:08:07 – 0:08:14 I hope I've been able to teach you something new and I'd love to see you next.
0:08:14 – 0:08:23 Turn it on if you want to hear about psychological issues.
0:08:23 – 0:08:27 Until then, I say goodbye, your Sasha.
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In this episode of Quiet silence I am talking about a pattern of communication that recurs in conflicts, whether in everyday life, in relationships or in public debate: DARVO.

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender – i.e. Denial, attack, perpetrator-victim reversal.
We look at how this pattern works, why it is so effective, and how it also becomes visible on social media.

Using current examples from Instagram stories, we explain:

How to deny falsehood.Deny),
Why then immediately follows the counterattack (Attack),
and how, in the end, perpetrators and victims exchange roles (Reverse Victim and Offender).

I'll show you which Psychological mechanisms from defensive strategies to projection and cognitive dissonance, and why DARVO is so confusing for outsiders.

At the end there are impulses, how to recognize this pattern without being drawn into the vortex. Because once you understand DARVO, you will discover it again and again in everyday life and online.

Thematic breakdown:

1. introduction

Welcome and introduction to the silent format
Presentation of the topic: DARVO – a communication pattern of psychology and conflict research

2. Origin and definition of DARVO

Origin: Concept by Jennifer Freyd
Meaning: Deny – Attack – Reverse Victim and Offender
Use in narcissistic and borderline conflicts

3. First phase: Deny (denial)

How it works: General rejection of criticism
Psychological term: Defense Mechanism of Denial
Impact: Uncertainty of the counterpart, doubts with outsiders
Example: “It's all made up. I have nothing to do with all this stuff.”

4. Second phase: Attack (attack)

How it works: Focus shift to the outside, direct attacks on critics
Psychological mechanisms: projection, Projective externalisation, ad hominem attack
Impact: Escalation, critics suddenly have to defend themselves
Examples: "Your podcast is rubbish. You only laugh at bullshit.’ / ‘You live off social fraud.’

5. Third phase: Reverse Victim and Offender

How it works: Perpetrators portray themselves as victims, critics are declared perpetrators
Psychological concepts: Cognitive Dissonance Reduction, victim-blaming-reversal, gaslighting light
Impact: Outsiders are confused, sympathies tip in favor of the alleged victim
Example: “I am the one being bullied here all the time. They are obsessed with me.’

6. Why DARVO is so effective

Speed of sequence: Surprise effect
Emotional dynamics: Denial → Anger → Victim role as roller coaster
Narrative control: The perpetrator appears as a victim at the same time.
Audience effect on social media: Fragments get stuck, victim role looks convincing

7. conclusion

DARVO as a powerful but manipulative communication tactic
Important: Recognize patterns so as not to be dragged into the twist
Invitation to rehearse and look ahead to upcoming psychological topics

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Contributors to this episode

Sascha

Number of downloads: 156
Playing time: 0:11:47
Date of admission: 24.08.25
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.

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Author: Sascha Markmann

Sascha Markmann is a creative mind with a moving biography – and a person who has rediscovered life after a stroke. After working as a paramedic and elderly caregiver, Sascha found his way into creative expression. As a blogger, podcaster, musician and visual storyteller, he brings together things that just don't fit at first glance: He combines his keen enthusiasm for technology – from self-hosted servers to electronic music production – with emotional depth and an oblique sense of humor. His contributions are somewhere between borderline, acid basslines and assistance – honestly, directly and with a wink. Guiding principle: “Audio-visual dullness with no usefulness – but perhaps that's why it's so valuable.” View all posts by Sascha Markmann

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Silent Silence 004 DARVO Communication Pattern