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KlarFunk-006 When diagnoses become a weapon – therapy language, peer pressure and YouTube double standards

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00:00 - 0:00:10 Today it's about therapy language, about psychiatric diagnoses in social media
0:00:10 – 0:00:18 and how a flag in the wind changes his mind during a live stream.
0:00:18 – 0:00:27 Sure, Klarfunkt. Not around it. Not just further. Not just loud. Questioning.
0:00:27 – 0:00:37 Klarfunkt. Let's talk about it.
0:00:37 – 0:00:52 Welcome to Lautfunk, I'm Sascha Markmann and I say hello. Yes, I saw a video today
0:00:52 – 0:01:01 It was from the LeFloid. A content creator who has been doing things on YouTube for ages,
0:01:01 – 0:01:09 has a very eventful past, here and there his problems with alcohol or without alcohol
0:01:09 – 0:01:19 He did and did content all the time. He also has quite incidentally actually psychology
0:01:19 – 0:01:29 studies, which he advises against anyone who does not like to do mathematics, because this field has
0:01:29 – 0:01:39 Surprisingly much to do with statistics and mathematics. Who would have thought? Yes,
0:01:39 – 0:01:49 This video is about the fact that social media is a trend, yes, in short videos,
0:01:49 – 0:01:59 especially like to use on TikTok or on YouTube in shorts, therapy language. And so
0:01:59 – 0:02:06 to impart knowledge, which is not even as real knowledge as in the video of
0:02:06 – 0:02:13 Love Lloyd is shown. Incidentally, this is also linked in the show notes, or in
0:02:13 – 0:02:22 Pinned comments. Not even really relevant is the knowledge of what is conveyed there,
0:02:22 – 0:02:29 because in a maximum of 30 seconds you don't really have such complex topics as the behavior of
0:02:29 – 0:02:37 Break down people. I also found the section on narcissism particularly interesting.
0:02:37 – 0:02:50 LeFloid uses such things as "These three things make narcissists" as a video rip-off
0:02:50 – 0:03:01 And that's where he talks about a few things. Because each of us has narcissistic traits within us.
0:03:01 – 0:03:06 And then the question is only when is it just a personality disorder,
0:03:06 – 0:03:15 a narcissistic personality disorder, or is all this still within the normal framework,
0:03:15 – 0:03:23 It's just a complex personality. If you now look at all these
0:03:23 – 0:03:30 Look at personality parts, then you have a little more, sometimes a little less
0:03:30 – 0:03:37 distinct, different aspects. That's what makes us stand out and that's just a very complex topic.
0:03:37 – 0:03:44 You always have to see it contextually. Now I could go and who knows
0:03:44 – 0:03:50 What a huge talk spread about it and explain things. I don't want that at all. Me
0:03:50 – 0:04:00 just wants to open your eyes that therapy language, i.e. the targeted use
0:04:00 – 0:04:07 from medical terms to stigmatize someone and that happens automatically,
0:04:07 – 0:04:21 If you just do that, that it does not do justice in any way to what these words,
0:04:21 – 0:04:28 This therapy language was originally invented. Because one describes with it human
0:04:28 – 0:04:36 Behavior and you can't do that if you don't have the basics for it and
0:04:36 – 0:04:42 of which I am not talking about education and knowledge and so on, but without having to deal with
0:04:42 – 0:04:48 employed the man. If you don't know someone, just what they're doing.
0:04:48 – 0:04:55 Internet in erects, looks at and then draws conclusions about a complex personality
0:04:55 – 0:05:03 concludes, then this is technically totally wrong. And that just happens here from people,
0:05:03 – 0:05:07 who in no way have an education, but only a lot of content in the
0:05:07 – 0:05:14 Internet is consumed. Which is then even in places really wrong. LeFloid brings
0:05:14 – 0:05:22 This is a meta-study. I don't know if it's linked to you in the video. This is where it goes
0:05:22 – 0:05:29 there that you stop a bunch of content creators that stop this educational content
0:05:29 – 0:05:34 have looked at mental illnesses and there were actually less
0:05:34 – 0:05:42 than 20 percent who have not lambed bullshit, who were technically correct. The rest was either
0:05:42 – 0:05:50 Half or total catastrophe and the total catastrophe was more than half. Yes and
0:05:50 – 0:05:57 That's what I'm experiencing, too. I see in the comment columns people who stop in various
0:05:57 – 0:06:03 Drawers are put in without having really dealt with it, but stop
0:06:03 – 0:06:10 only seen what those of themselves voluntarily show on the Internet. And that is already
0:06:10 – 0:06:18 It's funny and that's a point that makes me think. Clearly I have in the
0:06:18 – 0:06:25 Past also said, this already has racist traits, but racist traits
0:06:25 – 0:06:33 at each of us in itself sometimes more or sometimes less pronounced and this is totally normal,
0:06:33 – 0:06:41 because thinking a little about yourself is already important or if you are just someone,
0:06:41 – 0:06:47 which should have an external effect, then should also have a bit of a hold in itself
0:06:47 – 0:06:54 be in love yourself, so that you also have the appropriate appearance, the self-assurance,
0:06:54 – 0:07:04 to look outward. You don't have to count equally smoothly among the top 10 percent of the prettiest,
0:07:04 – 0:07:14 Just to have narcissistic traits. It starts with a lot of little things. Or if you stop
0:07:14 – 0:07:22 go and derive behaviors based on a psychiatric diagnosis because you
0:07:22 – 0:07:28 would like to transport a certain image to the outside, such as the accusation that you
0:07:28 – 0:07:36 It would be opportunistic if you had a borderline diagnosis. This is also pretty
0:07:36 – 0:07:44 dangerous, but fits right into this pattern by giving someone else a psychiatric
0:07:44 – 0:07:55 Pressing down on a diagnosis and thus presenting it as quasi-valid as mentally ill, then explains itself
0:07:55 – 0:08:04 Yes, a lot of his behaviors and he is not to be taken seriously anyway and is mentally ill anyway.
0:08:04 – 0:08:12 Yes, it is a super remedy, which works great. I mean, some assassins were in the
0:08:12 – 0:08:23 Past also likes to be portrayed as a stranger, as mentally conspicuous or as a communist.
0:08:23 – 0:08:33 Yes, I know this is a blatant comparison now, but it is a means that is gladly used.
0:08:33 – 0:08:39 And why, if that worked over and over again in the big story, why does it work?
0:08:39 – 0:08:48 Not even on a small scale, in a small YouTube, yes, what do you call it now? Bubble? Bubble will be yes
0:08:48 – 0:08:57 Also so gladly no longer seen. Then we just call it YouTube refuge, a small place with
0:08:57 – 0:09:07 a few thousand inhabitants. An enclave, to put it another way. And there it is and
0:09:07 – 0:09:14 Up and down there diagnoses are distributed and woe to the one talking publicly about that
0:09:14 – 0:09:20 he has this and that then you immediately skin with the baseball bat on it but no this
0:09:20 – 0:09:26 Baseball bat who also has five to six ten inches of nails in it so that at least the
0:09:26 – 0:09:34 It leaves a real lasting impression when you've hit it. Is already weird
0:09:34 – 0:09:43 Maybe you should just think about the fact that there are really people who
0:09:43 – 0:09:49 Have a psychiatric diagnosis and maybe have a lot of problems. Gladly will be yes at the moment
0:09:49 – 0:09:58 Yes, the torch of depression held up and there are also people who content about it
0:09:58 – 0:10:04 and then do not really react to the chat, which is full of any
0:10:04 – 0:10:14 Half-truths, because commenter X or commenter Y has a positive with that or that drug
0:10:14 – 0:10:20 or negative experience. One thing may have led to you holding weight
0:10:20 – 0:10:26 The other has caused you to lose weight. And so you can stop
0:10:26 – 0:10:33 gloriously in the comments throw any medication tips at your head without
0:10:33 – 0:10:44 There is somehow a well-founded basis. Well, half-knowledge, half-truths, yes that's such a thing.
0:10:44 – 0:10:53 Things that are really big right now. Or you wrap an untruth with a little bit of truth
0:10:53 – 0:11:04 and you can build wonderful diagnoses and other constructs. This is really fantastic
0:11:04 – 0:11:12 and I think the video of LeFloid is a great example of this and he explains it really well
0:11:12 – 0:11:20 and sometimes also with a lot of technical language, but even that he explains how it is so
0:11:20 – 0:11:27 It works and what is highly problematic about it. And I think if someone better that
0:11:27 – 0:11:32 can explain like me, then it should also be the one. Watch the video. It
0:11:32 – 0:11:39 is linked in the shownotes or in the pinned comment. Well, let's get here now
0:11:39 – 0:11:48 on the next topic. So flags in the wind. The days are something really interesting for me
0:11:48 – 0:11:57 noticed. The good Bernie from Bernis Nachtcafé somehow had a livestream at 5 o'clock in the morning
0:11:57 – 0:12:05 It was done that was very emotional. I think most people know what it's about. It was about the
0:12:05 – 0:12:12 The fact that he had found comments under a post by a loyal viewer,
0:12:12 – 0:12:20 They have shaken his worldview, let's say so. Because there were things of
0:12:20 – 0:12:25 former spectators or current spectators dropped, which is not positive
0:12:25 – 0:12:34 were. The stone of offense had been a phone call with someone who didn't stop particularly
0:12:34 – 0:12:42 This small enclave of YouTube's internet, namely Frank Battermann, is doing well. And although
0:12:42 – 0:12:48 the two do not like each other somehow, the two have actually managed to get there and
0:12:48 – 0:12:53 Write an e-mail again or maybe even talk on the phone. What I believe as
0:12:53 – 0:12:59 Adult man really is a great thing that you can also deal with people you are dealing with.
0:12:59 – 0:13:06 can't understand, still exchange somehow. That's a really good thing because you
0:13:06 – 0:13:13 then one can clarify misunderstandings and not only always react to higher legends. But this
0:13:13 – 0:13:19 It's a topic for another podcast or another video. In any case, this is
0:13:19 – 0:13:29 Displeased in the community really displeased and then a few have turned away
0:13:29 – 0:13:38 And they really let out their frustration in this community post by the viewer.
0:13:38 – 0:13:41 And Bernie didn't like that.
0:13:41 – 0:13:46 It has met with total displeasure because how can it be that the great Bernie
0:13:46 – 0:13:51 ring out on his balcony at once with such a headwind, where he had thought,
0:13:51 – 0:13:57 It is the closest confidants that leave such comments.
0:13:57 – 0:14:02 And so he did a podcast at 5 o'clock or was it a video?
0:14:02 – 0:14:07 I think that was even a video and talked about it, also has a few comments
0:14:07 – 0:14:14 read aloud and mentioned, among other things, that I wrote him an e-mail,
0:14:14 – 0:14:18 I asked for a conversation because I noticed a few things.
0:14:18 – 0:14:25 Of course, this immediately met with some kind of rejection, because the Sascha of Lautfunk, the
0:14:25 – 0:14:32 He can only act on behalf of Frank Butterman. He's supposed to obey you, he's supposed to manipulate you
0:14:32 – 0:14:38 and what you have spoken there possibly record and this immediately the Frank Butterman
0:14:38 – 0:14:51 play. So I'm really a fucking fucking scarf, a scarf.
0:14:51 – 0:15:03 But such wickedness, no, is far from me. So, you actually noticed,
0:15:03 – 0:15:13 how the chat went off and had really taken that more than negatively, that you now over
0:15:13 – 0:15:25 the commentators under this community post with the former viewers that you stop there
0:15:25 – 0:15:31 It had reacted negatively to the fact that this was also perceived very strongly negatively.
0:15:31 – 0:15:42 And you noticed that at some point this has penetrated to Bernie and he then calms down
0:15:42 – 0:15:48 had. This also led to three phone calls, where each time a woman had called and which then each
0:15:48 – 0:15:55 Sometimes very emotional and the one more, the other less factually addressed the matter,
0:15:55 – 0:16:03 how he slowly turned around and the idea of establishing contact with sound radio, with me, with Sascha,
0:16:03 – 0:16:11 did not even find it so good and above all that he might be a little too hard
0:16:11 – 0:16:17 and would have reacted beforehand to what the comments were about. Of course I have myself the
0:16:17 – 0:16:23 Comments viewed and which were, as usual, by the usual commenters under all
0:16:23 – 0:16:29 Sow. I mean, these people are so under all the sow that they're hidden on the canal with us
0:16:29 – 0:16:36 are because I myself, although we have to release every comment manually, I deal with such a
0:16:36 – 0:16:44 Shit does not want to deal with, because there comes sometimes hard tobak. And what some a
0:16:44 – 0:16:54 Comment writer so leaves is already, yes sometimes I would even say legal.
0:16:54 – 0:17:03 So the doxing, the insulting is the order of the day and there will be hard, yes there
0:17:03 – 0:17:09 Shot at small sparrows with atomic bombs. But here not such tactical warheads.
0:17:09 – 0:17:19 No, they are like worlds, planets, destroyers. This is so exaggerated.
0:17:19 – 0:17:28 And I can understand that Bernie was a bit indignant there. But I mean,
0:17:28 – 0:17:34 Criticism of him is criticism of humanity anyway. What I noticed,
0:17:34 – 0:17:41 simply over time, criticism is now not one of the particular strengths of
0:17:41 – 0:17:50 by Bernie on the balcony. I mean, who likes to hear that you stop here and there a mistake
0:17:50 – 0:17:56 Did and can deal with it? There are people who can do that. In some ways,
0:17:56 – 0:18:04 I also do this when a critique is factual and based on a basis and not only
0:18:04 – 0:18:11 It is a blunt insult. But what stood there was, in addition to the blunt insult,
0:18:11 – 0:18:16 Criticism, but it just went down in the blunt insult and thereupon
0:18:16 – 0:18:24 Bernie reacts very emotionally, which I find totally understandable. That which I did not understand
0:18:24 – 0:18:28 I have, as the chat and above all the callers have made him,
0:18:28 – 0:18:38 Yes, even apologizing that he was too researchy, too impulsive. And there you can just see,
0:18:38 – 0:18:49 What a flag in the wind Bernhard actually is. And there is no reasonable explanation
0:18:49 – 0:18:57 Or a reasonable inference as to why this happened.
0:18:57 – 0:19:03 But just like that, he's given a few thoughts, because he's a few hours
0:19:03 – 0:19:09 later went live again and then just shared his findings with us all.
0:19:09 – 0:19:19 But I also find it simply interesting from the point of view that this is then, because one supposedly
0:19:19 – 0:19:25 is on the good side that then it is perfectly fine if you put forward your argument,
0:19:25 – 0:19:33 throws his values overboard so easily and then holds a completely different opinion.
0:19:33 – 0:19:47 But for others, this is a massive, reprehensible mistake, a life mistake, and the
0:19:47 – 0:19:52 You have to be punished as much as possible and you have to be reminded again and again that you
0:19:52 – 0:19:59 It is morally flexible. I find really very interesting and I think that depends on it
0:19:59 – 0:20:05 Which side of the bubble you're on? Whether you are in the now or not in the, so in
0:20:05 – 0:20:12 Group, out Group, we against the and bla bla bla. That could be hugely disintegrating now.
0:20:12 – 0:20:22 Every now and then I do this on my blog, then I write very detailed and long texts, where I try to explain it as simply as possible.
0:20:22 – 0:20:34 But I also believe that it simply does not arrive at the addressees, because that should not arrive at all, because the mindset is already so.
0:20:34 – 0:20:42 is. Then when I look at actors like, let's take a look at Victoria, the V-perspective,
0:20:42 – 0:20:49 There is no interest in somehow expanding the point of view or anything. The
0:20:49 – 0:20:58 The only effort is to confirm their opinion. And I know what I'm talking about. We were
0:20:58 – 0:21:06 finally several months extremely active in a group, in our group and also privately
0:21:06 – 0:21:12 We were extreme in an exchange. And you get along with how someone like that a little
0:21:12 – 0:21:16 ticking. Of course not the whole picture, where we would be at the first topic block,
0:21:16 – 0:21:23 but only what he wants to present to the outside world. But the feeling,
0:21:23 – 0:21:30 what I had there was already so that it was extremely authentic and that shows a person,
0:21:30 – 0:21:39 which is so devoured by hatred that no other image can permit,
0:21:39 – 0:21:46 except for the confirmation that everything and everyone who has a positive relationship with Frank Butterman,
0:21:46 – 0:21:57 is the most negative and boshafste in the world. Only such things are attributed.
0:21:57 – 0:22:02 It's even that stop in endless podcast formats where we don't even have to be topic
0:22:02 – 0:22:09 should, radio is an issue. And you just notice how full of hatred this person is.
0:22:09 – 0:22:20 Not disappointment, it's sheer hatred. And I believe that because of my
0:22:20 – 0:22:29 Life experience that is now 49 years, I have learned one thing. Hate is by no means
0:22:29 – 0:22:41 a good companion. Hate is something that is destructive. If I don't care about anyone,
0:22:41 – 0:22:49 Indifference, then maybe this is not always empathetic, so compassionate,
0:22:49 – 0:23:01 But hatred is so destructive and so destructive that the one who does this hatred is not good.
0:23:01 – 0:23:10 feels and the one who gets the hatred and all who stand there. I would really be there
0:23:10 – 0:23:17 I wonder if my mindset is okay when I'm so full of hate. One person,
0:23:17 – 0:23:25 who shouldn't really give you shit and if there's something wrong and that's now
0:23:25 – 0:23:33 No professional classification, this is simply human intuitive. Oh God, now I have this
0:23:33 – 0:23:40 wrongly pronounced. Now they make fun of it again. Stupid stroke,
0:23:40 – 0:23:49 Stupid stroke! Stupid stroke! This is something that people feel is wrong.
0:23:49 – 0:23:55 But I think Victoria just doesn't notice that anymore. And there are other forms,
0:23:55 – 0:24:03 Other people with whom it is the same. Here, me, windowsill and what they're all called. The
0:24:03 – 0:24:11 These are the same people who are consumed by hatred. And if this continues,
0:24:11 – 0:24:18 Remains apart from a halfway sizable envelope of humanity, of what they consider to be
0:24:18 – 0:24:26 Specially pointed out, nothing more about, except sheer, sheer hatred. Well,
0:24:26 – 0:24:36 That's just my modest two cents on it. Thank God, not all of us are like that.
0:24:36 – 0:24:41 Thank God, each of us can do a bit of mental hygiene and just do that.
0:24:41 – 0:24:50 Filling life with beautiful things and when Mr. Wagner likes to stand or sit on the balcony
0:24:50 – 0:24:58 and philosophizes about what he just bought and the things full of joy in the camera
0:24:58 – 0:25:06 holds. Everyone can keep what they want from it, but that's by far positive content,
0:25:06 – 0:25:14 Like what other people are saying in the comments section. Sorry, I just had one
0:25:14 – 0:25:20 Frog in the neck. The comment column, definitely. That some people roar in there, that's
0:25:20 – 0:25:33 rather abysmally eaten up by hatred. Well, what's left for us now? Actually not much,
0:25:33 – 0:25:42 Except, say 27 minutes, any waste of time. At best, working time fraud,
0:25:42 – 0:25:50 In the worst case, lifetime that was simply wasted. I thank you for that,
0:25:50 – 0:25:54 I want you to listen and wish you were there next time.
0:25:54 – 0:26:05 And give us permission to publish the content of the butter beer group.
0:26:05 – 0:26:09 Thank you, bye, until next time, your Sasha.
0:26:09 – 0:26:20 Thoughts remain, questions too. Think further, ask further, talk further.
0:26:20 – 0:26:31 That was KlarFunk. Clear, clear, radio, clear radio. Let's talk about it.
0:26:31 – 0:26:37 [Music]

When did psychological education become a tool for publicly stamping other people? And why do some YouTube communities appear to have different moral standards, depending on who is currently affected?

In this episode of KlarFunk Sascha Markmann deals with two developments that at first glance have little to do with each other, but on closer inspection show astonishing parallels.

Psychological terms as a social weapon

Terms such as narcissism, manipulation, trauma or personality disorder have long been part of everyday language on TikTok, YouTube and other social networks. What was originally intended to serve the differentiated description of human experience and behavior is increasingly used as a supposed explanation for every unpleasant encounter.

Based on a video by YouTuber LeFloid, Sascha questions how much well-founded knowledge actually lies behind such statements, why short social media videos often distort complex psychological relationships and what consequences it can have if psychiatric diagnoses are used to publicly devalue people.

It is also about the boundary between normal personality traits and a mental disorder in need of treatment as well as the dangers of supposedly well-intentioned advice on mental illnesses and medications.

When out of conviction suddenly becomes adaptation

The second part focuses on a live stream of Bernie's night café. Critical comments, emotional responses, calls from the community, and a notable change in public position raise questions.

How strongly do viewers and their own social environment influence the opinion of a content creator? When is a change of opinion an expression of honest self-reflection – and when does the impression arise that group pressure sets the direction?

In connection with the reactions to contacts with Frank Battermann, Sascha also highlights how quickly people are attributed to certain camps and why an objective conversation between different positions can already be understood as a supposed breach of loyalty.

Double standards, enemy images and the power of one's own community

Finally, it deals with the mechanisms of ingroup and outgroup, selective perception, lack of critical capacity and the destructive effect of persistent hostility.

Why is comparable behavior excused for some, while for others it is permanently considered a moral failure? And what happens to a community when it is no longer arguments but affiliation that determines which opinion is accepted?

A sequence about psychological half-knowledge, public attributions, group dynamics, and the need to look at people in a more nuanced way.

KlarFunk – Not just loud. Questioning. Let's talk about it.

Person with smartphone, from whose glowing display a brain, puzzle pieces, hearts and medical symbols rise

Topics of this episode

Therapy language on social media: Why psychological terms on TikTok, YouTube and in comment columns are increasingly used to evaluate and devalue other people.
Psychological enlightenment or dangerous half-knowledge? How greatly simplified short videos can distort complex relationships and why a self-confident appearance does not yet mean professional competence.
Narcissism between personality trait and disorder: Why individual behaviors do not justify a psychiatric diagnosis and why a differentiated view of the human being is necessary.
When psychiatric diagnoses become a weapon: How people are stigmatized by attributions and supposed remote diagnoses and why this is particularly problematic for those actually affected.
Mental illnesses and medications in comment columns: What risks arise when personal experiences are passed on as universal medical recommendations.
Bernie's night café and an emotional livestream: How critical viewer comments, conflicts within a community and contact with Frank Battermann trigger a public discussion.
The influence of chat and callers: How the reactions of the audience can affect a content creator and which questions arise from a conspicuous change of opinion.
Change of opinion or double standards? Why comparable behavior is evaluated differently within different YouTube camps and what role personal loyalties play in this.
If conversations are considered treason: Why communication with people from a supposedly opposing camp can already provoke mistrust, insinuation and rejection.
Ingroup, Outgroup and the We-against-the-Think: How digital communities develop enemy images, confirm their own point of view and increasingly hide critical perspectives.
Criticism and escalation in comment columns: Where factual criticism ends, personal attacks begin and why insults, intimidation and public devaluations do not replace constructive discussion.
Hatred as a permanent companion: What effects persistent hostility can have on one's own thinking, interpersonal relationships and the entire climate of discussion.
More differentiation instead of rash judgments: Why it can be useful to endure contradictions, to allow other perspectives and not to judge people exclusively by their group affiliation.

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Number of downloads: 105
Duration: 0:26:38
Date of admission: 08.10.26
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.

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Between Light and Darkness: How to better understand and dismantle black-and-white thinking in borderline symptoms

"What's behind Borderline's black-and-white thinking? Find out why splitting occurs and how you can use specific DBT strategies to allow emotional shades of grey.”

Those who live with borderline symptoms or love a person who struggles with them may know these moments: Just there was still close, suddenly everything is in danger. This text is not intended to condemn, but to make it clear why this is happening – and how to find more nuances step by step.

Overcoming inner emptiness and loneliness: When borderline feels like a hole inside

“Why inner emptiness can be so tormenting at Borderline – and how self-care, structure, creativity and secure connection can help.”

There are pains that can be easily explained to other people. A broken arm can be X-rayed, the plaster is the visible proof of the injury. A bleeding wound can be disinfected and connected. A loud dispute has concrete words, a loss has a clear name and a socially accepted time of mourning.

Outbursts of anger under control: When the Volcano Awakens - A Deep Guide to Dealing with Sudden Aggression in BPS

“A wrong word, a look – and inside everything explodes. Behind this anger is often not malice, but fear, pain and overload. This article shows what lies behind it and what can help.”

It often happens within milliseconds: A false word, a fleeting, misunderstood look or a supposed rejection – and suddenly the heat shoots into the head. The world narrows into a tunnel, the heart races, blood pressure rises, and before the mind can intervene, anger bursts forth with destructive force. Words are fired like sharp arrows, doors are slammed, or anger is autodestructively directed against one's own person.

How to Recognize Early Warning Signs of a Borderline Relationship

"Checklists and leading indicators to identify problematic dynamics in a timely manner"

introduction

Relationships are one of the most important areas of life for most people. You can give security, joy and deep closeness. However, not every relationship is harmonious – sometimes dynamics arise that are stressful for both sides. Especially if one of the partners Borderline personality disorder (BPS) There are often very intense and contradictory patterns.

When feelings become overwhelmed: Dealing with emotional crises at Borderline

"Practical tips, explanations & emergency strategies - for affected persons and relatives"

The aim of this extended guide is to: deepen each chapter, supplement examples, explain backgrounds and say in each case, why That's important. You'll also get checklists, mini-scripts, an emergency card, and a day-to-day prevention system.

Silent Silence 003 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders – When Thoughts Become Torment

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transcript
00:00 - 0:00:26 Hello and welcome to a new edition of Quiet Silence.
0:00:26 – 0:00:38 I'm Sascha Markmann and I say hello. Today's topic is obsessive-compulsive disorder. constraints;
0:00:38 – 0:00:47 For many, this sounds completely harmless for the first time, like a kind of order sky or the urge to
0:00:47 – 0:00:59 to check them all twice, but there is something much more complex behind them, namely obsessive thoughts,
0:00:59 – 0:01:08 Coercive acts and an inner, truly real struggle that can go so far as to lead to a
0:01:08 – 0:01:17 Stress in everyday life becomes a massive burden, because fears, feelings of guilt, the
0:01:17 – 0:01:24 It can create a pressure that is hard to bear. But what are constraints at all?
0:01:24 – 0:01:32 Obsessive-compulsive disorder typically consists of two components. On the one hand, they are obsessive thoughts,
0:01:32 – 0:01:43 This can be, for example, intrusive, unwanted thoughts or images that are directed against the one
0:01:43 – 0:01:51 Pushing will into the head. Often it is about violence, religion, sexuality or even conspiracies
0:01:51 – 0:02:01 and the other are compulsive acts, quasi rituals or actions that are performed in response to
0:02:01 – 0:02:10 These thoughts are carried out to neutralize fear or avoid unhappiness.
0:02:10 – 0:02:19 Such examples would be, for example, someone has the thought, if I do not check the stove twice,
0:02:19 – 0:02:27 Could burn down the apartment. This leads to ritualized behavior. Each time he must
0:02:27 – 0:02:32 Stove controlled, not once, but twice. I even know people who do this.
0:02:32 – 0:02:40 magic numbers, i.e. three times and the whole thing must then be repeated three times. So
0:02:40 – 0:02:48 In the end, they checked the stove nine times. I once had a partner with whom
0:02:48 – 0:02:56 I was together for a good three years, which has also really checked very closely whether the stove from
0:02:56 – 0:03:01 is whether the kettle is off and whether the water is turned off from the washing machine
0:03:01 – 0:03:08 and dishwasher and so on. And all this was repeated several times. What distinguishes
0:03:08 – 0:03:17 Are there any tics or routines? Clearly the pressure of suffering. Because if you have this
0:03:17 – 0:03:26 If you don't follow up on compulsions, there is a pressure of suffering because you haven't done that, because then you have to stop.
0:03:26 – 0:03:33 The fear comes, there is an unhappiness, to set the whole thing apart from tics and routines.
0:03:33 – 0:03:43 Tics, such as blinking or sugars, are rather neurological and unreal.
0:03:43 – 0:03:49 So you do not make it somehow conscious, but it comes from the vegetative nervous system
0:03:49 – 0:03:58 system or through any cross-connections in the brain or small short circuits on the
0:03:58 – 0:04:10 Nerve tract and yes, it's awkward when you have it. For example, I had a time
0:04:10 – 0:04:18 It's a really bad murder. So that's kind of a shaking and I can halfway
0:04:18 – 0:04:24 Imagine what it's like to have such tics now, because I couldn't turn it off either. I could
0:04:24 – 0:04:31 I just couldn't hold my arm still and it was pretty uncomfortable. routines. How to Border Now
0:04:31 – 0:04:37 Are there any constraints on routines? Yeah, that's easy, too. Routines are kind of like that.
0:04:37 – 0:04:48 Habits and rituals. But they are voluntary. So you've gotten used to these things because
0:04:48 – 0:04:56 It also seems reassuring. They give structure, but most importantly, they are voluntary.
0:04:56 – 0:05:02 It's not bad if you don't do this ritual. For example, sleep rituals. Yes,
0:05:02 – 0:05:06 You can also fall asleep without the ritual, but of course it is more beautiful with the ritual.
0:05:06 – 0:05:15 Yes, and then there are constraints. Compulsions are excruciating, definitely. They're not fun. They will
0:05:15 – 0:05:23 Although the person concerned knows that it is actually total nonsense or irrational.
0:05:23 – 0:05:31 But the fear of missing something or triggering a catastrophe is much stronger than
0:05:31 – 0:05:36 what you do – even if you know rationally that it is nonsense – that's a lot
0:05:36 – 0:05:44 Stronger than reason. Typical examples from everyday life. I already have some of them myself
0:05:44 – 0:05:53 Experience less with other people and others. Washing obligation, i.e. up to 50 times or
0:05:53 – 0:06:01 more a day to wash your hands, for fear of transmitting any bacteria and germs
0:06:01 – 0:06:08 Or get infected. I know people who wash all their food several times a day,
0:06:08 – 0:06:17 Fear that something will arise. This is also difficult, even as a person standing next to it.
0:06:17 – 0:06:23 Control constraints, as I said, a former partner of mine, control constraints can
0:06:23 – 0:06:31 Light, doors, faucet, stove, fuse box, everything must be checked several times. And
0:06:31 – 0:06:36 And woe to him, something is not as it should be.
0:06:36 – 0:06:39 It could end in a little drama.
0:06:39 – 0:06:40 Yes, yes.
0:06:40 – 0:06:45 It's just a number squeezer.
0:06:45 – 0:06:49 Certain numbers have to be reached in order to achieve a misfortune.
0:06:49 – 0:06:53 As I said, do the same procedure three times three times.
0:06:53 – 0:06:59 Because three is a magic number and multiples of it are all the more magical.
0:06:59 – 0:07:01 Seven has such a strange number.
0:07:01 – 0:07:09 What some people do too. The higher the number, the more often you repeat. This
0:07:09 – 0:07:15 can take a long time. Something I haven't experienced so far is
0:07:15 – 0:07:26 Obsessive thoughts. Impulses to hurt someone, even though you would never do that, stuff broke
0:07:26 – 0:07:41 What else is there to steal, there is everything. This can be done legally and with the
0:07:41 – 0:07:50 The law has a lot of problems. I know people who are under some sort of buying compulsion.
0:07:50 – 0:07:58 have suffered, which have first of all totally indebted and on the other hand in several shops then stop
0:07:58 – 0:08:06 They had a house ban and almost had problems with their everyday life, because if you were in the
0:08:06 – 0:08:11 The only grocery store in town that can't even go shopping, then you have a problem.
0:08:11 – 0:08:23 Religious compulsions, there are and prayer and moral self-control I have at a
0:08:23 – 0:08:31 I have experienced my own hospital stays, how this is and I can only say that the person was
0:08:31 – 0:08:38 This is really good, because she did it with fervor and devotion. I found it rather
0:08:38 – 0:08:45 It's annoying because they were always involved involuntarily. Now as a human being,
0:08:45 – 0:08:54 who was baptized Catholic but never really lived religiously – I have
0:08:54 – 0:09:01 all rituals took place in this way, except confirmation – there is no such connection. And if I
0:09:01 – 0:09:10 If I imagine that there is God, then this is someone who has quite a bit of humor and just like in Dogma the movie.
0:09:10 – 0:09:18 God laughs at people's faces during sex.
0:09:18 – 0:09:25 This is how I imagine God. It was just fun for him. That's amusing what's happening here on Earth.
0:09:25 – 0:09:34 Okay, back to the subject. These constraints are simply not voluntary. They don't push it
0:09:34 – 0:09:40 character of a person. They are simply symptoms of a disease. And that's what it is.
0:09:40 – 0:09:48 As soon as something becomes a burden, a burden, because you have to do something, even if it
0:09:48 – 0:09:57 It's just fitting. It is a serious illness and should be treated.
0:09:57 – 0:10:11 What is actually behind it? What are the three main emotions that dominate? This is once
0:10:11 – 0:10:20 Fear of something bad happening, guilt, feeling responsible for possible disasters
0:10:20 – 0:10:31 to be and quasi the responsibility, often an exaggerated sense of responsibility for
0:10:31 – 0:10:38 others. Of course, this also becomes a burden if you constantly feel responsible for others.
0:10:38 – 0:10:43 Typical thoughts would be, for example, if I did not make this one move,
0:10:43 – 0:10:51 It's my fault if something happens. This idea acts like an alarm system in continuous operation,
0:10:51 – 0:10:58 Even when there is no longer any cause for concern. As I said, several
0:10:58 – 0:11:04 Control of all sorts of things, constant hand washing, because possibly could.
0:11:04 – 0:11:13 What actually helps? Obsessive-compulsive disorders are definitely treatable. It is not
0:11:13 – 0:11:20 Quick solution, but there are clear strategies on how to deal with it. On the one hand, it is
0:11:20 – 0:11:33 behavioral therapy, especially the method of exposure with reaction avoidance.
0:11:33 – 0:11:43 She has shown in studies that this treatment method helps very well. It's the confrontation with them.
0:11:43 – 0:11:53 Triggering, for example, that I have dirty hands and I have to wash my hand first. Then comes,
0:11:53 – 0:12:02 The coercive action is not carried out. The brain learns that what could happen
0:12:02 – 0:12:08 The catastrophe, the bad event. I'm getting sick now. It doesn't happen.
0:12:08 – 0:12:17 The next approach would be mindfulness techniques. Learning to perceive thoughts without them
0:12:17 – 0:12:26 to follow automatically. An example would be that I have these thoughts, but I don't have to act on them.
0:12:26 – 0:12:34 So if I now, to stick to the example in my hands, if I have internalized,
0:12:34 – 0:12:40 that if my hands are a little dirty, I don't automatically get sick from it,
0:12:40 – 0:12:49 Because I learned that if I don't act, I won't get sick.
0:12:49 – 0:12:56 The next option, of course, is drug treatment. In particularly severe
0:12:56 – 0:13:04 Cases help selective serotonin reuptake hammers. They are like that in the classical sense.
0:13:04 – 0:13:12 "Antidepressants" in general. They act almost in the brain, exactly at the
0:13:12 – 0:13:20 interface of the individual neurons, where serotonin is in the synaptic gap and that
0:13:20 – 0:13:28 it is then resumed again, is prevented because the docking station is blocked
0:13:28 – 0:13:35 is. And so simply more serotonin is freely available in the synaptic gap and the
0:13:35 – 0:13:44 This is because the frequency of how often one has to think of these obsessive thoughts can be reduced. But how
0:13:44 – 0:13:53 In other words, it's actually an antidepressant. But as is so often the case, various
0:13:53 – 0:14:01 Medications that were conceived for completely different purposes, in other diseases. What to do
0:14:01 – 0:14:09 But in any case, it is necessary to be aware that obsessive-compulsive thoughts do not simply happen overnight.
0:14:09 – 0:14:20 disappear. But they can be disempowered and if you have learned that nothing bad
0:14:20 – 0:14:27 If you don't follow the constraints, it loses power over you.
0:14:27 – 0:14:39 Changes life. Why is this topic so important to me? Constraints also belong to the borderline spectrum.
0:14:39 – 0:14:49 As I said, I am myself someone who has a diagnosis, borderline personality or
0:14:49 – 0:14:58 Emotionally incredulous personality about the borderline and have a bit of a struggle with it themselves.
0:14:58 – 0:15:09 In my case, yes, how can I say that, although not particularly pronounced, but if I
0:15:09 – 0:15:15 When I've done things, I just feel safer. Maybe it's more rituals.
0:15:15 – 0:15:23 as a compulsion. Because it doesn't bother me, I don't necessarily see it as worthy of treatment.
0:15:23 – 0:15:29 If it were different, I'd be thinking about it. But it's important to me to say,
0:15:29 – 0:15:39 Constraints are not splices. It is not a matter of order and certainly not voluntary. I know so many
0:15:39 – 0:15:50 People who suffer from compulsions,
0:15:50 – 0:15:53 And they suffer in silence because of
0:15:53 – 0:15:56 Experiences that you have experienced in the course of your
0:15:56 – 0:15:59 Life has been made, you will not
0:15:59 – 0:16:02 Take It Seriously Or Take It
0:16:02 – 0:16:05 Funny about one or you'll be for
0:16:05 – 0:16:09 kept insane. I mean, if someone
0:16:05 – 0:16:10 Hands 20 times in a row
0:16:10 – 0:16:13 washes, so that almost no more skin
0:16:13 – 0:16:14 It's on your fingers, and you're going to
0:16:14 – 0:16:18 It's crazy because a normal person
0:16:18 – 0:16:21 Don't do that. And it's me
0:16:21 – 0:16:25 important, with the format "The quiet silence"
0:16:25 – 0:16:28 educating about various
0:16:28 – 0:16:32 Psychological illnesses, sometimes also
0:16:28 – 0:16:37 neurological diseases, because the stigma of what these diseases have, because they are on the
0:16:37 – 0:16:46 Hidden in silence or not visible, is far too great. How often do I come across understanding
0:16:46 – 0:16:52 because of my physical disability, which I retained after the stroke,
0:16:52 – 0:17:00 But how often do I run into incomprehension when I say I'm not going to the Christmas market?
0:17:00 – 0:17:02 Dortmund, because it's too many people for me.
0:17:02 – 0:17:12 And with the experience I have with this stigma and lack of understanding,
0:17:12 – 0:17:15 I would like to do some educational work.
0:17:15 – 0:17:22 It is important for me to say that we need more empathy in society.
0:17:22 – 0:17:27 Those who experience compulsions live out.
0:17:27 – 0:17:32 He fights daily against what's going on in his head.
0:17:32 – 0:17:39 And this is a strenuous struggle, something that robs forces.
0:17:39 – 0:17:44 And if I can't go after that compulsion, then I'm really suffering.
0:17:44 – 0:17:52 What's going on in the minds of the people who are in this situation is incredible.
0:17:52 – 0:17:58 Of any catastrophes, of any bad upheavals.
0:17:58 – 0:18:02 The house burns down because I forgot to turn off the stove.
0:18:02 – 0:18:09 The apartment is flooded because I forgot the faucet from the washing machine
0:18:09 – 0:18:11 Turn off and the hose will burst.
0:18:11 – 0:18:20 These are, of course, real dangers. This can happen, but what is the probability or how high is the frequency?
0:18:20 – 0:18:28 Therefore, these fears are completely exaggerated. But who lives these fears, for him this is real.
0:18:28 – 0:18:33 And that's important to me to clarify.
0:18:33 – 0:18:43 If you know someone or yourself
0:18:43 – 0:18:47 Don't wait, don't wait,
0:18:47 – 0:18:49 Help or seek help if you
0:18:49 – 0:18:50 You can't go to the doctor alone
0:18:50 – 0:18:55 Or if you know someone who doesn't
0:18:55 – 0:19:00 can. It is so important,
0:19:00 – 0:19:02 that you get support and
0:19:00 – 0:19:10 Perhaps the first point of contact is your family doctor, that you talk to him about it or accompany someone to encourage them to talk about it.
0:19:10 – 0:19:24 And be certain that you are not alone. There are many people who suffer from it, who talk about it on the Internet, in various forums, groups, on Facebook and hatefully seen.
0:19:24 – 0:19:29 Some talk about it more openly, others behind a pseudonym.
0:19:29 – 0:19:36 But there is so much support, so many offers and I can only recommend you to use it.
0:19:36 – 0:19:43 In my first time with my borderline diagnosis and also the suspicion that I have borderline,
0:19:43 – 0:19:48 I read a lot about it on the internet,
0:19:48 – 0:20:01 I just found a great group, a chat where I could exchange a lot and that gave me so much strength and energy that it was worth gold.
0:20:01 – 0:20:08 And now I'd just say we're pretty much through with the episode.
0:20:08 – 0:20:17 If you know someone who suffers from it, you may want to show them the episode.
0:20:17 – 0:20:23 Thank you for listening to me up to this point.
0:20:23 – 0:20:33 And I'd say in one of the next episodes we're talking about dissocialization or
0:20:33 – 0:20:45 Dissociation, one of the two, or emotional numbness. I have these three themes on the
0:20:45 – 0:20:52 Agenda. So stay healthy, take care of yourselves, bye, your Sasha.
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In this episode of Quiet silence Sascha talks about a topic that is often ridiculed or misunderstood: Obsessive-compulsive disorder. What many consider to be a harmless orderly skirmish is, in reality, a serious internal struggle – between fear, guilt and an overpowering urge to prevent disasters.

Sascha explains easily what is behind Compulsive thoughts and Compulsory acts How they differ from tics or routines and why the suffering pressure is often so great. Personal experiences, concrete examples from everyday life and insights into therapeutic possibilities such as exposure training, mindfulness and drug treatment make this episode particularly tangible.

In addition, Sascha shows how much compulsions with other mental illnesses – e.g. Borderline – can be linked, and why education is so important to reduce prejudice.

If you are affected yourself or know someone who suffers from compulsions: You're not alone. There's help. And it is not a sign of weakness to use them.

Thematic breakdown

Introduction to the topic
– What are obsessive-compulsive disorders really?
– Why the term is often trivialised
Compulsive Thoughts and Compulsive Actions
– Intrusive, unwanted thoughts
– Typical content (violence, religion, sexuality, etc.)
– ‘Anti-hazard’ rituals
Examples from everyday life
– Control constraints (e.g. stove, water, doors)
– Obligation to wash, obligation to pay
– Religious compulsions and buying compulsions
Distinction from tics and routines
– Neurological tics: Involuntary, vegetative
– Routines: Voluntary, not burdensome
– The decisive factor: Suffering pressure
Own experiences and observations
– Personal relationship with someone subject to control
– Own rituals vs. treatment-needed constraints
Background and emotional causes
– Dominant feelings: Fear, guilt, exaggerated responsibility
– Thought patterns: ‘If I don’t do X, Y happens’
Therapeutic options
– Behavioral therapy (reaction-preventing exposure)
– Mindfulness techniques
– Medicinal treatment (SSRI)
Appeal against stigma
– Why compulsions are not a mockery or weakness of character
– The importance of empathy and understanding
– Parallels to other invisible diseases
Find and offer help
– First contact points
– Importance of self-help and online communities
– Motivation for self-help and support
Outlook on upcoming topics
– Dissociation
– emotional numbness
– Other mental and neurological diseases
adoption
– Personal thanks
– Closing words and music

📚 Further literature on Amazon (Affiliate ‑Links)

Unforced happiness - Self-help book

A hands-on self-help book with easy-to-understand exercises to identify and control obsessive-compulsive thoughts – ideal for starting to cope with constraints on your own.

Understanding and managing obsessive-compulsive disorders (balance)

Edited by Susanne Fricke and Iver Hand, this guide offers well-founded support with clear steps and everyday tips for self-help.

Show the red card to the compulsion

A book tailored to children, adolescents and their parents from the Balance series, practice-oriented with many case studies and exercises .

Self-help for mild obsessive-compulsive disorder and addictive behavior

A compact guide over 60 pages – ideal for those who want to get started actively and without therapy with lighter constraints.

Note about Affiliate ‑Links:
The links appear with Affiliate ‑Tracking, which does not cost you anything extra – but helps me to provide further recommendations.

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Constraints in everyday life – When thoughts become a burden. - LautFunk

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Number of downloads: 238
Playing time: 0:24:13
Date of admission: 13.07.25
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.

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Borderline is not Borderline

"Why are so many men with Borderline not recognized?
Because anger, drugs and withdrawal do not fit into the classic picture.”

Why men are often affected differently than women – and what this has to do with the impulsive type

Many people immediately think of vulnerable, emotionally unstable young women in Borderline. But that is only part of the truth. Because the so-called Borderline personality disorder (BPS) is often very different for men – and is therefore often overlooked or misclassified. Even within the official diagnosis ‘Emotionally unstable personality disorder of the impulsive type“There are gender differences that are rarely addressed.

Hello here is Leon from TALNEWS, thank you for the nice conversation. Again and again gladly! :)

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Thematic breakdown

📚 Further literature on Amazon (Affiliate ‑Links)

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