The Complexity of Relationships: A personal look

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Relationships are a fascinating phenomenon. In the course of my life, I have already had some relationships, be it with my parents or with my sister. These relationships are familiar to all of us, as are relationships with relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles. They are predetermined and we have no choice. But then there are the relationships we can choose – friendships. Friendships are also relationships that are not predetermined. We consciously choose with whom we enter into these relationships. And then there are the relationships that we enter into over the course of our lives, especially romantic relationships, but that's a theme of its own.

I have difficulty maintaining relationships within my family. How should I deal with friendships? As a human being, I don't really have much experience or a sense of how to deal with friendships or family properly. It is especially difficult for me to react appropriately when there is a dispute in a love relationship. I have little to no experience to draw on.

It's rather that I move like a little child in the dark and have no idea how to deal with it. I often can't help but face confrontation, especially when I feel unfairly treated and have no opportunity to justify myself.

I understand the dynamic behind it, that I have little to no idea how to react appropriately from relationships. Dealing with people in general, even those I care about or care about, is incredibly complicated and forceful. After meetings, I am often exhausted and even have to sleep for hours to recover.

In the case of disagreements in a love relationship, it all gets worse. It feels like an ever-repeating nightmare that leaches and exhausts me on so many levels that I fall into a mode that only makes me react instead of taking thoughtful action.

This is not always wise and often has unpleasant consequences that we cannot escape. But it helps to get out of the stressful situation quickly. It is now the case that living together with other people is always a challenge, and if it becomes too much, we must break out of this burdensome situation, no matter how high the price or the damage. The most important thing is to get out of the stressful situation.

The thing that always frightens me is how intense that can be, especially if the partner ticks as much as I do. This can set in motion a spiral of injuries that becomes more and more stressful, and the more violent the reactions, the worse it gets. A spiral of injury and escape.

What can I say about it now? What insights have I gained from many years of this behavior? Honestly, none. I just don't learn from it. Even if I decide to react or act differently, I always fall into this defensive mode and immediately go into confrontation to escape the situation.

It's kind of sad, isn't it?

Your Sasha