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[Music]
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Hello and welcome to a new edition of the digression.
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I am Sascha Markmann and every now and then I deviate from the actual topic.
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Today's topic is heavy, because my fiancé has been in a Facebook group
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Meet someone.
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In the group, it's about mental health problems and he wanted to exchange ideas with her.
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We are my fiancée and I, not a child of sadness.
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We ourselves are fat, obese, overweight, depending on what you want to call it, maybe even fat.
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And then you said, okay, then, yeah, we can have a chat.
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Now you have to say, I once weighed 250 kilos and lost 70 kilos.
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This is a whole person and I still weigh a lot.
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It's not even that easy to get that weight down, because I have to eat and eat.
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If I don't eat, I risk physical harm.
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I know people who have had gastric surgery and they haven't eaten for a while.
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And then they actually got something like nierfen failure or something.
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The history of gastric surgery, I think this is also a good topic for a
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Digression, because I started there and yes, there are a lot of hurdles,
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Which you have to stop.
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I don't understand why other people get this surgery without any problems.
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With me, it's not so easy.
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But I think I'll do that in another issue, discuss what's going on.
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But let's get back to the real issue.
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Subject. This man now writes with my fiancé friend, better half,
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a few days ago and I just thought, okay, yeah, he's got a little bit of his everyday life
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She told me that, too, and one day it always came to me.
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More about food in focus. Then he took pictures of what he ate. And these are
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Incredible amounts and, of course, all high, high calories. I don't want to judge it,
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But what I find so strange is this extreme fixation on food. Because now this is really
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in every message, nice food, then he had been with neighbors and the man is so helpless,
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That he'll get the food. He says he always fed and that makes me so
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stunned, because that's like someone running in a knife laughing with joy, screaming
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It's so broken. So the man is really completely in need of care and I am myself
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They also need care and know what it is like, but to be so broken physically,
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unable to move. I mean, I've got it all by myself
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My stroke. I also had to relearn everything. swallowing, talking, sitting, running,
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how I stop the fine motor skills again on the affected side and and and. And this
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People only talk about food. So even I saw once in the news that came the last days,
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In the evening, there came a photo of a piece of cake, which was as big as what my girlfriend and
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I eat together and those who know me know that I can eat well if I want to. Then it was called
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it, maybe 20 minutes later, that he still has a bar of chocolate on his bed, he will now
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also eat and so about an hour later he still has six Berliners with chocolate cream filling
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Pushed in. So we're really talking about a lot of food. And as he did on Friday
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Neighbours, first had to
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Nursing services come to him.
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Packing a wheelchair so that it can stop
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Neighbours can be picked up who
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Then they took care of him too.
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He also eats food because
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He no longer raises his arms.
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He can lift it because he already has one.
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It was a tough day and it was very
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in the evening, was then supplied there with good food, as he said, and much
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He ate and was later taken home by his neighbors.
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or so, across the street then stop in the apartment.
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And then they put him to bed and then they put him to bed the next day.
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There was still food left over. The bang on the
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History is, his neighbors, who have made since the small celebration, are owners of a gym
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and very well-trained sports people, as he himself said. And what totally shocks me
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was, as he said, that this was so beautiful there, because once again he had people and life
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He saw his life, not his life. And when he makes voice messages,
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That's, you just hear how exhausting breathing is for this person. And I mean,
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It weighs 300 kilos and has a height of 1.65. It really got me, it keeps me busy.
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Actually all the days now, because of course I already have limitations and problems
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In my everyday life and I actually notice every kilo more or less on the scale. I have now
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I'm afraid because of Christmas and so that I just gain a little more weight,
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So that I can lose it again after Christmas or after New Year.
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And I'm far from being able to move so physically now,
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I can do sports. I mean, once butter at the fish, I'm 47 and I've never really been
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I was always overweight, even as a child.
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And then after the stroke and the depression and so on, I just gained weight.
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It's been growing pretty fast.
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There you have to say, there was also my then life partner, who had then stopped
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Take care of your father with your mother.
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He got sick and yes, that wasn't so easy for me, where then for half a month I was almost alone at home.
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And this was not only once, this was the second time in the course of the relationship.
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And every time, of course, I've grown like she wasn't here.
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Yes, I think I've somehow compensated for something, a lack.
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But for me it clicked in my head some time ago.
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And I would really want to change something.
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Of course, such a gastric surgery would only be relatively easier, like me, but
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He is, as I said before, with me at the moment.
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not eligible for authorisation.
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But I will discuss this in another episode.
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Why is it so complicated.
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But you have to imagine,
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The FDH and
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"I'm eating healthy now" and so on.
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It's not so easy because
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I also have an eating disorder.
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Exactly the opposite of
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the eating disorders that you immediately have in your head.
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So there are eating disorders, you eat nothing more or only very little and they become very slim very quickly.
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Or there are stops where you can even be overweight or normal weight or underweight and surrenders after eating.
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There are so many eating disorders that are different, like the ones you immediately have in your head.
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I don't want to open the big debate here,
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Because of the fact that this is all bad and that people always just think,
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When you're fat, it's not mastery.
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I can still remember that my mother had a discussion with her best friend,
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For them, being overweight is not an eating disorder, nor is it a disease. This is
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Simply, you just have to pull yourself together, then you also become slim again. So folks,
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I can tell you one more thing. I eat a bread roll with cheese or sausage for breakfast
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And the other half is, I've got jam on it. Then I have a muesli, homemade
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Muesli. There comes in oatmeal, nutty, then there come in a few nuts, depending on what
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There's hazelnuts, walnuts, peka seeds and all that. And then some fruit, pear, apple,
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Strawberries or berries and yogurt. And so that you still have a bit of knisper, come a few
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Oat flex from Cologne. I haven't found any cheap ones yet. That will stop then
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Infused with a little milk so that the yogurt is not so firm. I'll eat that. If:
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I have to sweeten it a bit, then add a few drops of sweetener and that's good. Yes,
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Yes, that also has its calories and not exactly little, but the food keeps unlikely
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for a long time.
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So when I've eaten that, I'm sure I'm not hungry for six hours, seven hours.
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And then we are already so in time that there is a second meal.
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I know that many think that I know more about what kind of mountains shovel in there and
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There are lots of sweets and so on.
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No, that's not even the case.
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It's actually that I stop
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Calorie-wise, what I'm getting
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and what I consume,
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According to doctors
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I am not in deficit.
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I'm a bit in the positive,
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But I'm kind of sneaking around the point,
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where it is balanced.
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Sometimes over it, sometimes under it, sometimes over it, sometimes under it.
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Just like most people have.
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The problem with me is that I don't move enough.
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Now you'll say yes, then do it.
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Well, I have a rollator for short distances, I have a wheelchair for long distances.
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I don't need to sit down and walk for two hours.
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And just as the paths are here where I live,
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with the wheelchair. You can forget that. I'm having trouble with the rollator.
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Yes, it's not easy for you, but this person really makes me think,
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Because it's all about food. I mean, it's admirable that he's still
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a bank in the office, so quasi in the revision work and since a few hours a week does his job.
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But otherwise, this person has nothing else but food. And if he goes on like that,
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Yes, he will eat himself to death. I thought about those days for myself,
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That this is not an option for me. The reason for my death is that I ate myself dead.
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Because there is nothing else in my life. My life has, even if it's small.
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It is very sad and very uneventful. There are so many beautiful things that don't go with it.
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Food is related. My fiancée, the creative projects I do with her,
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my family, the other people I'm interacting with, whether it's on the internet or
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Or even in real life. That's so much more than just food. Sure, I like to cook,
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Otherwise, I wouldn't have done these cooking livestreams earlier. On TikTok while cooking
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the livestream and then have a nice chat. But one day it will come
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Point where I'm tired. And today, for example, I had the Sunday breakfast. These are
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Two toasts with a fried egg and muesli and really didn't have it until when did I eat it? In order to:
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At 10 a.m., I actually didn't eat a piece of cake until 9 p.m. And this will continue today
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So that was the only one. And this piece of cake isn't a whole Sachert cake now
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Or something like that, just a little piece of apple pie. If you have an apple pie like that,
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halved, then halved again and halved again, so that you have almost such an eighth piece.
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That would have to be an eighth. I don't necessarily think it's huge now. No whipped cream, just for that
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You have a coffee without sugar with hair milk 1,5er?
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All right, you could've said, boy, you could've eaten a salad, too.
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But it's Sunday.
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You know what I mean?
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We don't eat cake every day.
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This is Sunday.
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I also like to eat a piece of cake.
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And others do something else, such an ice cream or something else.
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I'm getting back into this case of justification, I don't want to.
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I really, I'm, I don't just have I'm really thinking a lot about it
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And I've really determined for myself again, I don't want to live like that.
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I was again this month
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with my diabetologist. I had to
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At least twice a year,
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Ideally four times a year and I
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I also go four times a year. If the doctor
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They say the values are so high and
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so on, we can get in
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Six months, and I'll do it.
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Also. But otherwise, I'm really all
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Three months with my diabetologist.
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and then go through the values and so on and the man is just satisfied.
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I have a long-term sugar value under the medication like someone who is just healthy.
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This is really very positive and very pleasing, because it stops the chance or the risk,
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Let's say that the risk of any secondary diseases is extremely minimized.
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But I still have my struggle here and there, because for reasons I have
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Have a psychogenic obesity. This means that I have a mental disorder and
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It's just an eating disorder.
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How do you say so beautifully in the movie?
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Help is Christmas very or a nice gift.
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Christmas is a real feeling.
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There are condoms.
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This time before Christmas is always so difficult,
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because there is an advent coffee drink
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And even if I do that, you don't want to, who knows what kind of salad waffles
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Or present it that way.
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So you go and make waffles, but I'm already trying
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Sugar must be partially replaced by substitutes.
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But to keep the taste the same.
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And many other things.
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I'll give up on whipped cream or other things.
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Toppings that can be done this way.
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But you can't go there and always just give up.
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But I know very well that when I go there and make hot cherries
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and then make cream, a few chocolate sprinkles, a black-yellow cherry wafer or something,
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that the next day this will also be noticeable on my scales,
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The weight goes up. And that's a fucking stupid feeling. I hear from so
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Many young people, especially young women, who always get ready when the weight
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I go upstairs and when I see it that way, I always think that way.
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I live in my body for a day and I live in your body for a day.
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Who has the more relaxed life? Yes, but being fat is in our society
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Top, nasty, mega stigmatized and also branded stop as "they're lazy, they're stupid, they stink".
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There are so many negative terms, they also say narratives that are associated with it.
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And they are all uncontrollable, because if they would only pull themselves together, then they would also become slim.
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It has long been found that there are several factors for this.
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For example, a certain intestinal flora can encourage you to get fat.
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Then the metabolism, i.e. the genetics, which then has effects on the metabolism,
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It can also have an impact.
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And when several factors come together, you really have a problem with one.
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identical calorie support with an identical calorie requirement and also an identical basal metabolic rate.
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The basal metabolic rate is something theoretical.
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This means how many calories or energy does the body need on its own that the stop
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0:21:59 – 0:22:00
It works.
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0:22:00 – 0:22:10
And if you are fat, you alone have the massively increased basal metabolic rate,
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0:22:10 – 0:22:16
That the body works, because it has to be supplied with energy somehow.
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0:22:16 – 0:22:21
So the cells and even the fat cells, everything has to be … and when moving is anyway
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0:22:21 – 0:22:27
Even more consumed, because stop until this is in motion, this mass.
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0:22:27 – 0:22:29
So very simple, very easy to push out.
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0:22:29 – 0:22:43
And if you then have such an increased basal metabolic rate, then you can stop with the same calorie intake
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0:22:43 – 0:22:50
one would lose weight and the other, which has a low basal turnover, would increase,
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0:22:50 – 0:22:52
If he eats more calories.
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0:22:52 – 0:23:00
That plays a role besides the basal turnover. Then stress actually plays a role,
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0:23:00 – 0:23:10
because stress in turn has effects on metabolism and intestinal activity.
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0:23:10 – 0:23:18
Yes, and there are many other factors that make you fat.
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0:23:18 – 0:23:26
And I'm a stress eater. When I'm stressed, I have more appetite. To put it this way.
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0:23:26 – 0:23:36
The last few weeks have been very stressful for me. Many dates, a lot of bullshit and stress in the
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0:23:36 – 0:23:46
Family since the summer. And I'd really like to sit down with a blackboard
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0:23:46 – 0:23:51
Putting chocolates and no
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0:23:51 – 0:23:54
I have feelings of guilt when I do this.
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0:23:54 – 0:23:56
would eat completely. But I know
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0:23:56 – 0:24:00
It's just that it doesn't do me any good and
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0:24:00 – 0:24:03
And then I'm fatter again to do that.
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0:24:03 – 0:24:07
Let's say so. Yes, I know that is
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0:24:07 – 0:24:12
It's an honest podcast, but this one.
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0:24:07 – 0:24:20
Topic has touched me so much, triggered me, I can not put that into words. Failed
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0:24:20 – 0:24:26
Even almost my voice and I get a huge lump in my throat. As I was then
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0:24:26 – 0:24:32
I've been in bed after my stroke and I haven't even
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0:24:32 – 0:24:36
could reasonably express itself without
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0:24:36 – 0:24:40
man "What did they say? Understand this
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I couldn't "communicate."
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0:24:45 – 0:24:48
And then I stop halfway with links then
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I tried to write things down.
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And that you couldn't read that either.
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0:24:52 – 0:24:54
First, because I'm really not good with links.
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0:24:54 – 0:24:58
I can write, and secondly, I am
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0:24:54 – 0:25:24
Legasthenika and yes, also made my spelling mistakes. It was hard, time. And if I imagine that 99 percent of the day this person lies in his bed and continues to break down and then only talks about beautiful food, that's hard to bear for me.
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0:25:24 – 0:25:38
I really wonder how my girlfriend, my fiancé, makes it clear to herself that she can bear it.
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0:25:38 – 0:25:48
One thing is certain, at some point this person won't answer my friend because he died.
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0:25:48 – 0:25:50
And that will be a fucking big problem.
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0:25:50 – 0:25:54
I know this is a really bad word game, but
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0:25:54 – 0:26:02
for people who have listened to me for a long time or read my blog posts, who then
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0:26:02 – 0:26:05
They are also of a private nature,
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0:26:05 – 0:26:08
Know that I'm stopping
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0:26:08 – 0:26:16
instead of going to the Bundeswehr, stop at the German Red Cross had committed me and then also there in the medical service
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0:26:17 – 0:26:24
I did the paramedics and since I also went with the fire brigade on the weekend,
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0:26:24 – 0:26:33
as a paramedic, as a paramedic who knows what this is like when overweight people stop
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0:26:33 – 0:26:36
They need to be rescued from their apartment.
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0:26:36 – 0:26:42
Yeah, that's going to come. They're going to be able to remove some windows and then
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0:26:42 – 0:26:46
Get the body out of the apartment.
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0:26:46 – 0:26:50
Because you don't drag 300 plus kilos through a stairwell.
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0:26:50 – 0:26:57
No, even in the rescue blanket or something, you can't hold it.
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0:26:57 – 0:27:00
Not even with ten men.
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0:27:00 – 0:27:03
I can't even think of that.
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0:27:03 – 0:27:07
This is a big problem, a big problem.
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0:27:07 – 0:27:11
One thing has shown me this thing,
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0:27:11 – 0:27:23
that for me the topic of overweight, my obesity, a really bigger and more complex
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0:27:23 – 0:27:33
The subject was when I admitted it. When my girlfriend got a voice message,
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0:27:33 – 0:27:41
In fact, I don't feel like sucking a sugar-free candy myself. That's something,
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0:27:41 – 0:27:55
Which was totally ruined for me at the time. You can see that I'm also stunned,
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0:27:55 – 0:28:03
But also so affected, because the fate of this person simply does not affect me.
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0:28:03 – 0:28:11
Get out of your head. Similar problems, similarly stored, only severely different effects,
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0:28:11 – 0:28:21
Just violent. Have we lost a lot of ground today? Well, with some explanations,
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0:28:21 – 0:28:31
or I would like to have the one with the gastrointestinal surgery. But well, that's a shoe,
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0:28:31 – 0:28:35
I don't even get dressed now. I would like to thank you for listening and
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0:28:35 – 0:28:40
I would be happy if you would switch on again at the next digression.
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0:28:40 – 0:28:45
Bye bye, Sasha.
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0:28:45 – 0:29:01
[Music]
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Description:
In this episode of divergence Sascha takes us on an honest and touching journey through the complex challenges of obesity and eating disorders. A meeting of his fiancée with a special person in a Facebook group raises questions that go far beyond the physical: How do we define value, quality of life and responsibility? Sascha openly shares his own experiences, struggles and insights – from a stroke to daily confrontations with societal prejudices. This episode invites you to think and shows how deeply personal stories can get under your skin.
Topics Outline:
introduction
- Welcome and presentation of the topic.
- Personal entry: The story of the fiancé and the Facebook group.
- Indication of the connection to one's own life and weight issue.
backstory
- My own experience of being overweight.
- Previous weight (250 kg) and decrease by 70 kg.
- Weight Loss Challenges and Reasons.
- Thoughts about stomach surgeries and hurdles in the process.
The Encounter of the Fiancés
- Contact the person from the Facebook group.
- Description of this person's fixed eating habits.
- Extreme cases: Unimaginable amounts of food and need of care.
- Contrasts: Host as a gym owner.
My own reflections
- Thoughts about your own situation.
- Looking back at the post-stroke period: Relearn basic skills.
- Mental aspects: Stress, eating disorders and their influence.
- Positive aspects of your own life: Family, creative projects and health successes.
Social perspectives
- Stigmatization of overweight.
- Prejudices and social narratives about fat people.
- Scientific evidence on causes (e.g. genetics, intestinal flora, stress).
Personal handling of the topic
- Everyday life with weight and nutrition.
- Nutritional patterns and trying to find balance.
- Challenges arising from social events (e.g. Christmas, Advent).
- Strategies to deal with temptations.
Emotional depth
- Effects of contact with the person on one's own point of view.
- Feelings of sadness and disbelief.
- Conscious decision: I don't want to live like that.
completion
- Conclusion and personal appeal.
- Outlook on upcoming topics (e.g. gastric surgery).
- Give thanks to the listeners and say goodbye.
Advertising:
Contributors to this episode
Sascha
Playing time: 0:29:01
Date of admission: 08.12.24
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.
One According to Funk Publication Cartel Production - Where stories are transmitted unmistakably.
Podcast license:
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License
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