According to Funk Podcast & Blog
Where stories are transmitted unmistakably.
“Afraid of failure as a mother or father with BPS? Specific strategies for emotion regulation and healthy boundaries.”
Can I be a good mother or father with borderline personality disorder?
Many people with borderline (BPS) will ask themselves this question at some point, especially if they already have children or are thinking about starting a family. The fear of one's own failure is often overpowering.
Continue reading ‘Borderline as a parent: The balance between intense emotions and education’“The crisis is often followed by icy self-hatred. This is how you break the spiral of shame and guilt and find your way back into regulation.’
It's a scenario that many of us know all too well. The storm is over. Perhaps it was an intense outburst of anger, a panic reaction from acute fear of loss, or a moment when the internal pressure became so great that self-harming behavior seemed to be the only functioning valve. While in the acute situation the adrenaline rushes and the body works in absolute survival mode, then, when the calm comes in, the inevitable emotional hangover follows.
Continue reading “Managing Shame and Guilt on Borderline: The way out of the darkness after the emotional storm’
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Hallihallo and welcome to a new edition of the digression,
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Sometimes I'm always off topic. I'm Sascha Markmann and say hello.
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Today's topic is one that I haven't understood for many, many years.
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It's something that many of us who are active on the Internet know and people who aren't so
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The internet is active, they know it, but in a different way. And that's so ghosting
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And I'll lock you up, I'll delete you, I'll block you and all this stuff. I'll find that once
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Quite honestly, how am I supposed to say that, stupid, because if I'm honest,
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I have 20 people on Facebook that I've blocked. Maybe it's on Instagram.
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Five. Not a single one on YouTube. And that goes for all platforms. Good,
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I blocked more on TikTok, but that's not up to me, it was the moderators,
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They've blocked people instead of shutting them down. And little funfact, the blocking list is
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TikTok isn't infinite, but it's full at some point, then you can't have people.
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More blocking. That's what we found out. Well, so much for that. In other words, on a large scale
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I only block when people
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I get really annoyed or when I realize that
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Get things out of hand. theme
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parasocial relationships. When we were still
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were really active on TikTok and there
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every night, there were people who
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They also wrote privately and then
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He described all his soul's suffering. And then when we realized, that's going to be too much now,
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that crosses a line and you've tried to solve it in a nice way,
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In fact, some people had to be locked and blocked. So that's my story. me
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I know this in my family, it's also a great thing for some people.
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Once you've said something that people didn't like, you'll
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You're unfollowed on Facebook, blocked on WhatsApp, blocked and so on.
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And that's a real hickhack every time you're good with it.
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All of this has to be done backwards. And I always think like this,
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so what? What I do, I personally, I turn maximum mute. I mean, if I have something
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If I don't want to see someone, I don't need to see it. And when I mute people
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I have switched, then nowhere pops up that there is something coming. It can always
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be in an emergency situation or something else and then you have to
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can contact. Even if you would like to turn around and bite your tongue,
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But sometimes it's just like that. You never know what's going to happen, and it's good to have one.
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has a communication path and not everything is blocked and blocked, because you are just in the moment
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It is evil for a time. And I realize that for some people it's just a
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Totally legitimate means is, instead of cognitively hiding the people who are really radical.
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and hard to block. I mean, it's their right, I don't have to get along with everyone either,
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clear. And with some people I get upset when I get the things displayed.
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But like I said, I can mute people, then I don't see that. Unless, of course,
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I am actively clicking on this person. Yeah, it's just like that. In my past, I have learned
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that if other people have blocked you and you want to inform them of a death,
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It's not so easy to get to these people, it's so easy to get to them.
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You have to contact others just to tell them, "I think your father is dead."
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It's not such a great way to communicate either. But well,
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If the father is dead, then he should know, shouldn't he? So I would already
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I love it even though I'm the black sheep of the family. Or stop,
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who knows where I am in the world, I would like to know if there is anyone,
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Who is my father is dead. I don't know about you, but I think it's good.
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When I hear something like that and don't read it so casually. Yes, so if you
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As you can see, this is problematic in such cases and also in many other cases.
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I always think how small you have to be. But I see it that way too
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other people. There you have Klinsch with the one content creator and then you get blocked. Then
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You go there, you celebrate something somehow, because some counter-attack was good. Zack, you will
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unfriended, blocked and thrown out of groups. And I always think like this,
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so what? Why? What for? It's not something you can't clarify. And this ghosting behavior,
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This is something that leaves such questions. Well, it's not like that now
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What is final is what happens when someone takes their own life and then many questions remain unanswered.
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But if someone gets out of life like that, out of his life, so out of your life and then
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If you don't want to take place anymore, it leaves just as many questions. And that's the bad thing
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of this ghosting behavior. If you let it get so close, it just breaks.
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And I just realized for myself that I'd be better off driving when I go and say,
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So what? I can't change them." So I have people with me who I have my contact book
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I have, where I have switched everything off, that I get there no needy and also no
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Stories are displayed. But they are still somehow tangible. That's what I meant earlier
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with it. So the story with "Your father is dead". But let's get back to the
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Content creators that block you. You're doing something I don't like,
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They say they are blocked. When I do this with all the people who somehow
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created on the Internet, would block them every time they do something,
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What I don't like or like or don't like, I would have a list full of
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People from whom I would no longer be notified. More than 100 content creators
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100 would be locked because everyone always does something that I'm not good at.
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And now there's the passus knackus. This is the place where you have to stop. Because,
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If I don't want to see something, I can avoid having to see it. Good,
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if we are now on the YouTube level or on podcast, which by the way is with audio and
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not with picture, then I can deabonn the one and then the one can do and leave what he wants,
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But I can't take it anymore. I don't see it anymore and I can do that with many people.
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Do other things. I don't have to block them immediately, lock them, just mute them.
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Zack. Courage, mute on the remote control at the TV. I do mute. Zack, off, tone off.
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I mean, you can break your head about why that's the case. I think to myself
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always so, that is, as my podiatrist always says, such a nice term for Morbus cap.
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So a chronic inflammation under the cap, where the celebre sits around. So here these
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A grey mass that scolds the brain. Some people are just like that, they are from the
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Structure is so predisposed. And some can be blunt, so these virtual relationships
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on the Internet. In real life, this is sometimes more difficult, especially if you
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For family reasons, they live closer to each other. So I could already imagine difficult,
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Ignore your sister if you live in a household. Hats off who can. I could
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This is always a maximum of an hour, after which my sister is crazy, because it is too hard when you
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ignored. But hats off, who really goes through this for a few weeks and someone consistently
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Ignored, so mute. But I think it's difficult, just like that,
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if you live in the same district and meet while shopping or something,
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You should be able to exchange a few polite phrases, just like
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"Time", "Weather", "Goodbye", "Have a good time", "Nice trip to the urn" or something. That's what I think
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Yes, that you should get it done, but you can also, if you are longer spatial distance,
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avoid these people completely, then you may only meet the stop at family parties
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And most people get the chance to pull themselves together. We have in
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Christmas is coming up again next time and I already have stomach pain when
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I'm quite honest. I have a stomachache when I think about it. The greatest favor,
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The one I could do would be to have Corona. Definitely corona. 'Cause then I'm
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Get out of this thing first. Then I have a legitimate reason to call these people,
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who are not good for me to avoid. So we're getting along. Otherwise, I have to
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Just bite my tongue and let it pass over me. Whatever not so
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It's simple. But there you can see, so there are so hardships and difficulties. So
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If Content Creator XY ignores me, blocks me or something, then I'm pretty much fine.
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Over my ass. If I really want to know what he's doing, then fake profiles,
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The content you create can be viewed one way or the other. If need be, you go,
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Go in incognito mode. Yeah, that's all. People in reality are more difficult.
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So in real life. In real life, not virtual life. Where did I actually want
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Now on to it? I will never understand people who consistently block. I mean,
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That you make someone quieter or mute them. Yeah, okay, I do too. But completely blocking,
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No. This is just like the point of ex-partners. I have 90 percent of my ex-girlfriend relationship.
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friendly relationship. Then there's five percent, I don't care and five percent,
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I have quite an abomination. Even if she arrived, that person, and would say,
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"You, I need your help," I would help. Even if the relationship and the end
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They were pretty shitty. But this person has no interest in any kind of contact.
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Maybe it's because all the lies would come out. Yes,
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That's difficult. But that's another issue when you're in a relationship.
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I was with a narcissistic person. Then you can tell stories. Wow. But that's again
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another topic. Even this person, this ex-relationship, I have not blocked, but
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She blocked me. And you can just see that I would mute them to the maximum,
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I don't have to look at her shit. But so what? This is not a person,
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Which is more important to me for life. Five years ago, I'd still have the cat on my neck.
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I wish it were much worse six years ago, but now I don't care because
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I think this person is someone else's problem now. So, what do we take with us from this episode?
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There are behaviors that are absolutely unnecessary.
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In my opinion.
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One should just reconsider that if you block everything and everyone around you,
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So not only does it escape or mute, that you may be able to use it for important messages.
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or to make sure that you are simply not informed. How can you do this and
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Tell the person that their father is dead and that they should get in touch with me, that's why
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Something like that happens and happens. So thank you for listening and I would be happy to
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if you are also next time in the digression, where I occasionally from the topic
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It's digressive. Farewell to you!
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In this episode, the divergence This is a behavior that is now part of the standard repertoire on the Internet: Ghosting and Blocking.
“I block you, I delete you, I block you” – many know this reflex, both online and offline. Creators kick you out of the community because you get a comment ‘too honest’. People disappear from your life without saying a word. And in families, it is preferable to switch completely to radio silence instead of uttering an uncomfortable sentence.
I'm talking about it,
In addition, there are the usual digressions:
In the end, it's a simple thought:
Self-protection yes – complete silence at all costs no.
Anyone who blocks everything will eventually block the possibility that things can clear up.
Thank you for listening. If the episode has given you something, I am happy if you share it, comment on it or recommend it – of course without a block list.
Why people prefer to block rather than talk – and what this reflex really says about conflict behaviour.
Which form of distance protects, which destroys – and why complete blockades often create more chaos than solve it.
How parasocial bonds emerge, why creators block so quickly – and how expectations on both sides escalate.
Why some families prefer to remain silent rather than talk – and how dangerous total accessibility gaps can become.
From ‘you are blocked everywhere’ to ‘no one informs you more’ – how radical distance works in real life.
Why Christmas makes old conflicts louder – and why digital distance often has to replace real solutions.
How to set healthy boundaries – and from when distance only hurts, instead of protecting.
Avoidance, overburdening, attachment styles, need for control – ghosting rarely arises from strength.
Trust erodes, misunderstandings arise, relationships become desolate – and loneliness grows with every block list.
Why small, low-threshold steps do more than big gestures – and why accessibility is not a risk but an opportunity.
Ghosting is convenient, but rarely a way out.
Those who communicate may lose – those who remain silent will surely lose.
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“How invisible needs arise, why they can make you sick – and what people and families can concretely change today”
Sometimes an entire family revolves around the ‘child in crisis’. The other child – often the calmer one – endures, works, puts back their own needs and becomes simply invisible for years. This article explains the mechanics behind this dynamic, shows typical roles (‘Lost Child’, Parentification, “Identified Patient”) and connects them to your own experience: a sister in permanent focus, you yourself silent for decades so that ‘no one has an extra burden’ – until it became a pattern that hurts. At the same time, we use insights from the linked blog text ‘You neglect me’, in which a mother takes the overlooked child’s perspective seriously and names responsibility. Letters to Z.
Continue reading ‘When attention is always with you …’"Self-love wonders what there is to love." Manfred Hinrich (1926 – 2015), Dr. phil., German philosopher, philologist, teacher, journalist, children's song author, aphorist and writer
Reading time
In a video of Jenny's strange world, which was made some time ago, the question arose as to her self-love at the moment. I took this opportunity to see how I feel about self-love.
Continue reading ‘‘Self-love’’
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Hello and welcome to the run of
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channel or in the according to funk blog or in the
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According to podcast
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Today's topic is
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even love
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So I love myself
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different
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Experience points made and
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I wanted to do it with you or with you.
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speak
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I have
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in my past
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with self-love
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sometimes more and sometimes less to do
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I would say so until the middle of my
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I wasn't like that in my twenties.
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Really aware that the concept of
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Self-love gives why I also lived
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Let's just
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that was
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okay me
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That's how I did my things.
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okay too
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and
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Then at some point
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Observe
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And good advice from one of them.
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girlfriend
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My co-worker who
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Later to a very good friend.
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was
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What's wrong with me is that I
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Go to the doctor and there
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came out of safety
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Have a proper depression
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and
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Maybe another
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Personality disorder
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What Happens Over the Years
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I had confirmed that I had a
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Recurrent, therefore, a recurring
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Depression has
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And it still accompanies me to this day.
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There are always phases
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My life where I hold
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More or less not at all
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efficient bin
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yeah
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And then there are the
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Borderline personality disorder
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I have this on my blog
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or my videos again and again something
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I have promised and I have also claimed
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that it is not so the case that is
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that I do this so that I don't
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would
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Long story short in the context of
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I have hold
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You can see it or learn it.
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There is such a thing as self-love
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What is love itself
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Self-love is something you
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could be rewritten in such a way that
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Appreciate that you have things in yourself.
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finds the
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man himself
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mag
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or
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himself in the whole
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Acknowledge and be aware of it
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That all that you represent yourself
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Similar to how outwardly I mean
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that you are a good person is nice to
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Many a friendly helpful
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Man is that you can sing well
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Dancing that you can do something well
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or
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because it had what weak man and
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This stops as
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It does not feel normal as
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you can't exaggerate you can't
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You can't have it, it's okay
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that I can't do that I can
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something else good
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and
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This is already the extended
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Concept of self-love but basically
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You have heard everything about it
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You have to let it sack you first
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I
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I really didn't know for a long time
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that what I have in
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Various sessions with therapists
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Now that's the psychiatrist psychologist.
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Or with patients in
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Talking in the middle of Berlin
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I think it helped as
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Professionally competent person
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Learned and found out that it
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Normal is that's good stuff Bonds
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There are things there for one
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The ones that make me positive
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And the other one is valued.
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It's like I'm still today
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I have to learn again that I speak well.
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I can make my voice pleasant.
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As you can hear I'm different
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Because I agree with that
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Hear how you feel when you have a
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Voice hold I hear my body going
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Of course I also sound the bone
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My voice is the most important thing
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Classic for me as for you and me
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I really had to learn first.
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accepting
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What I hear is so unfamiliar
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It was for me when I took my shots.
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Higher be it now potsdam podcast or
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Even videos, that's the voice.
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Do you feel comfortable, or do you feel comfortable?
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The way I talk is pleasant.
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I had to accept that first
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That was so, and then I could say yes.
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You can do that if there are so many
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People say, 'You like to hear this.
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I heard from a listener
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Get an e-mail in a yes
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A private message
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on twitter she told me through higher
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I love to fall asleep and do it
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continue please continue
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and if I go now and that
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Accept that this is so I can
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also assume yes you can do something that is
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It's good for other people then.
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Rolling Importantly
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That's how I had to accept
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but I'm now an attempt to say
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boy you can
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It's like my girlfriend is too.
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on tik tok screens and I often
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It was in the background and
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Show me less, but that's it.
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always so oh listen there's the voice
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in the background
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Glad he's back and yes.
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I'm glad people are looking forward to it.
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that I'm in it you have to be
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I am pleased that
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Others are happy that I'm here
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great
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And that's just these little things.
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They prefer to be themselves
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Just like every now and then
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Do something good
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If I go now and say
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Buy me a new microphone that has
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I'm good now that I already have
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A little longer, but it's always
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There's something else I've got
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Well done, there's a long time
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I was saved and then I was able to
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Buying a good microphone isn't
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Know How Expensive
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$100 but I've got something.
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Well done because that's for me.
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Hobbies, and I'm pretty much myself.
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Rewarded, and that's a small one.
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Part of self-love
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yeah
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So when you think about it,
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You couldn't solve it any other way.
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and go there and cheap also sometimes nice
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It was a great thing to do or
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Make a new hairstyle
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Try a new hair color
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There are so many things
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You can formally do something about yourself.
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to prove again and to show that
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you have it who has it
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this and so sometimes small things
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Sometimes very simple things and even
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Not even that hard to make
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But there is always such a thing
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Acceptance of the fact that I am a human being
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I am that I have strengths weakening
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such a kind of radical apps acceptance
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That sounds good or not.
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that you also have to sack a bit
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let
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I am now the professional
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Psychologist or career choice counselor
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as
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Life coach I'm just a guy
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He speaks so from his experience.
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I remember my first years
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apologies
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Due to the fact that I also
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I don't have any bullying experience.
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I especially liked it and I
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Even hated as loved
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It's always something you mean
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live to play strongly and also a
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I have a strong feeling in me
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This makes me very insecure with
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Strangers are situations in which I
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You don't have to know but
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it is as it is
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You grow with your tasks and you
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Learn about it
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I can do much better today
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is to say
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you are female and all great you
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have many problems many mistakes but in
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Some things you're really good at and
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That's why I love you
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I like my voice now.
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The voice I'm talking to now
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It's different for me at this moment.
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Hear and
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later when editing again completely
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It sounds different and
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that's okay me
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I know I can do that
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And I can only give you the tip
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Looking for something
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What you have fun with and
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Do this and if you have a positive
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Feedback gets it
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and at some point accept that you
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You can do that and it's been good since then.
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This is my little tip for you.
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Thank you for hearing and
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even see and tell you your sasha
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Until next time.
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Audio part of the LautFunk videos as podcast
In a video of Jenny's strange world, which was made some time ago, the question arose as to her self-love at the moment. I took this opportunity to see how I feel about self-love.
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