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The hidden power behind Borderline: Recognizing Sensitivity as a Resource

“How sensitivity can become inner strength in borderline – a new look at emotional intensity.”

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Not the kind of sensitivity that is ridiculed as ‘thin-skinned’, but a form of perception that goes deeper, reacts faster and captures moods before others even notice them.

When partners become triggers: Borderline, Narcissism and the Challenge of Communication

“How to talk to each other despite emotional injuries – concrete strategies and examples for couples with personality shares”

Sometimes it is not the world out there that stresses us the most – but the person we love.
In relationships where one or both partners live with a personality disorder, such as: Borderline or narcissism –, proximity can quickly become a powder keg. Words, gestures, or even silence can suddenly become triggering will be. And what originally began as a conversation ends in retreat, anger, tears, or silence.

How to Dissolve Toxic Dynamics Between Narcissists and Borderliners

“Practical advice and communication tips to break out of patterns”

1. Introduction: When attraction becomes a trap

Between a person with Narcissistic traits And a man with a Borderline personality disorder Often an intense, almost magnetic relationship arises.
It starts with passion, understanding and emotional depth – and often ends in Chaos, pain and misunderstandings.

The role of trauma bonding in relationships between people with borderline patterns and narcissistic patterns

“What trauma bonding is, how it arises – and how the exit can succeed”

1) Brief overview – what it is about

Trauma bonding describes an intense, elusive bond that arises in relationships with recurring cycles of stress and violence. It feels subjectively ‘magnetic’, but is Intermittent reward (periods of intense closeness) and sporadic injury (depreciation, Gaslighting, withdrawal) neurobiologically ‘wired’. When a person is strong Fear of abandonment (often with borderline patterns) and the other Control/superiority needs (often with narcissistic patterns) creates a cycle that entangles both: Proximity–pain–reconciliation–hope–relapse.

How to Recognize Early Warning Signs of a Borderline Relationship

"Checklists and leading indicators to identify problematic dynamics in a timely manner"

introduction

Relationships are one of the most important areas of life for most people. You can give security, joy and deep closeness. However, not every relationship is harmonious – sometimes dynamics arise that are stressful for both sides. Especially if one of the partners Borderline personality disorder (BPS) There are often very intense and contradictory patterns.

Tops, labels and the psychology behind them

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00:00 - 0:00:02 Music
0:00:02 – 0:00:31 [Music]
0:00:31 – 0:00:39 Hello and welcome to a new edition of the digression. Where I sometimes go from
0:00:39 – 0:00:49 The topic is digressive or not. I'm Sascha Markmann and I say hello. Today's topic is
0:00:49 – 0:01:00 Top labels and the psychology behind them. I did a podcast in disarray.
0:01:00 – 0:01:17 In which it liked YouTube, i.e. where criticism comes from or is referred to as bullying. Then I have
0:01:17 – 0:01:29 I made a podcast that came from the group of Leisenstille. It was about
0:01:29 – 0:01:40 a pattern of communication, denial, attack and victim reversal, the so-called
0:01:40 – 0:01:56 described patterns before and there were some hard reactions to it and that's why it should now be
0:01:56 – 0:02:08 Let's go. We all know this from social media. There are quarrels, labels and drama are produced,
0:02:08 – 0:02:17 The algorithm likes this very much. But instead of just paying attention to the conflict,
0:02:17 – 0:02:25 Let's look at the mechanics behind it. It's almost like we're psychologically
0:02:25 – 0:02:40 Diagnosis, assessment, classification and how do these disputes work? So
0:02:40 – 0:02:48 Let's start with that. How's this going? On Instagram, YouTube or in Shorts, in Reels,
0:02:48 – 0:02:57 In Stories, we see the same choreography over and over again. Someone criticizes someone else,
0:02:57 – 0:03:04 the other responds fairly promptly, almost immediately, publicly and with clear peaks.
0:03:04 – 0:03:11 And quickly labels and terms fall, which put the opponent in a drawer in advance.
0:03:11 – 0:03:21 Scrap radio, Asifunk or similar devaluations. Importantly, these terms act like cognitive
0:03:21 – 0:03:33 Filters. They hear more or less or whoever hears them already has a picture in their mind,
0:03:33 – 0:03:43 Before it even comes to content. The whole thing produces images like "the one can't do anything",
0:03:43 – 0:03:52 "he's just talking bullshit anyway" or "there's not much to expect anyway, there's junk".
0:03:52 – 0:04:00 So, what are the techniques behind it? These are some typical mechanisms.
0:04:00 – 0:04:09 Frame control. With a single word, the narrative is steered. Who says junk,
0:04:09 – 0:04:18 The decision was made before the discussion began. The well-known Davor pattern. First will be
0:04:18 – 0:04:29 Denied, then reactivated, then attacked the critic and in the end the victim role turns
0:04:29 – 0:04:40 um. "I'm being criticized" becomes "I'm being bullied." The next point would be the "Ephemeral
0:04:40 – 0:04:49 escalation. Stories disappear after 24 hours. They are ideal for putting tips without them
0:04:49 – 0:04:57 They are easy to prove. What remains are reels or clips. Selectively as desired image
0:04:57 – 0:05:06 be conserved. The last point would be humorous devaluation. Labels like Asifunk
0:05:06 – 0:05:14 It works not only as a devaluation, but also as a running gag. Humor is aggression.
0:05:14 – 0:05:22 And even if you haven't done anything on the subject for weeks, good three weeks,
0:05:22 – 0:05:35 is repeatedly expressed in Live on YouTube or in other channels pejoratively about it.
0:05:35 – 0:05:44 There are always tips, again and again. And this is proven by other content creators,
0:05:44 – 0:05:48 with whom you stand in the air. That even if you don't do anything for months,
0:05:48 – 0:05:55 There are always peaks. But what is psychologically behind it now, i.e. purely hypothetical?
0:05:55 – 0:06:05 Hypothetically, such behaviors play certain personality dimensions
0:06:05 – 0:06:15 again. A high reward sensitivity, likes and range act like an amplifier. Each
0:06:15 – 0:06:23 Every reaction gives a dopamine kick in the short term. The brain literally floats in dopamine and you
0:06:23 – 0:06:35 It's pretty horny. Range, clicks, admiration. That can be cool. The next point is an
0:06:35 – 0:06:42 fragile self-esteem system. Criticism is seen as a threat. Therefore, the fast, partly
0:06:42 – 0:06:48 aggressive backlash. Yeah, if you don't like what I'm doing, that's bad because
0:06:48 – 0:06:56 I'm so cool, I'm so horny. The others reward me. If you criticize me,
0:06:56 – 0:07:04 Something must be broken with you, not me. Then there is dominance. dispute
0:07:04 – 0:07:12 is not avoided, but sought because it allows a status game. I can stop over
0:07:12 – 0:07:21 Raise the other, I can discredit the other, put him in a drawer
0:07:21 – 0:07:28 I'm stuck and so I always have a slightly higher level, because I determine the playing field,
0:07:28 – 0:07:36 I set the rules and you're on my terrain right now and you have to do what I want
0:07:36 – 0:07:43 And what I allow. And then there is external attribution. Have I got it right
0:07:43 – 0:07:53 pronounced? Attribution. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guilt or mistakes are consistently prescribed to others.
0:07:53 – 0:08:01 They are formally sought. You go through all the content. You work for days,
0:08:01 – 0:08:08 listens to hours over hours, oh what do I say, several days of content and searches for itself
0:08:08 – 0:08:15 The smallest promises out. As a dyslexic, I can only say that I always prescribe myself completely.
0:08:15 – 0:08:21 gladly. We look for such small weaknesses, such small mistakes, and then, of course, we highlight them.
0:08:21 – 0:08:28 because, aha, look, the other can't do it, the other doesn't do it better, the other,
0:08:28 – 0:08:36 What kind of training does he have? He must be a charlatan!" To make it clear again,
0:08:36 – 0:08:44 This is purely hypothetical. It's not about a diagnosis, it's about psychological patterns.
0:08:44 – 0:08:55 And now we come to the huge side effects of this behavior. In the short term, this
0:08:55 – 0:09:05 Strategy "reach" argues clicks. The algorithm loves click in dispute. Beef is in
0:09:05 – 0:09:15 Internet is always a guarantee for content creators to increase their reach. In the medium term, it can
0:09:15 – 0:09:23 But this will become the core of the brand, because you will be reduced to drama. And you can already
0:09:23 – 0:09:33 observe that a colorfully mixed portfolio of topics at once separates and separates
0:09:33 – 0:09:42 beef content and trash and so on
0:09:42 – 0:09:49 concentrated. On the other hand, actually what one had liked to do with
0:09:49 – 0:09:55 It's the heartblood of retro content. And of course there is also a problem,
0:09:55 – 0:10:03 In the long run, there is a risk of loss of confidence. Who is perceived only through conflicts,
0:10:03 – 0:10:11 It's hard to be taken seriously with content beyond the pen. And that is also
0:10:11 – 0:10:17 It's already happened. You've seen that certain things just don't work anymore.
0:10:17 – 0:10:25 or have much fewer clicks in relation to other content and so you have just separated that,
0:10:25 – 0:10:31 on its own channel. And then we come to the end so slowly.
0:10:31 – 0:10:41 Yeah, what does that mean for us? Yes, if terms like junk radio fall, then it is not a neutral
0:10:41 – 0:10:48 Description, but a psychological trick. It shifts the discourse before it starts.
0:10:48 – 0:11:01 has. This is pure distraction. He knows very well that there are many critics. Before these people
0:11:01 – 0:11:08 can become dangerous, they become dangerous in his group, in his inner group, in his peer group,
0:11:08 – 0:11:15 So the people he works closely with and the people who like to hang out with them.
0:11:15 – 0:11:21 If you are or work with them, everything will be framed from the outset.
0:11:21 – 0:11:32 that even if information arrives there, by naming it as dubious,
0:11:32 – 0:11:44 Not worth anything, Asifunk and so on, that you just don't believe the people. And so
0:11:44 – 0:11:52 he can be sure that he will continue to have a certain status in his group and also in
0:11:52 – 0:12:00 Its supporters have the status, without it somehow comes to the fact that criticism is received.
0:12:00 – 0:12:06 It doesn't matter if the criticism is justified or not. This criticism will
0:12:06 – 0:12:16 In the beginning, it was dismissed as nonsense, because he always goes back and does the things.
0:12:16 – 0:12:26 So framed, so arranged that it's nothing. He makes fun of it and that
0:12:26 – 0:12:33 They are repeating, repeating and repeating predecessors over and over again.
0:12:33 – 0:12:40 And that's how it settles down mentally. Because one thing is certain, conflicts are on the net
0:12:40 – 0:12:50 unavoidable. There are also people who have fun. I find conflicts on the Internet in places
0:12:50 – 0:12:56 entertaining. I find even this conflict entertaining for me here, because it gives me the opportunity
0:12:56 – 0:13:03 provides information about these mechanisms or in a playful, ironic way
0:13:03 – 0:13:13 to inform about this group of people. You can show them the mirror and they hold you
0:13:13 – 0:13:19 even larger mirrors back, then we hold an even larger mirror back and they
0:13:19 – 0:13:26 Hold back a large mirror. The only thing you get out of it is range and
0:13:26 – 0:13:33 It's a good time when we're doing our content. As long as it's not "legal"
0:13:33 – 0:13:40 To stay or to be, that's perfectly fine. This is a win-win situation for everyone.
0:13:40 – 0:13:50 So much for that. In the end, spikes fizzle out, substance remains. Goodbye, Sasha.
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In this episode, the The digression It's about the mechanics behind quarrels, tips and labels on the net.
Why are terms such as ‘scrap radio’ or ‘Asifunk’ used before content is checked?
What are the psychological patterns behind it – and why do these tactics work so well in the social media algorithm?

I analyze typical mechanisms such as Frame control, DARVO, ephemeral escalation and humorous devaluation. We also take a look at the possible personality dimensions that favour such strategies – purely hypothetical, but with a clear structure.

In the end, the question remains: What does dispute really bring, and why is it so risky in the long run if a creator is only perceived through conflicts?

Topics Outline

Tops, labels and the psychology behind them

Welcome & Introduction
– Presentation of the topic
– Referring back to previous episodes of criticism, bullying and DARVO
Observation: How Disputes Occur on the Net
– Typical choreography on Instagram, YouTube, Reels and Stories
– Exemplary labels and devaluations (‘scrap radio’, ‘Asifunk’)
– Effect of such concepts as cognitive filters
Analysis of techniques
– Frame Control: Narrative is steered in one word
– DARVO model: Denial, attack, victim-perpetrator reversal
– Ephemeral escalation: Stories disappear, Reels stay
– Humor as devaluation: Devaluations as Running Gag
Psychological patterns (hypothetical)
– Reward sensitivity: Dopamine by Likes and Reach
– Fragile self-esteem system: Criticism as a threat
– Dominance orientation: Dispute as a status game
– External attribution: Guilt is consistently attributed to others
Side effects & risks
– Short-term benefits: Reach, Attention, Algorithm Effects
– Medium-term consequences: Reduction to drama and beef content
– Long-term risks: Loss of trust, narrowing of content
Meaning for Criticism & Community
– Why labels are shifting the discourse
– How group dynamics and framing prevent criticism from coming
– Devaluation as a protective mechanism against content disputes
Conclusion & Conclusion
– Conflicts are unavoidable online – but also entertaining
– Educating about mechanics can help to sharpen the eye
– Key idea: spikes fizzle, substance remains

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Number of downloads: 317
Playing time: 0:18:12
Date of admission: 26.08.25
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.

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Silent Silence 004 DARVO Communication Pattern

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transcript
00:00 - 0:00:24 [Music]
0:00:24 – 0:00:27 Hello and welcome to a new edition
0:00:24 – 0:00:32 The quiet silence. I'm Sascha Markmann and I say hello. This podcast format is
0:00:32 – 0:00:44 Yes, psychological issues. It is about behaviors, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, obsessive-compulsive disorders,
0:00:44 – 0:00:56 Borderline narcissists and everything else. Today we want a communication tactic,
0:00:56 – 0:01:09 which is often used in the narcissistic environment or in borderliners, in order to act as a perpetrator of
0:01:09 – 0:01:23 Yes, distract. This is the so-called "Dare for" technique, a communication mechanism.
0:01:23 – 0:01:36 It means denying "denial", attacking "attack" and "reverse" "victim offender".
0:01:36 – 0:01:43 These are the perpetrator-victim reversals.
0:01:43 – 0:01:59 It was created by psychologist Jennifer Floyd. It is almost the guide,
0:01:59 – 0:02:12 how to recognize such communication patterns. And it's a guide to how to recur
0:02:12 – 0:02:24 Patterns that people deal with accusations or criticism when they don't engage in their own behavior
0:02:24 – 0:02:35 You can or want to acknowledge. The first thing we would deny is D-Nay. The mechanism behind it is,
0:02:35 – 0:02:41 Criticism or accusations are categorically rejected. There is no content
0:02:41 – 0:02:50 Controversy instead, but a global "everything is lied to, none of it is true" – psychological
0:02:50 – 0:02:59 a defensive strategy based on the reduction of self-reflection. The technical term for this is
0:02:59 – 0:03:10 The mechanism of denial. The effect of this is as follows. The other person is unsettled,
0:03:10 – 0:03:16 The basis of the discussion is disputed. Outsiders can falter,
0:03:16 – 0:03:24 If she says so clearly, that's all wrong. Maybe there's really nothing wrong with it.
0:03:24 – 0:03:32 For example, this is all freely invented. I have nothing to do with all this stuff.
0:03:32 – 0:03:44 The second phase is attack, the attack, the mechanism behind it. After the deniers
0:03:44 – 0:03:51 Attention is actively directed outwards. Instead of defending themselves, the person
0:03:51 – 0:03:58 critics. Typical means are insult, insinuation, job-damaging claims.
0:03:58 – 0:04:05 Psychologically speaking, this is where projective mechanisms work.
0:04:05 – 0:04:14 Internal insecurities are shifted outwards and others are pushed back.
0:04:14 – 0:04:23 Technical terms such as "ad homine" – attack against the person, not against the thing, i.e. against the
0:04:23 – 0:04:35 utterance, projection or projective externalization. Feelings of guilt are shifted to the outside world.
0:04:35 – 0:04:45 The effect, the discussion shifts from the accusation to the defense of the critics.
0:04:45 – 0:04:58 Emotional escalation is attacked, often reacts with anger, apparently confirming the presentation.
0:04:58 – 0:05:07 An example, your podcast is junk, you're just bubbling and you're living
0:05:07 – 0:05:19 of social fraud. The third phase would be the reverse victim opener, the victim-offender reversal.
0:05:19 – 0:05:26 The mechanism behind this is, after denial and attack, the decisive turn follows.
0:05:26 – 0:05:35 The attacker frames himself or "framed", as they say today, himself as a victim. The
0:05:35 – 0:05:45 Critics as perpetrators. Psychologically, this is a form of cognitive dissonance reduction.
0:05:45 – 0:05:54 One's own aggressive behavior does not fit into one's self-image, so it is reinterpreted.
0:05:54 – 0:06:07 Technical terms in this area victim-offender reversal, English "victim-blaming-reversal", partly
0:06:07 – 0:06:17 Also described as "gaze-lighting-light" because the perception of third parties is distorted.
0:06:17 – 0:06:27 The effect. Outsiders are confused. Who is attacking whom here? They can be sympathetic
0:06:27 – 0:06:36 tilting. People tend to protect the victim. The actual conflict is obscured,
0:06:36 – 0:06:44 responsibility is blurred. An example. I'm the one who bullies here all the time
0:06:44 – 0:06:56 will. They are obsessed with me and report me everywhere. Why is it tactics,
0:06:56 – 0:07:05 Is the communication pattern so effective? Firstly, it is the speed. The sequence often comes
0:07:05 – 0:07:13 Within a few seconds or hours if it's an internet post. Observe
0:07:13 – 0:07:22 - Consumers are surprised - emotional dynamics, denial, anger, victim role
0:07:22 – 0:07:26 create a roller coaster that triggers strong reactions
0:07:26 – 0:07:33 - Narrative control - Whoever uses this communication pattern has
0:07:33 – 0:07:39 short-term meaninglessness, because he plays attacker and victim at the same time
0:07:39 – 0:07:49 Audience effect. Especially on social media, the Davor technique amplifies its effect,
0:07:49 – 0:07:55 Because outsiders often only see fragments and the victim role is stuck at the end.
0:07:55 – 0:08:07 I would definitely like to thank you for your listening and your keen interest in this format. me
0:08:07 – 0:08:14 I hope I've been able to teach you something new and I'd love to see you next.
0:08:14 – 0:08:23 Turn it on if you want to hear about psychological issues.
0:08:23 – 0:08:27 Until then, I say goodbye, your Sasha.
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In this episode of Quiet silence I am talking about a pattern of communication that recurs in conflicts, whether in everyday life, in relationships or in public debate: DARVO.

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender – i.e. Denial, attack, perpetrator-victim reversal.
We look at how this pattern works, why it is so effective, and how it also becomes visible on social media.

Using current examples from Instagram stories, we explain:

How to deny falsehood.Deny),
Why then immediately follows the counterattack (Attack),
and how, in the end, perpetrators and victims exchange roles (Reverse Victim and Offender).

I'll show you which Psychological mechanisms from defensive strategies to projection and cognitive dissonance, and why DARVO is so confusing for outsiders.

At the end there are impulses, how to recognize this pattern without being drawn into the vortex. Because once you understand DARVO, you will discover it again and again in everyday life and online.

Thematic breakdown:

1. introduction

Welcome and introduction to the silent format
Presentation of the topic: DARVO – a communication pattern of psychology and conflict research

2. Origin and definition of DARVO

Origin: Concept by Jennifer Freyd
Meaning: Deny – Attack – Reverse Victim and Offender
Use in narcissistic and borderline conflicts

3. First phase: Deny (denial)

How it works: General rejection of criticism
Psychological term: Defense Mechanism of Denial
Impact: Uncertainty of the counterpart, doubts with outsiders
Example: “It's all made up. I have nothing to do with all this stuff.”

4. Second phase: Attack (attack)

How it works: Focus shift to the outside, direct attacks on critics
Psychological mechanisms: projection, Projective externalisation, ad hominem attack
Impact: Escalation, critics suddenly have to defend themselves
Examples: "Your podcast is rubbish. You only laugh at bullshit.’ / ‘You live off social fraud.’

5. Third phase: Reverse Victim and Offender

How it works: Perpetrators portray themselves as victims, critics are declared perpetrators
Psychological concepts: Cognitive Dissonance Reduction, victim-blaming-reversal, gaslighting light
Impact: Outsiders are confused, sympathies tip in favor of the alleged victim
Example: “I am the one being bullied here all the time. They are obsessed with me.’

6. Why DARVO is so effective

Speed of sequence: Surprise effect
Emotional dynamics: Denial → Anger → Victim role as roller coaster
Narrative control: The perpetrator appears as a victim at the same time.
Audience effect on social media: Fragments get stuck, victim role looks convincing

7. conclusion

DARVO as a powerful but manipulative communication tactic
Important: Recognize patterns so as not to be dragged into the twist
Invitation to rehearse and look ahead to upcoming psychological topics

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Contributors to this episode

Sascha

Number of downloads: 156
Playing time: 0:11:47
Date of admission: 24.08.25
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.

One According to Funk Publication Cartel Production - Where stories are transmitted unmistakably.

Podcast license:

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you shop through these links, I'll get a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Borderline: Why proximity and distance remain an eternal field of tension

“Understanding Causes – Developing Strategies – Shaping Relationships Consciously”

Introduction – the invisible pendulum

For many people, proximity is pleasant and distance is a harmless break. For people with an Borderline personality disorder (BPS) is the equilibrium fragile, highly sensitive system. The inner pendulum between ‘very close’ and ‘very far away’ can strike without warning – sometimes within minutes, seemingly ‘for no reason’, but actually triggered by microstimuli, stress residues or ambiguous signals.

Hello here is Leon from TALNEWS, thank you for the nice conversation. Again and again gladly! :)

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The fact that you are now working on the linguistic form is a transparent distraction maneuver. On every page of this blog is completely …

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It is significant that a rhetorical mask is chosen here from psychological terms such as ‘gaslighting’ and ‘blame reversal’, which are used in the diametric ….

1. Introduction: When attraction becomes a trap

1) Brief overview – what it is about

introduction

Topics Outline

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Thematic breakdown:

1. introduction

2. Origin and definition of DARVO

3. First phase: Deny (denial)

4. Second phase: Attack (attack)

5. Third phase: Reverse Victim and Offender

6. Why DARVO is so effective

7. conclusion

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Introduction – the invisible pendulum