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[Music]
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Hello and welcome to a new edition of the release.
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Where I am wonderful and actually always, well almost always, from the actual topic, what I have planned.
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I'm Sascha Markmann and I say hello.
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Today's topic, which I've been thinking about, I don't even know a title for.
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It's about why I carry my education out very often, not so often,
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It communicates little to no.
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Well, I'll give you a rough outline.
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I was in a regular school for a year and was supposed to repeat the year
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There was also a suspicion that something was wrong with me.
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So I had such a special examination at the health office at the time
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and then it came out that there is a giftedness in me
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Normal schools aren't for me.
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At the beginning of the 1980s, this was never such a huge topic.
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children who have such special needs,
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and great support, unless you live in the big city
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and I lived in the Ruhr area, but not directly in the big city,
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but on the edge of the Ruhr area, rather towards the border Münsterland.
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And one of the social workers who were there said,
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I wonder if my parents have ever heard of Waldorf School.
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And then my father said, yes, there's a co-worker,
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At that time my father worked as a curator and educator,
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in a home for the mentally handicapped,
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and the co-worker of it, the daughter, she would be very enthusiastic about the school.
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Yes, then it was probably discussed internally with the family,
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Schools aren't cheap either.
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and since my mother and father also went to work
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and have earned quite well, one now also talks about a slightly larger amount of money,
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Which you have to pay that way.
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Yes, then I was at Waldorf school, in a class with about 40 people.
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And the interesting thing about the school was,
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that one could not leave the school only with the Abitur,
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but also with a completed vocational training in various areas,
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craftsmanship, as an educator, as a tailor and many other things.
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Yes, there came a time such a guess,
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because I have never really achieved the class goal,
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Maybe I have a dyslexia or something.
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or a dyscalculia, and this was then investigated,
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back then in Wittenherdecke, and there came out, yes, jackpot,
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There is a dyslexia, i.e. a greater weakness in reading and spelling.
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A reading and spelling weakness could be stopped with targeted training
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iron out again, and then you get along better,
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But in dyslexia there is some kind of miswiring.
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Yes, then they had discussed what they could do,
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And then, the class is definitely too big for me,
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and one could not respond to my special needs,
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Then we went to school for a change.
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I went from 5th grade to 6th grade.
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I live in a so-called small class.
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we were a maximum of 14 people, so most of the time we were somehow always around 12,
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Then, after half a year, I had such an aha experience.
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That somehow I'm from my childishly dreamy world
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All of a sudden, everything that was on the table made sense.
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That was in the middle of the math class, and I did the tasks for the weak students,
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then I also made too much boredom the tasks for the strong students,
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Then I helped the poor students.
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Yes, and from there everything was somehow different,
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I had to, except in German or English,
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I don't really do homework because that's what happened to me.
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I don't know, do you know the movie "Phenomen"?
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There's a scene like this where the main actor looks up at the sky like this
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And when he sees the light coming to him, it hits him.
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After that, he has special abilities.
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I had a similar experience in sixth grade.
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It wasn't a light, but it suddenly made "Peng" in my head.
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Yeah, that's how it went.
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I've been wandering through the years,
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and at some point I didn't have to do any homework in German and English myself,
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It was all so easy.
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And yes, high school graduation, that has flown to me so, that was almost gifted,
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And then I did an apprenticeship as an electrician so I could have something.
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Then I studied,
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Then I realized I wanted to work with people.
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I took care of the elderly again.
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Now you have to imagine how it comes,
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that I have learned with my talents and abilities,
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Standing behind the mountain.
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I'll be there someday, you have to be in ninth grade.
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There we have other classes together, so always one year of age,
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School trips or internships.
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So in the Waldorf school you also do with the whole class
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such a kind of work placement or agricultural internship
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or land propagation internship.
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And we always drove with one of the parallel classes.
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And that's the first time I've been heard talking like that.
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I mean, you knew each other a little bit, but not really well,
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I just got a nickname Jesus or Professor.
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and that they had made fun of it,
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about how I write, because there are still a lot of spelling mistakes inside,
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And how I talk.
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Then came, I think it was in the tenth grade,
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We also had certain classes together.
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In the normal schools, one would say, so elective subjects.
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And we didn't have the opportunity to choose,
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'Cause we've been doing one thing for a couple of weeks,
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then a few weeks the other thing, so metal processing,
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practical physics, electronics, carpenters, textile and textile design,
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Tailors and many other things.
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And people have noticed that it just doesn't fit together.
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And I realized that if I don't give away so much of myself
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and shut down a few gears, so from gear 1 to gear 12,
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I have fewer problems because I have fewer ugliness.
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Or, I'd say, there was a lot of bullying.
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Because I've always gotten a lot for doing nothing.
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I was the laziest student, I never did homework
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And if you put that in notes, I've got 1+ written.
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And when a question was asked and no one in the class knew,
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I was asked because the teachers knew.
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He knows.
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Of course, this was also evident in the vocational school.
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They had also been nicknamed Professor relatively quickly.
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because I have had practical physics for several years before
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And we just disassembled electronics circuits, assembled them.
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We have built a computer winter lessons from analog components,
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First in tubes, then out of transistors.
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We killed it ourselves.
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And then I spent three months working on the project and many other things.
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I liked it so much and it was a lot of resentment.
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I was with my classmates and I was already an adult.
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During my studies, it was no different.
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So the classmates just realized,
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I get bored most of the time and have time for nonsense.
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You really don't have to do anything.
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Yes, even as I did the elderly care
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and then all the medical expertise and all the technical terms,
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Latin or ancient Greek, they all fell into my lap,
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I read it once, read it a second time, and then I remembered it.
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My preparation for exams was always like this,
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I read it one night before,
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Which I've never dealt with before, and then I could.
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I wouldn't say now that it's a photographic memory,
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But it is a memory that reproduces content.
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Not literally, but in terms of images, but in terms of content.
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I've always thought of it as cheating.
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For example, my mother didn't see a single graduation from me.
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So by the time I was 18, it had been clear that I had to sign the testimony.
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And then I was able to do it myself and no one has seen it since.
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And even if my special achievements were mentioned
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or I was excellent, it was rather unpleasant for me,
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Because I always felt like I was cheating because I never did anything about it.
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And I also believe that the envy or doubt of others has added to it,
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I'm extremely unsure of what that is.
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The experience of being a dyslexic,
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that I already think differently about problems and find solutions to problems,
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Don't come to the other one at all.
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And by doing so, I am always reduced to the fact that I
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– You can't read and write correctly, but you talk like a professor –
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always reduced to things you do wrong and error measure.
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And I see how many people go through life like this and make fundamental mistakes
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And they don't give a shit.
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For me, it's always a half-collapse when something doesn't work.
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In any case, I think that it has led me to simply
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Put my light very far under the bushel and then don't go peddling with it.
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I'm doing a podcast with other colleagues about music
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And there's been a few hints lately,
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that I stayed out of certain topics and didn't say anything more,
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I have completed my studies in the fields.
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I didn't just study this,
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I had a lot of time after the stroke and had to go through a crisis of meaning.
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And then, out of boredom, I studied a little more.
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I have completed three more courses since then.
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And in any case, although I have a degree in this and the area,
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I didn't say anything about it, and I said,
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that I am careful with what I say and how I say it and when I say what,
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I don't want to be exmatriculated post-human.
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Of course, that was the gag, but taken as a basic opportunity, that's still the fear,
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when I present my true potential and show that I then get problems.
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In my spare time, I sometimes deal with topics,
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I can only really talk about very few people.
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I built a tunnel scanning microscope when I was 16.
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Others only do this when they are in their mid-20s, because they need it for their studies or are researching it.
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With the tunnel scanning microscope you can make atoms visible,
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because you just take advantage of a physical effect that when you use a tip of tungsten,
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where the tip is only one atom in diameter, approaches very close to the test object,
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A stream of tunnels will flow and if you are now able to
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very finely gridded over the test piece to go over it,
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You can measure the tunnel current, the strength and generate an image from it.
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That's what I built back then with amplifier stages and so on,
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Without there being any noise.
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It was an annual work.
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It was a year of work and research.
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That's what I did next to school.
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Had, of course, been a complete success and far above what one is otherwise so accustomed to,
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When students have completed a year's work.
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There are so many things. I once had to build a computer-controlled traffic light system.
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Of course I did that too and craftsmanship was not so perfect now,
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but it was a software and then the headmaster and also the teacher said,
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It's way above what you understand.
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For me, these were just things. I did this on a weekend.
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I built the model for the traffic light system one weekend
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and the software written and the electronics made.
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And that's how it's been so often in my life.
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I did everything on the last pusher and dealt with many other things.
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And yes, you would think that I am particularly successful.
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Quite the contrary.
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Since my stroke and the long period of my training
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I had a disability pension, which is at the level of citizen's money.
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And I'm glad that the citizen's money has been increased,
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Because now I don't pay a radio fee anymore, because I'm pretty much in this area.
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You can see that with the possibilities that are given to us on the way,
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are not always very successful, that this is not promising and you can fail.
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I don't see myself as a failure now because I have no money
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and live a low-level life and depend on support,
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In many ways also financially that I have so much time,
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Now I can focus on the things that interest me.
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And after the stroke I had had so much free time,
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I still have things that interest me.
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And not because I somehow had ambitions, could study and could earn degrees.
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Even at a time when I also have financial independence,
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What other people can only dream of.
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You can see, even if I'm not the super successful person now,
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that I have found my peace, although I am still cautious,
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I want to show my potential or not.
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In fact, it's almost automated for me.
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that I make grammatical mistakes in the pronunciation,
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that I use wrong forms or make mistakes in singular plural,
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In other words, one and the majority and such things.
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This has just crept in as automatism, so as not to stand out.
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These days, if you're someone who's smart and also above average smart,
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then you have the opportunity to be reasonably encouraged.
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In my time it had been, I was about to be sent to a special school for the learning disabled,
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Because I was so bored at school,
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that I have dealt with all sorts of other things,
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Follow them as you count to 10.
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It's unbelievable! And that only so much later the true potential was discovered in me.
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I remember where I was in one of the schools.
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in the vocational college, more precisely to have a drawing copy certified,
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that the teachers I met were happy to see me,
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Because it's a positive example of that.
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If they had known how lazy I was then and I did some homework on the board,
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'Cause I didn't really work things out at home,
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But when it came to mathematics, I could write that on the board.
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It was such a personal conversation with you.
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I've monologued and told you a little bit about it.
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I hope you don't bother me that now I don't know how deviant I am,
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as I like to do otherwise, but this time I stayed there,
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That's because there has to be a change in our education policy.
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Children are not all the same and I don't understand why a child at this and the age
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or even if it is younger, with the number of months and lifetime,
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You have to be able to do that because the average person can.
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But I saw with my nephews that everyone was different
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and one has developed more linguistically and that much faster than the other.
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The other has developed motorically and then, although the other has roared like in the waterfall,
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He was then able to sit on the bike, such a Tretrad, and is thus heated over the gravel road,
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0:23:59 – 0:24:02
As if he had never done anything else.
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0:24:02 – 0:24:12
The other could not, and as individual as the children are, so should education be seen,
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0:24:12 – 0:24:17
because education is not just the blunt memorization of facts and figures,
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0:24:18 – 0:24:24
But also the understanding of what is behind it, why some processes are as they are.
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0:24:24 – 0:24:29
Of course, when I make history, you have to know facts and figures,
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0:24:29 – 0:24:34
But there are also reasons why something has led to something.
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0:24:34 – 0:24:40
The French Revolution didn't just happen, by itself.
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0:24:40 – 0:24:44
There was a story before and
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0:24:44 – 0:24:54
This is also the case with children or young adults.
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0:24:54 – 0:25:07
I was once in an institution during my studies, where it was just about reintegration
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0:25:08 – 0:25:17
I was told that I was speaking differently as I write.
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0:25:17 – 0:25:22
There was a lot of confusion in the college.
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0:25:22 – 0:25:29
I had to explain to myself that I was a dyslexic.
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0:25:30 – 0:25:38
Adults can handle it better than other children.
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0:25:38 – 0:25:46
especially at the age of the adult, in the adolescent years,
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0:25:46 – 0:25:51
where you try to find yourself and compare yourself with others
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0:25:51 – 0:25:59
and everything that is different from normality, strange, you stand out with it extremely
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0:25:59 – 0:26:08
The injury and the time left a strong mark on me.
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0:26:08 – 0:26:13
I saw a documentary a while ago.
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0:26:13 – 0:26:17
about a school for the gifted, which is a boarding school,
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0:26:17 – 0:26:24
where young people, instead of what young people usually do,
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0:26:25 – 0:26:32
Time to kill and do some distracting things,
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0:26:32 – 0:26:39
I really enjoyed dealing with complex issues and having fun with them.
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0:26:39 – 0:26:46
Some have learned Japanese, others have practiced chess,
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0:26:47 – 0:26:54
But then not normal, but already x-trains in advance.
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0:26:54 – 0:27:02
It was done scientifically and that was the first time I thought,
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0:27:02 – 0:27:06
You should have had that back then.
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0:27:06 – 0:27:13
You shouldn't have had that outsider feeling.
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0:27:14 – 0:27:21
Of course, people came to me if they had a problem at school or while studying,
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0:27:21 – 0:27:36
But because of my talent, my curse, I never felt right about it.
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0:27:36 – 0:27:42
Well, on my second round, where I studied, after the stroke,
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0:27:43 – 0:27:45
Much was no longer possible.
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0:27:45 – 0:27:49
I'm mostly hustled around the area with a wheelchair
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0:27:49 – 0:27:54
I studied a lot at home and had little contact with my fellow students.
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0:27:54 – 0:27:59
except for the mandatory events where you have to be present.
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0:27:59 – 0:28:04
That wasn't the issue now.
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0:28:04 – 0:28:09
But at the first study, I had already noticed,
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0:28:10 – 0:28:16
there was partying and doing and so on and I preferred to sit in the lab
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0:28:16 – 0:28:20
I did my research and that led to
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0:28:20 – 0:28:25
that I was finished much faster than my fellow students,
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0:28:25 – 0:28:29
They needed a few more semesters.
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0:28:29 – 0:28:39
Yes, that was really a monologue and I'm a bit split off at the end.
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0:28:39 – 0:28:45
Thank you for listening and I would be glad to hear from you.
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0:28:45 – 0:28:49
If you turn it on again next time,
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0:28:49 – 0:28:56
if it's called "The Digression" or any other format here on the sound radio,
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0:28:56 – 0:28:59
the publication cartel.
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0:28:59 – 0:29:05
Yes, I say thank you and say goodbye, your Sascha.
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0:29:05 – 0:29:21
[Music]
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0:29:21 – 0:29:22
[Music]
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English