Loneliness in the relationship

Is there a feeling of loneliness when you're in a relationship? I think this feeling will have been experienced by one or the other. 

In all the years I've been in a relationship, I've also had periods where that was the case. Although there was a partner, you had the feeling that you were somehow alone. 

Then, of course, questions arise. Why is that so? And why does the partner distance himself from one? Or am I not attractive enough or sexy enough? Or or …. 

This process did not occur overnight. It was more or less a slow process. It started with small things and it always ended with a great feeling of emptiness. 

Well, I'm a borderliner and I know that I'm not always easy and that I have a big close-distance problem. 

There are times when I get too close to my partner. These can be touches that are just so unbearable that I can't stand it. Then there are phases where my partner can still be so close to me and yet it just doesn't feel like he's close to me. 

That's the point where I'm wondering is it a problem of mine that I just have the proximity-distance problem? Or is it really that the partner distances himself a bit from me? 

In my current relationship, I've never had this one. Not that feeling, and not that I'm too close. But this can also be due to the fact that we have a long-distance relationship and we always have time in which we are alone and thus have time for ourselves. Then there is the time we have together. 

In other partnerships where I have lived with people, it was so that after a time I was looking for closeness but the partner somehow turned away from me. Even when we were lying next to each other in bed, there was a huge distance. Not only emotionally, but also physically.

Of course, this also brings with it an emotional problem. Because it doesn't feel good. You don't feel understood at this point. And no matter what you do, somehow it didn't matter to your partner. At least it felt like that. 

Talking about it with your partner during these phases is not easy, of course. Because you would confront the partner, not even somehow with something that you might just feel yourself. Which may not correspond to the fact. 

Everyone knows what it's like to be accused of something you didn't do. You know how difficult it is to explain what you haven't done. 

So you'd rather be silent and try to figure things out with yourself in order to solve the problem. 

Unfortunately, this does not always work very well. 

In the worst case, you sit there, are injured and wonder what just went wrong? Or what is wrong with one that the other reacts the way he reacts. 

However, this is not particularly conducive. And not particularly helpful in the situation. Actually, you should talk about what annoys you. But for the reasons mentioned above, this is not the case. 

I can't give you any advice on how to get out of there. Or how to solve the problem. For me, the relationships were over after a while. 

Of course, I always try to do better, but whether I succeed is the other question. 

Let us return to the core question. Is there solitude in the relationship?

Definitely yes to me! You can almost live side by side, even live side by side, but the feeling that you have togetherness does not come up. 

Have you had such a similar experience? Or what do you think about it. Write it in the comments. I would be very happy about it :). 

Your Sasha

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