introduction
What is Dissociation?
dissociation It is a state in which people feel disconnected from their surroundings or feelings. This phenomenon can occur quite suddenly and often causes great discomfort. Sometimes it feels like living in a dream or the world is becoming ‘fake’ – one’s own self can fade into the background or one feels like an observer of one’s life rather than actively participating.
An example from everyday life
Imagine you are sitting in a room full of people. You talk, laugh and actually feel quite comfortable. Suddenly you realize that you feel like you're in another world. You see the others, you hear them talking – but somehow everything seems far away and strangely unreal. You feel like you're not there right, even though your body is still present. This feeling can be very frightening for those affected and they often wonder if there is ‘something wrong’ with them.
Dissociative states can last for a short time or persist for longer periods of time. They are often a result of stress, trauma or internal conflict. But what exactly is behind it? How does dissociation still manifest itself, what triggers exist and how can one learn to deal with them? I would like to answer these and other questions in this blog.
What exactly does dissociation mean?
To understand dissociation well, it helps to take a closer look at the term. ‘Dissociation’ comes from Latin and means ‘separation’ or ‘disconnection’. In the psychological context, it is said that certain psychic processes that normally work together in an integrated way (such as perception, memory and emotion) suddenly appear separately from each other.
While we usually have a relatively unified experience of ourselves and the world in everyday life, it can happen in a dissociative state that we no longer feel feelings, sensory impressions or memories as belonging together. Often it feels like we are stepping out of ourselves and just passively observing the moment. Other sufferers describe that they hardly feel themselves or feel a great emotional numbness.
Forms and spectrum of dissociative experiences
Dissociation is not a clearly defined phenomenon that every human being experiences identically. Rather, there is a spectrum of different forms and degrees of severity:
- Depersonalisation: Those affected feel alienated from their own body or identity. It can happen that you look in the mirror and do not recognize yourself or that you perceive your own thoughts and feelings as foreign.
- Derealisation: The outside world seems strangely unreal or strange, as if you were in a dream. You may see everything as if through a veil or feel the environment as distorted and lifeless.
- dissociative amnesia: Memory gaps are a common sign of dissociative processes. Stress or traumatic experiences can lead to memories being ‘split off’ and no longer retrievable.
- Changes in identity: In particularly pronounced cases, dissociation can even lead to different states of identity, in which those affected ‘transform’ into completely different persons and then do not remember them.
These different manifestations can occur individually or in combination. The intensity also varies: For some people, these are short, fleeting moments that pass quickly, while others are stuck in longer episodes and severely restricted in their everyday lives.
Symptoms: How do I recognize a dissociation?
1. Memory gaps and memory problems
A very typical sign that dissociation could be at play is the appearance of memory gaps. These are not everyday forgetfulness, such as the laying of the key, but larger periods of time in which consciousness was seemingly turned off. The person concerned cannot remember certain situations or conversations at all or only fragmentarily.
Some describe it as if the CV suddenly lacks entire chapters. Often this phenomenon occurs in conjunction with traumatic experiences, because the psychic mechanism tries to protect the consciousness from painful memories.
2. Feeling of unreality and alienation
Many sufferers report a strong sense of unreality (Derealisation). People, objects or the environment seem strangely fake. Perception can appear distorted, colors are paler or tones arrive as filtered by cotton wool. These experiences can also affect the experience of one's own person, which is called depersonalization.
Here you can feel as if you are ‘disembodied’, as if you are standing next to yourself or as if someone else is controlling the body. These experiences are extremely disturbing because they challenge the basic sense of security and identity.
3. Emotional numbness
Another symptom of dissociative states is the feeling of being able to perceive no or only very weakened emotions. While others laugh, cry or get angry, those affected often feel empty inside. This emotional numbness can be a protective mechanism that the psyche activates in stressful or dangerous situations.
At the same time, however, this numbness leads to an inner distance, which can also make contact with close people more difficult. Outsiders sometimes perceive people in dissociative states as ‘cold’ or ‘absent’, which in turn can increase social isolation.
4. Physical symptoms
Dissociation can also be physically noticeable. Some people report dizziness, lightheadedness, or the feeling of being able to pass out at any time. Others feel a tingling sensation in the limbs or can no longer feel the body properly.
In addition, there are sometimes headaches, nausea or a general feeling of exhaustion. Since the psyche and the body are closely connected, strong emotional stresses can be expressed in a variety of physical symptoms.

Typical triggers for dissociation
1. Stress and overload
Probably the most common causes of dissociative states are in situations of excessive stress. When the brain is faced with a problem that it can no longer adequately cope with, it can lead to a kind of ‘emergency shutdown’. This is expressed in the form of dissociation.
This can happen, for example, in the event of extreme pressure to perform at school, at university or at the workplace. Bullying or social isolation can also be such sources of stress. In some people, dissociation occurs when they have to focus heavily and at the same time pass emotional stress, for example during exams or important presentations.
2. Trauma and abuse
Dissociation is often associated with traumatic experiences. These include physical, mental or sexual violence, serious accidents, natural disasters or other serious events that permanently shake the sense of security. In such cases, dissociation serves as a survival mechanism: Those affected ‘split off’ what they have experienced in order not to have to feel the severe pain and fears in full force.
This protective mechanism can be very helpful in the short term, as it makes it possible to survive a threatening situation without breaking internally. In the long term, however, it can lead to problems if the dissociative states reappear uncontrollably and severely affect the quality of life.
3. Internal conflicts
Internal conflicts, such as the feeling of acting against one's own values or having fallen into an unbearable situation in other ways, can also trigger dissociations. Those who constantly rub themselves between conflicting requirements can develop the feeling that they can no longer withstand the pressure.
In such moments, the psyche reacts with withdrawal: Dissociation occurs and creates an inner distance that makes it possible to temporarily hide seemingly incompatible requirements. Although this can relieve the burden in the short term, it rarely leads to a real solution.
4. Certain personality structures
Also, certain personality traits and previous experiences can increase the likelihood of experiencing dissociative states. People who have a strong capacity for imagination or are highly receptive to external stimuli may be at higher risk of getting lost in ‘daydreams’ or unreal states.
In addition, some studies suggest that genetic and neurobiological factors may play a role. Overall, however, everyone can dissociate in principle if the stress or trauma burden is strong enough.
Ways to cope: Therapy approaches and practical exercises
1. Psychotherapeutic treatment
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
EMDR is a form of therapy that is mainly used in trauma treatment. In this method, the person concerned is instructed to remember the distressing event or condition while at the same time performing certain eye movements (for example, following the therapist's finger from left to right).
Through this form of stimulation, traumatic memories are to be processed and relieved. EMDR has been shown to be extremely helpful in many people in resolving or mitigating the link between distressing memories and dissociative states.
DBT (Dialectical behavioral therapy)
Originally developed specifically for people with borderline personality disorder, DBT is now also used for other mental disorders characterised by dysfunctional behavioural patterns, including severe dissociation.
In the DBT, those affected learn to better regulate their emotions and to develop a mindful approach to themselves and their environment. Various modules such as mindfulness, stress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal skills should help to find a healthier way of dealing with difficult situations and thus prevent dissociation.
Other forms of therapy
In addition to EMDR and DBT, other methods such as cognitive Behavioral therapy (KVT), depth psychology Approaches or schema therapy may be helpful. It is important that the therapist has experience in dealing with dissociative symptoms and that a trusting atmosphere is created.
Since dissociation is often associated with trauma and highly sensitive issues, experts are needed to take a cautious approach in order to work out the underlying causes together with those affected. A good therapist-patient relationship is therefore crucial.
2. Practical exercises and tips for grounding
In addition to professional help, there are also some everyday strategies to mitigate or prevent the feeling of dissociation. These methods are particularly useful when one begins to ‘decouple’ or feels first signs such as drowsiness and alienation.
Earthing exercises
- Feeling the body: Place a hand on your forearm or grab your upper arm lightly. Feel the touch, the temperature of your hand, and focus on this being your body.
- Activate five senses: Actively look around and in your mind, name five things you see, four things you hear, three things you can smell or taste, and two things you can feel (e.g. the pressure of your feet on the floor).
- Use cool items: Hold a cold object, such as a refrigerated battery, a cold glass of water, or an ice cube. Focus entirely on the feeling of cold. This strong sensory irritation can help get you back into the here and now.
Breathing techniques
Mindfulness exercises
3. Social environment and self-care
Looking for an exchange
Dissociation can be very unsettling, especially if you don't know what's happening right now. An understanding social environment can be worth gold here. Talk to familiar people or exchange ideas in self-help groups. Knowing that you are not alone and understood often contributes to calming down and can alleviate the feeling of isolation.
Establishing self-care
In order to prevent dissociative states or to better intercept them, it is important to regularly build up resources and actively take care of one's own well-being. These include:
- Regular breaks in everyday life and a balanced work-rest ratio.
- Sufficient sleep, to regenerate body and mind.
- Balanced diet, It provides the body with important nutrients.
- Movement and sport, because physical activity releases endorphins and improves body feeling.
- Creative breaks (Painting, making music, writing) to express feelings that may not be put into words.
Those who have learned to take good care of themselves also develop more resilience to stressful or potentially traumatic situations.
- Body scan: Lie down comfortably or sit upright in a chair. Close your eyes and walk mentally from head to toe through your body. Perceive each spot without judging, and try to consciously release tension.
- Focus on everyday activities: Whether you're washing, walking or brushing your teeth, focus your full attention on the activity. Perceive colors, smells, tastes and touches. This ‘being in the moment’ raises awareness of reality.
- 4-7-8 method: Take a deep breath through your nose and count to four. Hold your breath while you count to seven. Then slowly exhale through your mouth as you count to eight. Repeat this exercise a few times until you realize that you are getting a little calmer.
- Abdominal breathing: Place your hand on your belly, breathe in slowly and deeply, and feel your belly lift. Breathe out slowly as you feel your belly lower again. Focus on that rhythm.
Limitations of self-help and the path to professional support
Dissociation is often a symptom of a deeper injury, whether from one-time traumatic events or from chronic stress. In many cases, a complete reappraisal of these causes requires therapeutic support. psychotherapistInside or psychiatristThey can make a well-founded diagnosis, assess the severity and develop a suitable treatment plan together with those affected.
If you find yourself "decoupling" more and more often, have no control over your reactions or suffer greatly from your everyday life, you should not hesitate to seek professional help. Especially with complex traumas, severe depression or fears, it can be vital to get support.

What happens in therapy?
When working with dissociative states, a multi-stage approach is usually followed:
- Stabilisation phase
First of all, it is about building security and stability in the here and now. The therapist will work with you to reduce acutely distressing symptoms, for example by practicing grounding and mindfulness exercises together. Depending on the situation, this phase can take a few weeks to months and should give you the necessary stability to cope with later, deeper processes. - Trauma confrontation and processing
The next stage is to carefully process traumatic memories. Methods such as EMDR or imaginative methods (for example, working with inner images) can help to integrate and attenuate what has been experienced so that it no longer leads to constant dissociation. This procedure is often strenuous and can tear open old wounds. Therefore, at this stage, a lot of emphasis is placed on sufficient resources and breaks. In addition, a trusting relationship with the therapist is essential so that you feel safe enough to get involved in the process. - Integration and realignment
After the stressful memories have been processed step by step, it is about integration into everyday life. Here, you may want to define new life goals or reshape your relationships and identity. Dissociation as a defense mechanism then occurs less and less frequently over time, as you have learned to deal more constructively with stress and memories.
Dealing with setbacks
On the path of coping with dissociation, setbacks can occur again and again. Perhaps suddenly a strong sense of alienation reappears, even though you thought you had already made great progress. Here it is important to know: Healing is not a linear process.
Regressions are often part of it and are not a sign that all previous work was in vain. Rather, they show that aspects are still open that need your attention. With more experience, you can learn to recognize such setbacks faster, understand them, and calm yourself down. In this way, you will become more and more competent in dealing with yourself.
Strengthen self-esteem and identity
Dissociation is often accompanied by a crippled self-esteem or an insecure identity. If you don't feel right anymore, it can be difficult to develop a stable feeling for yourself. Therefore, in parallel to symptomatic treatment, it is worthwhile to work specifically on self-esteem and one's own identity.
- Resource diary: Write down at least three things every day that you have succeeded in or are grateful for. This not only strengthens your focus on the positive, but also reminds you of your abilities.
- Values and objectives: Clearly define what values are important to you (e.g. honesty, compassion, creativity) and what goals you strive for in different areas of life. This gives you a red thread to follow when you ‘lost’ again.
- Body work: Methods such as yoga, tai chi, qi gong or dance therapy can help to improve the body feeling and to perceive oneself as a whole again. Through regular exercise, the body is increasingly experienced as a safe anchor.
What Family and Friends Can Do
If a close person suffers from dissociation, this can also be very disturbing for the environment. Questions arise such as: ‘Why does she react so strangely?’ or ‘What can I do to help?’.
- Inform yourself: The better you understand what dissociation is, the better you can respond appropriately. Read books, articles, or talk to professionals to gain solid knowledge.
- Be patient: Dissociation is often a protective mechanism that cannot simply be switched off at the touch of a button. Show understanding and avoid phrases such as ‘Get together!’ – this ignores the deep cause behind this condition.
- Offer support: Ask if you can do something for the affected person in an acute situation. Sometimes it is enough to be there for a moment, to hold a hand or to offer a soothing voice. It may also help to do a grounding exercise together.
- Maintaining Your Own Boundaries: Especially if you are emotionally involved, it can be stressful to provide lasting support. Therefore, pay attention to your own needs and, if necessary, seek professional help.
Conclusion and outlook
Dissociation is more than just a short ‘switch off’: It can be a profound experience that massively affects everyday life. It often points to unprocessed conflicts, traumatic experiences or extreme stressful situations. However, the good news is: There are effective therapies and strategies to deal with dissociation and get it under control in the long term.
Key points summarised:
- Dissociation can manifest itself through memory gaps, the feeling of unreality, or emotional numbness.
- Frequent triggers are traumatic experiences, but also persistent stress or internal conflicts.
- Therapeutic offers such as EMDR, DBT and other procedures can help to work out the causes and find ways out of dissociation.
- Grounding and mindfulness exercises are well suited to return to the here and now in acute situations.
- Professional support is often necessary, especially if the dissociations are strong and long-lasting.
Don't be afraid to seek help: Especially if you feel that your everyday life is severely restricted or you are struggling with violent memories or feelings. There are specialized therapistsInside, psychologistinside and counseling centres that can accompany you on your way.
Contact points and professional support
If you feel burdened by dissociation states or have someone around you struggling with it, you can contact:
- Psychotherapeutic practices: Make sure that the specialist has experience in trauma therapy or dealing with dissociative disorders.
- Clinics for Psychosomatics or Psychiatry: Many clinics have specialized trauma departments.
- Counselling centres: Depending on the region, there are counselling centres for victims of violence, sexual abuse or general crisis counselling centres. There they can provide you with targeted contacts and first psychological help.
- Self-help groups: Here you will find people with similar experiences. The exchange can be very relieving and provide practical tips for everyday life.
Remember that you are not alone. Millions of people experience some form of dissociation over the course of their lives, and there are ways to deal with it. Especially in our time, where mental health is becoming more and more a topic, you will find numerous information and help offers. Sometimes the first step is the hardest – to admit that you need help. But this step is worthwhile, because it paves the way to more quality of life, stability and a deeper understanding of oneself.
(Note: This blog text is for general information and does not replace professional medical or psychotherapeutic advice. For persistent or severe symptoms, please contact qualified professionals.)
Glossary:
- Disengagement (mental)
In psychology, separation describes the separation of certain experiences, feelings, or memories from conscious experience. Often this is an unconscious protective mechanism to better withstand strong mental stresses. - mindfulness
Mindfulness means consciously focusing attention on the present moment without evaluating it. The aim is to clearly perceive internal and external processes – such as thoughts, feelings or sensory impressions – instead of automatically displacing or evaluating them. - Depersonalisation
A form of dissociation in which those affected feel alienated from their own body or identity. People often describe the feeling of ‘standing beside one another’ or of looking at oneself as a stranger. - Derealisation
It is also a form of dissociation. In derealization, the environment seems unreal or foreign, almost as if you only experience everything in a dream. People often report seeing colors or sounds as altered. - dissociation
A mental state in which people feel disconnected from their surroundings or feelings. Different contents of consciousness that normally work together (e.g. perception, emotion, memory) are partially or completely separated from each other. - Dissociative amnesia
Describes memory gaps, usually associated with traumatic or highly stressful experiences. Those affected can no longer remember certain events or periods because those memories have been ‘split off’. - DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy)
A therapeutic procedure originally developed for people with borderline personality disorder. Key points are mindfulness, emotion regulation, stress tolerance and interpersonal skills. DBT can also help with dissociations because it teaches strategies to manage feelings and stress more constructively. - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
A form of therapy that is often used in trauma therapy. Through targeted eye movements (or other bilateral stimuli) during the memory of traumatic experiences, these experiences are to be ‘processed’ and rearranged so that their emotional intensity decreases. - Changes in identity
In severe cases of dissociative disorders, it can happen that those affected develop different personality shares. They then feel as if they are temporarily another person and cannot remember what they experienced afterwards. - Integration
In psychotherapy, integration describes the process of bringing previously separated (dissociated) experiences, emotions and memories into consciousness and integrating them harmoniously into the self-image. This reduces the dissociative states in the long term. - Internal conflicts
Situations in which conflicting needs, values or feelings collide and are difficult to reconcile. Such conflicts can cause severe stress, which can lead to dissociation, among other things. - ressources
Skills, strengths, social contacts or inner attitudes that support people in coping with crises and maintaining mental stability. In therapy, resources are specifically expanded in order to better deal with dissociations and other stresses. - Stabilisation phase
A phase in trauma or dissociation treatment in which the first step is to strengthen and stabilise those affected in the here and now. Here, skills such as grounding, mindfulness and emotion regulation are taught before deeper trauma processing begins. - Trauma
A severely stressful event (e.g. accident, violence, abuse) that shakes the sense of safety and can lead to ongoing psychological complaints. Dissociation often serves as a protective mechanism to initially make trauma experiences ‘inaccessible’. - triggers
Stimuli or situations that are unconsciously reminiscent of traumatic experiences and can thus trigger strong symptoms of stress or anxiety. In people with dissociation, triggers sometimes lead to acute spin-offs or depersonalization/derealization.
(This glossary explains key technical terms from the text and makes it easier to understand the context. If you have any further questions, you should consult a competent person, e.g. from the therapeutic area.)
Links:
General information about dissociation
- Psychiatry.de: Dissociative disorders
A comprehensive platform with information on mental illness, including dissociative disorders. - DGPPN (German Society of Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, Psychosomatics and Neurology)
Professional information on psychiatric topics and specific therapy options. - Trauma Institute and Center for Psychological Education
Information about trauma and dissociation with offers for further training and counselling.
Advice and support
- White ring
Support for victims of violence or crime, including trauma counselling. - Telephone counselling
Anonymous advice and first aid if you need urgent help. - Victim support Germany
Advice and assistance for people who want to cope with traumatic experiences.
Professional therapy offers
- EMDR Germany e.V.
Information on EMDR therapy and lists of certified therapists. - DBT Network Germany
Information and specialists on dialectical behavioral therapy. - Psychotherapy Information Service (PID)
Platform for the search for licensed psychotherapists in Germany.
Self-help and exchange
- Trauma and dissociation – self-help groups
Find support groups in your area. - DIS Support Forum
Online platform for exchange with other sufferers of dissociation and consequential trauma disorders.
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