Lawnmowers and submarine parents

There are parents who do everything for their child. These are called lawnmower parents. And then there are submarine parents who do almost nothing for their children. And these are also not accessible for schools, kindergartens, etc.

In my day, my parents supported me. Helped me with problems and they went to all the important dates and events. Or in the case of a parents' evening, they went to school and sat down there and listened to what the teacher said. And most of the time there was a clarifying conversation the next morning.

I felt understood, supported and even protected by what my parents did for me.

Until now, I only knew the term “helicopter” parents and found it hard. Almost parents who are always buzzing around their child and try everything possible for the child to get right. But the lawnmower parents are an absolute increase. More than that is not possible, the ultimate maximum.

Lawnmower parents

Let's start with the lawnmower parents. They understand their task as a kind of mission to get the best possible and optimal for the child. This begins in kindergarten. However, if there are problems and disputes with other children, these parents emerge and solve the conflict for their child, and of course this has an impact, because the child does not learn how to solve conflicts independently and always depends on someone doing this for the child or later adults.

Now you imagine this child is an adult or still lives with the parents and is in education or just finished with the education and there are problems with work colleagues or customers, there is no one who solves the problem. No person to clarify the situation for the child. But he has to do it himself and if you have not acquired the skills as a toddler, you have massive problems later as an adult.

Another aspect is also when lawnmowers parents do not show their child that you can also get help yourself. In later life, these children will not be able to take care of their own help when it is needed.

Submarine parents

The other extreme is so-called submarine parents, this behavior is different. Namely, contrary to the lawnmower parents. They are more or less absent or intangible when there are problems at school. You can write letters, you can call, these parents do not appear and do not take responsibility or care for their child. And leave the children on their own. They give the offspring everything they want. Now, of course, one thinks about the background and speculates why the parents behave this way. No matter what backgrounds they are, they do not please the children. On the contrary, they cause lasting harm to the child. A child needs rules and boundaries and a certain emotional stability. So that it can develop into a healthy adult personality.

I think it's a bad thing that you need training or a justification for everything these days, so that you can carry out things of everyday life. How useful would it be if there was a so-called parental driver's license? Because parents are not difficult, good parents, on the other hand, be very, as the proverb so beautifully says.

The right measure

It is therefore important to find the right measure to support the child and at the same time give him space for his own experiences. A healthy education involves the teaching of self-employment and the ability to take responsibility for one's own actions.

My experience shows that my parents have found a good mediocrity. They supported me where it was necessary and at the same time gave me the opportunity to act independently and gain experience. I have learned to resolve my own conflicts and know that I can always rely on my parents when I need help.

However, such education requires a lot of time and attention, and not everyone is able to invest these resources. However, it would be beneficial if there were some kind of parenting license that trains parents in parenting skills and gives them the ability to create a healthy and supportive environment for their children. Ultimately, we should all remember that the goal of parenting is to help children develop into confident and responsible adults.

What do you think about it or what are your experiences? If you would like to write this in the comments, I would be very happy about it.

Your Sasha

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