Borderline diagnosis: Insights into my emotional universe

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Gain insights into my emotional world as I report on my long journey to borderline diagnosis. Finding a suitable name for what was going on in me was a arduous struggle. But when I finally got the name ‘Borderline“I felt immense relief – I was finally able to tackle this challenge.

Really just depression?

I went to the clinic for a diagnosis. Depressed episode instructed. But the more I dealt with my situation and met other people who also suffered from depression, I realized that there was far more in me than just depression.

There was something bigger, something that affected my mood more profoundly than the depression itself. It was a task in itself to uncover this hidden element and acknowledge that I was far more than just a depression.

The first stays in clinics were accompanied by doubts, some considered my symptoms to be pure imagination. But finally, a psychosomatic rehab brought the final diagnosis: ‘Emotionally unstable personality type Borderline„.

New findings

With this realization, my hospital stays changed completely. I was in a psychiatric facility only once, but this time I felt the difference. Treatment and setting were completely different for people with borderline diagnosis. A rough wind was blowing, but it brought me the possibility of a targeted borderline therapy, the so-called DBT.Dialectical behavioral therapy), closer.

In DBT therapy, I gained a deep understanding of myself. I realized why I work the way I work – or sometimes I don’t. My eyes were opened.
The therapy taught me valuable lessons, especially how to pay better attention to myself, how to listen to my inner feelings. Since then, I have been able to better recognize, explain and name many things in myself. It's amazing how much I've gained from this self-reflection.

Years later still effective

Years later, I still benefit from this therapy. It is amazing how effective it can be if you fully engage with it and apply the techniques learned to cope with pressure and tension.

I used to follow impulsive actions that were often self-harming. Now I pause before I act. A psychologist once explained to me that it is important to make quick decisions in conflict situations in order to emerge as unscathed as possible. But I realized that these quick decisions were often not optimal. Although they took me out of the stressful situation, they often left injuries to other people.

Today, I handle conflicts differently. Thanks to therapy, I have acquired tools to find new ways to free myself from such situations or to avoid them in advance. I am grateful to have been shown these possibilities.

The decision to do this therapy was, in retrospect, one of my best. Since then, my life, mental health and well-being have improved significantly. I have also developed a finer sense of other people’s well-being – not that I hadn’t had it before, but the intense self-reflection has strengthened my empathy.

Load help you, it's worth it

I encourage each of you to engage in such therapy, whether it is the DBT or another that your psychologists or doctors recommend. It could be a life-changing experience.

Do you have any comments or questions? I look forward to reading your comments.

Your Sasha

Links to the blog post:

• Borderline symptoms: Recognising typical signs – NetDoktor.de
• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Mental Health Disorders - MSD Manual Consumer Version
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - DocCheck Flexikon
• Dialectical behavioral therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
• DBT therapy offers