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First Aid for Difficult Relationship Moments

“How to keep a cool head in crisis situations – and meet your counterpart with heart”

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Relationships are among the most beautiful but also most challenging experiences of our lives. They give us closeness, security and deep connection, but they also bring with them misunderstandings, disputes and painful moments. Two people, two worlds of experience, two unique personalities meet. It is only natural that there are conflicts from time to time.

The digression 49 Perfection – publishing instead of despairing

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00:00 - 0:00:22 Hello and welcome to an edition of the digression, where I occasionally, actually
0:00:22 – 0:00:31 Always deviate from the topic. Please excuse my voice, I'm still a bit
0:00:31 – 0:00:39 Afflicted or again. Actually, since shortly after Christmas until now somehow continuous.
0:00:39 – 0:00:55 Something that really annoys me. But, well, that's it. Today's theme is perfectionism.
0:00:55 – 0:01:07 Yes, I suffer from perfectionism myself, but I have taught myself to say at some point,
0:01:07 – 0:01:18 Now it's done. I had to painfully teach myself this after my stroke.
0:01:18 – 0:01:34 I had to relearn everything. I had to swallow, sit, walk, talk. I had a word-finding disorder
0:01:34 – 0:01:41 And I know now when people say yes, but without that incentive to do better,
0:01:41 – 0:01:48 If you weren't where you are today. Because I also said to myself,
0:01:48 – 0:01:55 You have a success now, and that's good. So I know you still have something
0:01:55 – 0:02:04 can improve here and there
0:02:04 – 0:02:06 can optimize. Even now, yes, I have
0:02:06 – 0:02:11 Again and again, word-finding problems
0:02:11 – 0:02:14 Doing it and since my
0:02:14 – 0:02:18 I just have a stroke for myself.
0:02:18 – 0:02:20 I realized that no matter how much
0:02:20 – 0:02:23 Work and energy I put into something
0:02:20 – 0:02:27 I'm stuck. At some point I have to say that's good because it doesn't change. And so was
0:02:27 – 0:02:36 It's also about the blog, the podcast, the videos I've made, the music I'm making.
0:02:36 – 0:02:47 I've been tinkering with something for so long before the stroke, as long as I've been trying to
0:02:47 – 0:02:53 I have to tell you, yes, I have to do better,
0:02:53 – 0:02:56 Something needs to be optimised here, because
0:02:56 – 0:03:00 Something else I'll never finish
0:03:00 – 0:03:00 I have become. And
0:03:00 – 0:03:09 Now I think, yeah, that's okay,
0:03:09 – 0:03:13 That's good, you can get out. I have
0:03:13 – 0:03:15 Previous Eternities on a Blog Text
0:03:13 – 0:03:18 sat down. And then there's the fact that I'm
0:03:18 – 0:03:21 dyslexic, there are many
0:03:21 – 0:03:24 Spelling errors in it. I had to make it to
0:03:24 – 0:03:27 Give correction. They sometimes have
0:03:27 – 0:03:30 Something grammatically changed as well.
0:03:30 – 0:03:33 Then I changed something again, then
0:03:33 – 0:03:38 That went back. I mean, I'm
0:03:38 – 0:03:38 Thank you for the help, no doubt.
0:03:39 – 0:03:44 The MTC did a lot at the time, until one day he said,
0:03:44 – 0:03:48 I can't do that anymore, so that's too much.
0:03:48 – 0:03:53 And I also understand that at some point it will be too much.
0:03:53 – 0:04:01 But I was never satisfied with the lyrics or the videos.
0:04:01 – 0:04:06 So I tried something and here and so to change something, there to optimize something.
0:04:07 – 0:04:23 99,999999 Period the perfect mix, the perfect picture in the video, the perfect graphics, the perfect
0:04:23 – 0:04:29 I could write, I would never have been satisfied. And when I think about how much energy
0:04:29 – 0:04:37 I put in this stuff, how much time, just to make it a little bit better
0:04:37 – 0:04:44 to make. In the end, it just meant that I never really finished anything.
0:04:44 – 0:04:52 Because I thought it wasn't good. It's not good enough. And I see that too
0:04:52 – 0:05:01 in my environment. I have colleagues with whom I do a podcast. At least one of them is
0:05:01 – 0:05:10 He's super brilliant in terms of music. He has so much more musicality in the little
0:05:10 – 0:05:15 Fingers, like me in my whole body. But because he always thinks somehow,
0:05:15 – 0:05:24 That's not good enough, that's not perfect, there's nothing coming. I also know to my part,
0:05:24 – 0:05:29 I could get a lot out of my music. I could still hear my sound
0:05:29 – 0:05:37 what optimize, the instruments, the mix. But I said to myself, if I'm there now
0:05:37 – 0:05:43 Experimenting on a thing for months, I'll never publish anything. And now
0:05:43 – 0:05:54 I'll go and say it's done, it's out. And so I have been publishing for some time
0:05:54 – 0:06:07 Music regularly. It's not successful, but I'm publishing it. And now we had in
0:06:07 – 0:06:13 Trial podcast a guest who said he's having so much trouble finishing his current album.
0:06:13 – 0:06:20 That he still has two or three songs, where he already has an exact idea of,
0:06:20 – 0:06:25 but that just can't be done, this stops so according to his ideas
0:06:25 – 0:06:33 to produce. Yes, and I solve the problem for myself, I don't make an album anymore.
0:06:33 – 0:06:41 I've tried it before, so 10, 12 songs, all of which are so in a subject area,
0:06:41 – 0:06:48 Maybe even tell a story. I don't do that anymore because I don't
0:06:48 – 0:06:58 Get there. So I release a maximum of one EP with 5, 6, sometimes 7 in the title, because when
0:06:58 – 0:07:07 I then told the story or produced this concept, then it's done,
0:07:07 – 0:07:15 Then it goes out. Most of what I publish are singles or EPs with
0:07:15 – 0:07:24 2 L titles. Yeah, what am I supposed to say about that? I could stay there for months, if not years.
0:07:24 – 0:07:33 I didn't get it before, neither in painting nor in writing,
0:07:33 – 0:07:43 to do more with my videos than labervideos, because for everything else
0:07:43 – 0:07:52 I had too few skills, too few skills, to get what I have in mind for an idea,
0:07:52 – 0:07:58 to implement it. And there you could say yes again, yes then practice and practice and practice and practice.
0:07:58 – 0:08:07 No, then I'd rather do something that I can stop, where the result is okay or
0:08:07 – 0:08:16 Good, not perfect, but good, and I pulled it out. This is also the case with block texts.
0:08:16 – 0:08:24 I used to put that in the energy and now I write it or dictate it,
0:08:24 – 0:08:32 is called Legasthenica, it's always such a thing, and then just give it to Chat-GBT and then I say
0:08:32 – 0:08:40 Please correct this and where there are grammar errors, correct them. Yes, then I get the text
0:08:40 – 0:08:45 back, then I go through it again, make a change here and there, leave it also
0:08:45 – 0:08:54 Correct again and then I have the finished text. That's 99% of my text.
0:08:54 – 0:09:03 I wrote, just without mistakes. And that's exactly how I do it with all the other things
0:09:03 – 0:09:12 Also. I no longer have this claim to publish something that needs to be super perfect.
0:09:12 – 0:09:20 I see this with my partner as well. She is such a creative person. When she writes texts,
0:09:20 – 0:09:26 Then she can sit there until the text is perfect.
0:09:26 – 0:09:32 But sometimes she has such a break in style in the middle of the rhyme structure,
0:09:32 – 0:09:39 which I find interesting right now, which would make the finished song interesting,
0:09:39 – 0:09:43 because I can build something around it musically,
0:09:43 – 0:09:46 As if it's super smooth.
0:09:46 – 0:09:49 I think you know what I mean.
0:09:49 – 0:09:55 The same goes for the pictures they take.
0:09:55 – 0:09:58 I say that, wow, that's great, that's really horny.
0:09:58 – 0:10:01 And she, yes, it's not perfect.
0:10:01 – 0:10:07 Yes, but if she delivers something not perfect
0:10:07 – 0:10:10 And then you have to do it perfectly,
0:10:10 – 0:10:12 She will never deliver anything,
0:10:12 – 0:10:17 Because you get lost in small things, in details.
0:10:17 – 0:10:25 And I see that with many people in my circle of acquaintances that they always think that's not good enough.
0:10:25 – 0:10:35 When my partner, Sarah, asks an acquaintance of her own, who makes music himself, who writes rap texts and also raps,
0:10:35 – 0:10:41 "You, how do you think that?" He always says, "You have to do this here, you have to change that."
0:10:41 – 0:10:50 She then goes there and always tries to implement it. Sure, such positive feedback or
0:10:50 – 0:10:58 Critical feedback, which is positive, is super important and valuable, only there comes again and again
0:10:58 – 0:11:02 No, here, you can do better and I'd do it differently and this here and this there.
0:11:02 – 0:11:08 In the end, it will not be finished. Then I'd rather have something that's good,
0:11:08 – 0:11:19 But it works like something that's perfect, but never finished. I hope you can mine
0:11:19 – 0:11:26 Thoughts about this follow. It is so that I until 2016, until the stroke,
0:11:26 – 0:11:32 I acted the same way. I got critical feedback from friends, acquaintances,
0:11:32 – 0:11:52 Those who have now not so "yes, that's all great what you do", but who have also given me an honest opinion and taken this feedback into account and then have always been very unsure that what I do is not good enough, not perfect.
0:11:52 – 0:11:57 And so I have many things, just eternities. I sometimes have weeks for a text,
0:11:57 – 0:12:02 I then have several texts so that I can publish regularly,
0:12:02 – 0:12:07 had parallel, which were just in the process, because that was sent back and forth,
0:12:07 – 0:12:12 or where I have made corrections or improvements,
0:12:12 – 0:12:20 I've done so much work, so much time, and it's never been good enough.
0:12:20 – 0:12:23 And that's a very big, really super big mistake.
0:12:23 – 0:12:30 When I look at it today, I'm just thinking.
0:12:30 – 0:12:37 Well, now you're doing better because now you're putting out content on a regular basis.
0:12:37 – 0:12:41 The podcasts come out regularly, but here's really flatbed.
0:12:41 – 0:12:44 The texts are coming.
0:12:44 – 0:12:47 The blog is fired up.
0:12:47 – 0:12:54 I don't make videos on YouTube anymore, we already talked about why,
0:12:54 – 0:13:04 But if I did, I would too. As far as I can produce,
0:13:04 – 0:13:14 It's good to be able to publish it. And that's why I've been for weeks
0:13:14 – 0:13:22 regularly publish music, for a long time stop the various podcast projects,
0:13:22 – 0:13:32 the blog, and I just see the results and I get critical feedback,
0:13:32 – 0:13:40 Yes, the fence could be a bit better here, the settings, the and the effect would still have to be
0:13:40 – 0:13:46 be done a little differently,
0:13:46 – 0:13:48 I get so many positives back that
0:13:48 – 0:13:51 People like that they do this.
0:13:51 – 0:13:53 I think it's great that I say yes to them.
0:13:53 – 0:13:56 The decision was right. Let
0:13:56 – 0:13:58 this perfectionism, Sascha, simply
0:13:58 – 0:14:01 Let's step aside a bit and
0:14:01 – 0:14:03 Rejoice that you have done something
0:14:03 – 0:14:07 You did. Because I used to
0:14:03 – 0:14:11 It's not. I never finished anything because it was never perfect. And I find it sad,
0:14:11 – 0:14:17 I had to have a stroke to change that. And that's the point for me,
0:14:17 – 0:14:25 because I have done so much differently in my life through this blatant experience and have
0:14:25 – 0:14:33 I learned so much new things that today I am at the point where I can say,
0:14:33 – 0:14:39 You've benefited from it, even if you've lost so much. Have you got it on the other
0:14:39 – 0:14:49 Does the side benefit? That's what I said at 48. Thank you for stopping in this
0:14:49 – 0:14:54 I listened to it again and listened to it until the end. I would be glad if you also have a
0:14:54 – 0:15:02 the other productions from Lautfunk Publishing Cartel would listen or read.
0:15:02 – 0:15:09 There is a blog where psychological topics, but also topics that interest me,
0:15:09 – 0:15:16 be treated. There are several podcast formats. There's the trial podcast,
0:15:16 – 0:15:23 if you are enthusiastic about music production from the point of view of a hobby musician.
0:15:23 – 0:15:33 Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I'll say thank you for being there
0:15:33 – 0:15:36 and until next time. Goodbye, Sasha.
0:15:36 – 0:15:51 [Music]

Description:

Still not good enough? A little more work, a little more work – and at the end of the day, the project is over. Does that sound familiar to you? In this very personal episode of ‘deviation’, I talk about a topic that accompanies many creatives like a shadow: perfectionism.

I tell you why I never got anything done before, how much energy I put into details that no one notices – and what has changed fundamentally since my stroke.

Today I prefer to publish imperfect music, texts and podcasts – but I publish them. You can see why this was a liberation blow for me, how I deal with feedback and why I believe that ‘good enough’ is sometimes better than ‘perfect’ in this digression.

Perhaps this episode will help you to question your own relationship with creativity and your claim to yourself. And who knows, maybe you'll finally finish your project. Just as it is. Because it's enough.

Topics Outline

Welcome & health condition
- Voice slapped
- Sick all the time since Christmas
Introduction to the topic: perfectionism
- My own concern
- Previous behaviour: never satisfied, never finished
Stroke as a turning point
- Relearn everything: Speaking, swallowing, walking
- Findings: "It has to be good enough at some point"
Creative work before stroke
- Blog texts: Perpetual revisions
- dyslexia & correction loops
- Third-party assistance (e.g. Emtycee)
Energy loss due to continuous optimization
- Videos, lyrics, music never finished
- Perfection as a brake
Example from the environment
- Colleague with great musicality, but inhibition of publication
New approach to music projects
- No more albums, singles or short EPs
- Focus on ‘getting ready’ instead of ‘making perfect’
A general view of creative projects
- Painting, texts, videos – often unfinished in the past
- Today I prefer to work in the possibilities that are realistic
Working today (e.g. with AI)
- Dictating texts, correction with ChatGPT
- Objective: Publish, not perfect
Observations with the partner (Sarah)
- Breaks in style, creative details
- Feedback issues: Too much criticism
Criticism of perfectionism in the circle of acquaintances
- Example of a musician with too much feedback
- The desire for perfection as a blockage
Looking back at the period before 2016
- Many started, never finished projects
- Critical feedback often led to uncertainty
Conclusion & personal development
- Today: regular content, feedback & enjoyment of the process
- Gratitude despite setbacks
adoption
- Reference to other projects
- Thanks to the listeners:

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Number of downloads: 408
Playing time: 0:15:52
Date of admission: 29.03.25
This episode is from season 4, there are a total of 4 seasons.

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Introduction: If's cracking - why we should be prepared

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Introduction: Why it's important to recognize dissociation

introduction

1. introduction

introduction